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Mums not allowed.... at school. WTAF???

(168 Posts)
HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 10:12:28

So our headmaster doesn't want mums to hang around in the playground in the morning or anywhere in school grounds. We are specifically told to wave to our kids goodbye at the gates and off they go!!! He wants a parents free school especially in the morning!!
I'm kind of ok with this but if I need to go in for some reason I m getting this dodgy look from him. So this morning I really had to speak to the secretary after I dropped my 5yo and there he was the bloody annoying headmaster giving me the shittiest look ever!
I'm bloody paying 6K a term for that school and I think I am allowed to go in once a fortnight if I need to!!!
AIBU?

Whatshouldmyusernamebe Thu 12-Oct-17 10:13:58

Parents always welcome at my kids non private School! grin sounds very odd! Why don't you speak to him about it. Little ones need their mum to take them in sometimes.

Misspollyhadadollie Thu 12-Oct-17 10:16:25

Doesn't sound odd to me if your not out off my kids school by 9 they lock you in.

Bluntness100 Thu 12-Oct-17 10:16:28

Well there is a level, of course you should be able to go into talk to thr staff, but I assume he’s had a problem with mums using the grounds as some form of social club and he’s trying to rightly stamp it out.

However I would also say I’m fairly sure the staff all have jobs and if all the mums piled in they’d get sod all done, usually I just sent an email.

AtHomeDadGlos Thu 12-Oct-17 10:20:16

Generally it’s a good rule. As a teacher who’s worked in both sectors, there’s nothing more annoying than a parent trying to grab you for a ‘quick word’ as the children are filing in. I’ve had some fairly confidential discussions with parents (obviously at their instigation and only about their child) while others are putting bags and coats away etc. It’s easier to have a ‘don’t come through the gates’ rule as it’s clear where the line is.

However, you’re entirely in your right to pop in to the office if you need to. Maybe wait until lessons have started if that’s possible? Or arrive a little early when collecting?

Or, alternatively, tell the Head why you’re there and ask what the problem is. He won’t want to lose your money in this financial climate.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Thu 12-Oct-17 10:21:26

It’s fairly standard round here. Anyone up for a chat goes for coffee.

AtHomeDadGlos Thu 12-Oct-17 10:22:17

Also, in my most recent school, many parents (really only the mums) would hang around in the playground for an hour at pick up time (especially in spring and summer) waiting for their other child to finish a club.

In the meantime they wouldn’t properly look after their own children who used the school playground like it was a park.

FlaviaAlbia Thu 12-Oct-17 10:24:34

I volunteer at a kids organisation and I sympathise with this rule. Having parents hanging around chatting is so disruptive when you're trying to getting the kids to stay quiet to start the activities, their behaviour is always far worse when the parents are hanging around.

Couldn't you send a note in for the secretary with your DC?

HornyTortoise Thu 12-Oct-17 10:25:32

I get it tbh...at my daughters school theres a large group of parents who seem to just hang round the school constantly talking and squawking on. I imagine it gets quite annoying for teachers trying to get kids attention whilst their mothers (and one father) are using the school yard as a meeting place to gossip.

Its a bit OTT for the headmaster to be deathstaring because you hang back to speak to the secretary.

HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 10:28:02

In the rare event I go up I do it for a particular reason as I have to rush off to work I don't have time for chats etc
What annoys me is that he knows it as I'm one of the very few working and he still gives me the anal look!
I totally get what he's trying to do and he succeeded what he wanted but he makes me feel uncomfortable. He'd run The school as a military base if he could he's extremely strict and when it's becoming disrespectful it's starts to piss me off!
i wouldn't want to confront him, not the type but that's why I wanted to understand if his is normal!

Zippydoodah Thu 12-Oct-17 10:29:15

I think they should develop an open door policy, to be honest. We had this at our school but, obviously, it was pointed out that there were times where it was not possible to speak to parents - e.g. first thing in the morning (except to give urgent info re pick up arrangements). So long as parents know they can speak to teachers, they are mostly OK with it. I think giving parents a look for wanting to go to the office is way out of order and I would raise it with the school. You might have children at the school but you are not a child yourself.

Celticlassie Thu 12-Oct-17 10:29:42

Are they not busy in the office in the morning? With absence phone calls and the like? Perhaps there’s a different preferred method of communicating with the office and this is another reason to prevent you entering the school.

Mittens1969 Thu 12-Oct-17 10:30:10

To be fair, I get the headteacher’s point where KS2 is concerned. I find that a quick drop-off works much better with DD1 (8, year 4), if we get there too early she can become very clingy and refuse to go into school. Whereas if we get there just before she has to go in, she doesn’t have the chance to act up.

With KS1 (at least reception and year 1), parents should be allowed to stay with their children until the teacher comes to get them into the classroom.

hiyasminitsme Thu 12-Oct-17 10:30:36

I'd start looking to move TBH. is there much pressure on private places where you live? if you give notice now you can move from September if you can find somewhere else.

G1raffe Thu 12-Oct-17 10:31:48

Our junior school does this but there's someone on the gate with a notebook for any queries or messages to pass on.

Infant school we wait in the playground until the bell goes then they line up and go into their classes but we can leave a message with the teacher if necessary.

Bluetrews25 Thu 12-Oct-17 10:32:49

You really need to go into the office once a fortnight?
Do you feel entitled to because you are paying their wages?
Have you thought that you might be the person who inspired the rule?

bridgetreilly Thu 12-Oct-17 10:32:52

It seems like the thing you're actually cross about is the way that he looks at you, not the rule, which isn't stopping you doing what you need to. In which case YABVU. Get over it.

Liiinoo Thu 12-Oct-17 10:33:03

TBF to the headmaster he can't be expected to remember every parents personal circumstances and modify his facial expressions or the rules accordingly.

HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 10:34:10

hiya I have actually started thinking about moving. DS is average for his class and headmaster doesn't like average, he likes perfect so he's pushing us (and other similar parents ) for maths, English private support so DS gets to the perfect level angry
So other than the 6K per term I'm now paying weekly speech therapy and almost daily private tuition!
If I am happy with average I don't get his problem! DS is 5 and average is perfect for me!

Zippydoodah Thu 12-Oct-17 10:34:40

All school offices are busy in the morning but most schools have an answerphone service for absences so that helps stop most of those calls. Some allow email communication, too, which is even better. I think they are a bit unreasonable if they expecting parents not to come to the office at that time, though. Most are dashing off somewhere else - e.g. work. It's a bit like a shop moaning because it is busy at lunchtime - yes, of course it is, that is why you put on extra resources for it (or you should!)

HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 10:36:37

G1raffe that's a great idea!! I ll speak to PA about this

Well the school is small they have ten a class it's private so they are on holiday constantly so what's the issue with me goung up every two weeks for 3mins if something needs to be done!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Thu 12-Oct-17 10:37:19

Private tuition, on top of private school fees?? Move him tout suite.

HeadmasterIsShit Thu 12-Oct-17 10:37:30

Zippy spot on!

WitchesHatRim Thu 12-Oct-17 10:39:02

Failing to see the issue tbh

so what's the issue with me goung up every two weeks for 3mins if something needs to be done!

What exactly 'needs to be done' every fortnight?

Olympiathequeen Thu 12-Oct-17 10:41:11

Wish we could! Need to go into classroom with ds(4), help put coats away, help choose lunch and help settle little one when all I want is to go home to a cup of coffee.

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