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Am in the wrong here?

(191 Posts)
Louiseop Thu 12-Oct-17 08:49:54

Me and my partner have just moved into a new property.
I work full time and he is currently in between jobs.
I picked a carpet out and he liked it,so I gave him the money (over £1000) for him to go to the shop and pay for them.
Come home Tuesday all excited and ask when they being fitted ..."don't know"
Was his response.
Ok why don't you know?
The man needs to come down Thursday (today ) to double check the measurements.
This morning arrives...just left for work and I say
"At least we will know today when the carpets will be down"
His response ."no we won't"
So I ask why?
"He is just coming to double check measurements then I guess he will have to order carpet,he will probably ring me when he can"
So I got annoyed and said
"Well ask how long roughly before they are fitted)
He said .."I'm not asking that he will ring when he can"
So then I get annoyed and say
"What's the problem in asking for a rough estimate after we have just gave him over a grand"
So he raises his voice now and starts being patronising ...
"Ok then you tell me how carpet shops work,has Joe blogs got all these carpets lying around waiting for people to order,come on you tell me how it works"
I told him to fuck off and walked out.
All I wanted was a idea of how long it should be?

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Thu 12-Oct-17 08:53:35


MaidenMotherCrone Thu 12-Oct-17 08:54:13

I don't think the carpet is your problem here.

KarateKitten Thu 12-Oct-17 08:54:34

I've only bought a carpet once and did have to wait some time for the carpet fitter to be available and the carpet to be in stock after ordering. Maybe a week or 10 days?

The way you spoke to him is disgusting.

ShatnersWig Thu 12-Oct-17 08:54:54


Handsfull13 Thu 12-Oct-17 08:55:13

You are not in the wrong there.
If you couldn't know about it because the guy won't do estimates then fair enough. But the fact your OH won't ask is wrong, it can't hurt him to ask. Tell him to put his big boy pants on and find out when you get carpet

ijustwannadance Thu 12-Oct-17 08:55:49

His responses are weird. Like he's trying to distract you. Is there a chance he has spent the cash and hasn't actually been to buy the carpet?

caringdenise009 Thu 12-Oct-17 08:55:54

I think you are in the wrong. It takes about a week from ordering to fitting.

Louiseop Thu 12-Oct-17 08:55:54

The way I spoke to him is disgusting?

Teawithtoast Thu 12-Oct-17 08:56:04

Your partner is BU. I've always been given an estimated time for fitting from a carpet shop. If he's too scared to ask the carpet fitters for an estimate fitting period, maybe you can ask for him.

Louiseop Thu 12-Oct-17 08:56:20

All I wanted was a idea how long it would take.

DancesWithOtters Thu 12-Oct-17 08:57:07

You were just asking for a rough timescale. Of course that's a reasonable thing to ask. Is he always such a child?

How long has he been between jobs?

FlandersRocks Thu 12-Oct-17 08:57:20

This is ridiculous...sorry but if you need an AIBU over such a boring and uneventful non-conversation, I dread to think what happens if you have actual issues.

Teawithtoast Thu 12-Oct-17 08:57:24

Being patronising is also disgusting.

NC4now Thu 12-Oct-17 08:57:34

Err, yes. You are in the wrong. You spoke to him like a child and when you didn't get the answer you wanted you swore at him.

Louiseop Thu 12-Oct-17 08:57:47

About 7 months or so now.

tygr Thu 12-Oct-17 08:58:17

Is the real issue here the money and the fact that he isn’t earning and that’s what’s being unspoken in this argument?

It seems an overreaction from both of you to a carpet fitting timescale.

Is the fact that you’re earning and it’s your money feeling threatening to him? Do you resent that he’s not bringing money in? Seem to be deeper issues at work here.

ShatnersWig Thu 12-Oct-17 08:58:33

How long till someone says "if you were a man, OP, and told your partner to fuck off...."

Louiseop Thu 12-Oct-17 08:58:37

I didn't speak to him like a child.
He always try's to make me feel like a idiot asking the simplest of questions.

Mrstrumpalot Thu 12-Oct-17 08:58:41

This ^^
Absolutely no reason why he can’t just ask.
I would be the same as you op. Would just like to have a rough idea when it might be. 5 days, 10 days, a month?

NC4now Thu 12-Oct-17 08:58:46

It was quite a reasonable thing to want to know. You just went about it in an unreasonable way.

DancesWithOtters Thu 12-Oct-17 08:59:08

But what if it will take 2 months to order the carpet? I'd want to know.

Does he generally get things done while you're working?

Teawithtoast Thu 12-Oct-17 08:59:47

I'm not sure how the OP was unreasonable for asking valid questions?

Louiseop Thu 12-Oct-17 09:00:09

I probably shouldn't have swore but if someone is standing up in front of you,he try's to make me feel like a idiot and then didn't let me respond and as I was trying ..he goes
"Come on then you tell me how it works"
I lost my temper

Mrstrumpalot Thu 12-Oct-17 09:00:18

Oh, thread has moved on since my response.
I was agreeing to handfuls response.

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