I know I am but please help me be punny!

[y0rkier0se]

I've been charged with the (unfortunate) task of writing the nativity play for Year 2 (6/7 year olds). The theme is alter-nativity.. I'm thinking the traditional story but with a minimal script and pop songs to tell the story. The pop songs must be age appropriate but I can tweak lyrics. So far I have come up with "born in Bethlehem sung to the tune of "born in the USA", "baby baby baby" by Justin Beiber when the baby is born, "Gold" by Spandau Ballet for when the three kings bring their gifts.. and DP suggested "push it" by salt n peppa for the birth scene but I don't think that's appropriate somehow! Any suggestions?

[Friendofsadgirl]

Here comes the Sun? Sorry, first thing that came into my head.

[y0rkier0se]

Love that! Thanks

[grumpysquash3]

is it just a little bit of a song for each bit?
My brain is singing 'Gimme, gimme, gimme a star after midnight'
You would surely have to have 'Mary's Boy Child' (Boney M or sometime around then if it wasn't them)

Some modern stuff would work well, can you tweak the lyrics of Ed Sheeran's 'Perfect' (or use it as Mary rides on the donkey)?

[WorraLiberty]

Like a virgin by Madonna

They can sing it while Mary pisses on a stick

I'm not very good at this, am I?

[y0rkier0se]

Yeah I'm thinking just a verse or chorus or even just a clip. Maybe not like a virgin 😂 Going to look up perfect thanks!

[elephantoverthehill]

Perhaps a cockney twist as M&J are looking for lodgings 'Any old inn, any, any old inn?'

[grumpysquash3]

Worra
I think you've kicked off the cabaret version :)

[Normalserviceissuspended]

I don't really think that any of it is appropriate-and certainly not for 6 year olds- sorry. If you want a pop opera then chose something other than a nativity. Some things are better kept traditional.

[KeepServingTheDrinks]

If you're doing "Gold" for one of the gifts, how about "Hey Frankie" (Sister Sledge???) for the Frankincense. Not sure what you'd do for the Myrrh though.....

[grumpysquash3]

You could have a crowd of girl angels singing a version of Beyonce's "If I were a boy" (obviously change the words a lot, but the tune is good). Or change it to "if I were a King" if it fits in better elsewhere.

[Normalserviceissuspended]

What I meant was that 6 year olds won't get the jokes- so the puns and the songs will be above their heads. That means you are doing it for the adults- not the children. Most 6 year olds will not have done a traditional nativity to death yet. It is something special (even if not religious and I am not)

It is twee, I hate productions that are put on by children but are not accessible to children.

[grumpysquash3]

Not sure what you'd do for the Myrrh though.....

You could Myrrh through almost any song without words. myrrh-myrrh myrrh myrrh MYRRH MYYRRRRHHHH - that's the first line of happy birthday to you (i.e. Jesus).

They could actually sing Happy Birthday.

I'm totally into this :)

[MrsOverTheRoad]

You do know there are many, very good free Nativity scripts available? Why make someone write a new one!?

Agree with pp that it's all a bit naff when the kids probably won't get the jokes.

[grumpysquash3]

Normal I take your point, but surely Panto is exactly the same? The kids enjoy it anyway.

For kids that aren't religious, does it really make any difference? Do non religious kids even know the nativity? I do take on that some parents/kids might totally be religious and don't think it's appropriate. But it really depends on the school - if it's a non religious school, surely it's ok. My DC are older now, but we had "Xmas and the Aliens" etc. and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

[Dixiestampsagain]

Myrrh, myrrh, myrrh, how do you like it, how do you like it?!

[ineedaholidaynow]

When DS was at Primary School they used to buy in plays including Nativity plays. The Nativity ones were very rarely traditional and usually very loosely based on the Nativity.

These plays were full of jokes/puns the children didn't get. I was a parent volunteer and would sometimes help with rehearsals. We would have to tell children to pause after certain lines as the parents would be laughing, but the children had no idea why, no matter how many times they had delivered the lines.

[IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying]

'Where are you gonna sleep tonight?' Amy McDonald.

[NerrSnerr]

Reach for the star?

[NerrSnerr]

The donkey would walk 500 miles?

[saoirse31]

So at Eid will you be running a similar type play? And will you do the same about important dates in Hindu, Sikhs, Buddhists religions?

Thought not. Maybe you should consider why that is.

[SouthWindsWesterly]

Phahahaha!!! The donkey ride to Bethlehem to the music of the proclaimed! Fantastic!

[GinIsIn]

One thing to check is if you need a PRS license - some of those songs may well incur a royalties charge for public performance, which includes school plays.

[ibuiltahomeforyou]

I think this is a terrible idea.

Is it not just a bit weird to put on a show that is totally all about the audience, using music the children most likely won’t even know? It seems like it is essentially a series of jokes/puns the children won’t even understand.

If my child was in this I’d be totally - I hate pantomimes for the ‘jokes for the dads’ bits as they are just laughing up their sleeve at the children too young to work out what the joke is.

[SandmanSlim]

What about "Myrrh, huh, what is it good for?"

[ineedaholidaynow]

I think maybe some people haven't seen the plays that many schools put on nowadays.

One year DS had one of the leading roles, he was an accountant
This was a Christmas play loosely based on the Nativity. It was so loosely based that to this day I still have no idea what was going on!