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AIBU To ask how to wriggle out of a lift share?

(94 Posts)
TexanBar Wed 11-Oct-17 22:52:21

DS is 14. He is about to start an evening activity running from 7pm until 9pm. Activity about 8 miles away. DS has a friend who will also be starting the same activity. I am pretty certain that friend's parents will ask me to lift share. Trouble is that I find Ds's friend is rude and disrespectful and I don't want to end up driving him to this activity each week. Trouble is I can't think of a single good excuse i could give as to why " I can't do it." Can anyone think of anything?

JohnLapsleyParlabane Wed 11-Oct-17 22:53:20

You don't need an excuse. Just say 'I can't do that'

TheBadTemperedLadybird Wed 11-Oct-17 22:53:52

Just say 'I cant' if they ask. Don't give a reason, it's none of their business at all. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

jollygoose Wed 11-Oct-17 22:53:55

If your parents live nearish perhaps you could suggest you were having a meal with them first.

TexanBar Wed 11-Oct-17 22:54:18

I need to give some reason or will look rude!

TheBadTemperedLadybird Wed 11-Oct-17 22:54:28

Or if you find that difficult say 'it's not convenient'

TheBadTemperedLadybird Wed 11-Oct-17 22:54:57

You don't need to give a reason! They don't own you!

LonginesPrime Wed 11-Oct-17 22:55:16

Arrange something else you're going into afterwards?

Take up a hobby that means your car is full?

Put the seats down in the back of your car and load it up with stuff so only the front seats can be used?

Booboobooboo84 Wed 11-Oct-17 22:55:28

That doesn't work for me. I frequently have errands to run

LonginesPrime Wed 11-Oct-17 22:56:29

I don't want to end up driving him to this activity each week

Wouldn't it be every other week if they're doing half?

PickAChew Wed 11-Oct-17 22:56:37

Just say it doesn't fit in with your life.

BeeFarseer Wed 11-Oct-17 22:57:16

I'd try all the above first, but if you really want to give a reason, maybe say you don't get much one-on-one time with DS and you're looking forward to using the driving time to catch up.

But I'm of the school of thought that giving a reason just gives pushy people something to argue against. Better to be noncommittal.

TexanBar Wed 11-Oct-17 22:57:32

Thank you for suggestion Jolly goose ( love the name btw). Unfortunately parents live 200 miles away so can't use them as an excuse!

Mumof41987 Wed 11-Oct-17 22:57:41

Just say you can't !! No big deal

Anecdoche Wed 11-Oct-17 22:58:03

any lie you tell you have to involve your son in. do you think he will be able to do that?

i wouldnt prioritise not looking rude. i would say that isnt an arrangement i want to make.

it is not rude to say no.

LonginesPrime Wed 11-Oct-17 22:58:04

You're using the time to learn a language in the car?

You're a nervous driver and not keen on the responsibility of driving other people's kids?

StereophonicallyChallenged Wed 11-Oct-17 22:59:15

I'd suck it up if it meant only half the driving. But then I sometimes feel like I am actually part taxi 😂

Uptheduffy Wed 11-Oct-17 23:00:12

But a lift share means you don’t have to do half the lifts, which would be great. Have you ever told him off if he is rude, does that work? Or whack some music on and ignore them.

chocatoo Wed 11-Oct-17 23:01:24

'I'm sorry, I don't want to make a long term commitment'

TexanBar Wed 11-Oct-17 23:01:27

Thank you all for the ideas. I like the idea of getting the chance to the spend one on one time with DS as an excuse!

AnonEvent Wed 11-Oct-17 23:03:32

'I'm sorry, I don't want to make a long term commitment' this is both sensible and true, add in your bit about wanting some rare one-on-one time with DS and the job's a good 'un.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 11-Oct-17 23:04:13

Does that mean you’re driving 32 miles on an evening there AND back every week cos you don’t want to share?

That sounds nuts when you could just take them and they pick them up.

Have you considered actually telling the snot nosed little shite bag to shut the fuck up and not be cheeky to you in your car? Cos that would be my preferred option.

TexanBar Wed 11-Oct-17 23:04:53

Obvs a lift share would mean less driving for me. However I would rather do all driving than put up with the friend's behaviour. I do try to say something when he is cheeky but friend laughs it off and doesn't take it seriously.

TexanBar Wed 11-Oct-17 23:06:54

It would be sixteen miles each week as would probably do some grocery shopping in local supermarket while DS at group.

OnlyAmy Wed 11-Oct-17 23:14:27

If asked, just say "Oh, I'm afraid that just won't work for us". You don't owe an explanation.

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