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Ex telling me things DC have said

(2 Posts)
beesandknees Wed 11-Oct-17 19:51:54

Full prepared to be told I'm being U

Separated from ex two years ago. DS was just on 3 at the time.

So is now 5 and at an age when he is testing things out, becoming more calculating/manipulative, all normal and natural at this age.

Overnights are shared between parents, 50/50. I spend more awake time with him than his dad, but DS never spends more than 3 nights away from one of us in a row. We live very close to each other. All happy, works well. Ex has form for being very manipulative with me. He is good to his son though.

DS has started to say things to me like "Oh I love you much more than I love daddy" or "I wish we could all live at your house". I answer with "OK darling, well mummy and daddy both love you very much", "I know you do my love, it's hard sometimes, luckily we have two lovely houses", etc. etc. Non committal, loving, acknowledging and moving on gently.

It would never occur to me to tell ex any of this, it would only hurt ex, when all the child is doing is exploring his feelings and looking to see whether he can get a reaction.

But lately, clearly DS is starting the same stuff with Dad, as my ex is now reporting back to me "Oh DS keeps asking if you can come and live at mine" "DS says he loves me more than you", all mirror images of what DS says to me - imo very normal in a separated family. Just needs calm acknowledgement.

But ex seems to be reading into these, and wanting me to feel bad about them. It feels so manipulative that he is telling me any of this. AIBU or am I the weird one for not reporting same back to my ex?

I just don't understand what ex's game is here. I mean. It's not like we are going to get back together ffs! The child needs help accepting that. Why come crying to me about it? Just fucking deal with it like a normal parent!

AIBU? I don't know how I am meant to reply to these texts either...

CorbynsBumFlannel Wed 11-Oct-17 19:57:07

I'd just say something dismissive/funny like 'How rude! He said he loved me better than you yeaterday 😂' Take the wind out of his sails.

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