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To use the AS 'I'm not naughty' badge on toddler

(8 Posts)
Mamabear4180 Wed 11-Oct-17 15:54:09

My 2.9 year old has ASD and can have meltdowns if overloaded or confused etc.

Today I overheard a toddler group leader call my DD naughty in a conversation (with someone else) due to a meltdown which ironically she unwittingly caused. It was a flippant comment and I'm sure she didn't mean it harshly (she's a bit old school) but it did bother me. I put her straight and let her know that she has autism and she was clearly mortified and then proceeded to tell me how well she copes in group considering.

I have badges from the autistic society that state "I'm not naughty, I'm autistic' which I shoved in the drawer because I'm not sure how I feel about them. I don't know whether to put them on her? I'm new to all this and feel a bit overwhelmed.

Lottapianos Wed 11-Oct-17 15:56:47

Well the group leader shouldn't be referring to any child as 'naughty' so well done for confronting her on that

I work with children who has ASD and I think those badges are a good idea. Many parents report getting shares or very unhelpful comments if their child becomes distressed in public. A badge or a t-shirt explaining the situation might teach people to think before opening their mouths

missadasmith Wed 11-Oct-17 15:56:52

I never used them for my child (autism). I kind of felt very uncomfortable announcing my child's DX to the world in that way.

I grew a thick skin re comments but if ever something got to me (like the situation you describe, OP), then I would go to the person and tell them that DC had SN.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 11-Oct-17 16:07:35

Oh I think she needs Educating a lot more. She clearly has no or ridiculously little no knowledge on your dds condition. Plus if she knew anything at all about children's development she'd also know that two year olds throwing tantrums is perfectly normal, even if they don't have under laying issues.

DixieNormas Wed 11-Oct-17 16:08:51

I'm also not sure how I feel about them, although there have been a couple of occasions where people have made a meltdown worse by trying to talk to him and a badge may have prevented that

CorbynsBumFlannel Wed 11-Oct-17 17:06:57

I don't like them.
I have a kid with ASD and one without and I've worked with kids that age and pretty much all 2 yr olds have 'meltdowns' - a phrase I don't particularly like either tbh. I think the toddler group leader might be in the wrong line of work.

Mamabear4180 Wed 11-Oct-17 18:03:24

As far as I understand it, meltdowns are different to tantrums because they are not a behaviour a child is displaying to try and influence events or get their own way but a reaction, which they can't help, to being overwhelmed in some way but I do agree that can also apply to all toddlers sometimes and I'm far far from an expert. In fact totally new to it all. I find the phrase reassuring but can see it both sides.

I totally agree the toddler group leader was way in the wrong generally and shouldn't be talking about any 2 year old like that. She didn't know I could hear her but that's no excuse. It's a church run group so not like a nursery with qualified staff. She's just a bit of an old bat tbh, old school, strict. It's probably the wrong group for us at the moment but been going since DD was a baby so reluctant to change our Wednesdays.

Really appreciate the replies, it's good to get a feel about how people see these badges, I can see their purpose but I find them a bit in-your-face if you see what I mean. I don't know if it's fair to DD or an advantage. Tough one!

Mamabear4180 Wed 11-Oct-17 18:05:37

Also when DD has a regular tantrum she calms down with favourite things/hugs etc but a meltdown can change her mood for the entire day and takes a while to pacify, often resorting to an old baby bottle and her blankie so there seems to be a difference in her case.

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