First time I've ever posted, but I have been a lurker for quite a while.
I'm on maternity leave at the moment and I have a 20 month old and a 2 month old. My husband has recently started a career change, he's out the house mon-fri from 7ish till around 6ish and then usually does a further 2 or 3 hours of work from about 9pm. He does cook maybe 4 nights a week but apart from this he literally does nothing around the house. It takes him about 30min to cook something, he'll cook from scratch so we aren't talking microwave dinners. He plays five a side football on a Friday evening and the past few weeks he's been out on a stag do, night out with his course etc. He does a few hours work sat or Sunday but bar that and the social thing he doesn't do anything else at the weekend, yet he refuses to lift a finger!!! I'm talking taking off his coat, socks, shoes whatever and just leaving it, he'll use a plate, glass etc and just leaves it there waiting for me to clear it up. I literally don't have a minute to myself, sometimes don't even have time to shower!!!! When I've mentioned he isn't helping at all, he'll point out he does the cooking and says "I'm too busy".
Before he started this course he was self employed and only worked 20 hours a week, all antisocial hours though. I was going out to work before 7 and getting in after 7 and coming home cleaning up and spending my entire Saturday cleaning the house, even when heavily pregnant. He'd say he couldn't clean the house as he was looking after our daughter in the day, he'd take her swimming, the park etc, but did ZERO around the house. Before we were married we moved back home with our parent's after uni to save for a house, his mum and dad did everything around the house as well as having a cleaner. He was never expected to do anything (I think his mum had wasted too much time and energy in the past nagging).
Sometimes I think well I'm on maternity leave maybe I should do it all?? If I'm honest though I'm struggling to do everything, I'm breastfeeding on demand, chasing a toddler around then trying to run a house on my own. Surely he should be doing more?? Do people on mat leave still have their partner help with housework etc??
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AIBU?
AIBU to think my husband should help with the housework when I'm on maternity leave?
37 replies
Halfdrankbrew · 11/10/2017 15:48
OP posts:
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