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To feel a bit let down?

(14 Posts)
Sunnyx Wed 11-Oct-17 15:35:37

I'm a first time mum and my DFs first grandchild. Firstly my DF booked to go away with his gf and would be out of area on my due date (luckily my DS was born early so DF was actually around). Secondly he's now gone travelling around Asia for a year when DS is only 3 months old.

He's in is mid 60's and I get that this could be his last chance to experience something amazing but I personally wouldn't do it as I would find enjoying my first grandchild much more exciting. When he gets back, DS will be over a year old and won't know who he is.

An I justified in feeling a little upset by this?

NoCryLilSoftSoft Wed 11-Oct-17 15:38:36

YABU and ridiculous! Your father isn't not your child's father. He has raised his children, he is. Ow enjoying the freedom of bit being tied down by having children. You can't seriously expect him to put his life on hold because you decided to have a baby!

ShatnersWig Wed 11-Oct-17 15:38:56

To be honest, your baby is not going to really get to know who anyone is before they are a year old, not really. And, for a lot of people, a baby is, well, a baby - even if related. It's not until they develop a personality that they become, well, interesting.

NoCryLilSoftSoft Wed 11-Oct-17 15:39:11

Freedom of not being tied down.

coldcuptea Wed 11-Oct-17 15:42:37

It's tricky but I think all in all yanbu to be a bit dissapointed . I say this because I have observed how closely bonded my dad is with his grandchildren , even well before they turned 1. He was always on the lookout for first steps , first words , first foods . Although I can appreciate not all grandads are like this and there's still plenty of time for him when he gets back .

EC22 Wed 11-Oct-17 15:42:41

You're being daft, from me to be disappointed but you're expectations of your father are too high.

Oysterbabe Wed 11-Oct-17 15:42:41

I think YABU too. Now's a good time before the baby is old enough to really know who people are.

Booagain Wed 11-Oct-17 15:44:40

Id be upset to be honest but I'm sure they will build a relationship when he's home. am I right in thinking your dad booked this a while ago? If so, it makes it harder because you know it's no ones fault, just circumstance. You can send lots of photos and Skype calls smile

sonjadog Wed 11-Oct-17 15:45:30

YAB massively U. He has raised his children and is free to live his life as he chooses and he is grabbing that chance while he still can.

AnnabelleLecter Wed 11-Oct-17 15:51:24

Yabu. He can bond with your DC when he gets back. Not all grandparents lives revolve around their grandchildren. He's off travelling so will have lots of interesting stories to tell your DS when he's older.

schoolgaterebel Wed 11-Oct-17 17:31:11

You are being silly, you should support your DF and he can bond with your DS when he is a toddler, it’s not so important when he’s a baby. In the nicest way possible, you need to pull yourself together.

gamerchick Wed 11-Oct-17 19:33:07

If he has asked you to out off having babies until after his travels would you have?

This is the best time for him to go. Babies are dull for other people, they’re much More interesting when their little personalities develop and they’re mobile.

You enjoy your baby and wish your dad good travels. There is always Skype, the world is a lot smaller these days.

Fattymcfaterson Wed 11-Oct-17 20:18:53

OK, so when would it be acceptable for your dad to travel for a year? After a bond has been formed... When the baby is 2-3yr old? What if then you decide to have another baby? Do his plans go on hold again?

confusedlittleone Wed 11-Oct-17 20:34:32

How very inconsiderate of him for not sitting around for the rest of his life waiting for you to say jump..

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