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About not wanting to book my own birthday 'event'?

(12 Posts)
Chapterandverse Wed 11-Oct-17 14:21:43

I'll try to keep this short & succinct!

I'm one of 6 sisters and for each significant birrhday we usually arrange some sort of event.

In the past it's been a spa day at a local hotel, a night away in the city, a family wide party at home, a meal out in a posh place etc.. basically something to mark the occasions & celebrate as sisters. We're very close and be in contact most days. It's usually me who organises the events for the older ones - we all chip in financially - but all booking, sourcing etc is down to me and sometimes an older sister.

Anyway, I have a significant birthday coming up in the next couple of months.

A couple of weeks ago my sisters suggested a city close to home and an event which I'm happy to go to.

Then last night in a group chat sis 1 asked me if I had booked the event yet or if I'd "had a chance to look at an air B&B"

I said "No?" And she replied "Get on it" I'm such a coward I just didn't respond but I feel a bit shitty.

I just feel I shouldn't have to organise my own birthday.

I don't like feeling petty like this, I'm usually very generous and never begrudge the time I spend organising their birthdays or celebrations, but I don't want to do my own!

I love spending time with them and I'm definitely not spoiled or the golden child or anything, it's all been pretty fair growing up, but I feel a bit taken for granted & am pretty sure they would hate me to feel the way I do.

AIBU to feel I shouldn't have to organise my own celebration after organising all theirs too?

5rivers7hills Wed 11-Oct-17 14:26:42

AIBU to feel I shouldn't have to organise my own celebration after organising all theirs too?


Maybe msg the one you are closest to and aks what is going on and who is going to organsie your birthday

Ploppie4 Wed 11-Oct-17 14:44:29

Treat it like a joke. Post ‘Very funny! You get on with it! 😀’

Ploppie4 Wed 11-Oct-17 14:45:56

Or ‘very funny! The birthday girl doesn’t book silly’

Tilapia Wed 11-Oct-17 14:46:08


Ellisandra Wed 11-Oct-17 14:52:43

You've taken it upon yourself to be the organiser for all 6 of you previously, including presumably your own.

Therefore, I don't think it's wrong of your sister to think you are happy to do it this time.

It's up to you to change that if you're not happy. Just group message them "hey, I'm usually happy to organise the bookings but as it's my I feel like being spoiled smile would love it if you can all sort it this time - thank you!"

Chapterandverse Wed 11-Oct-17 15:46:11

Ellisandra my last 'big' birthday coincided with someone else's big one (their 21st) so we had two cakes at her party..! Nobody needed to organise anything as the birthday girls mum (my sil) got me a cake!

I haven't had a big one since.

Usual run-of-the-mill birthdays we go round the birthday girls house with a cake/wine etc.

I might be U then?

mikeyssister Wed 11-Oct-17 15:49:36


I don't think you should have to sort it and I certainly wouldn't be asking nicely for them to. I'd definitely go with @Ploppie4 's first suggestion.

Ellisandra Wed 11-Oct-17 16:47:41

Why the hmm Mikey?
I didn't tell OP to organise it, I simply pointed out that I don't think it's unreasonable of her sister to think she would organise it, giving she has organised so many previously.

For that reason I wouldn't consider the sister asking to be cheeky. Some people like being the organiser, and as OP has done more than her fair share, why wouldn't they think she likes to?

You're not unreasonable to not want to OP, but your sister isn't being unreasonable to say it. All that needs to happen is you say you want someone else to sort it. I don't see why Mikey has a problem with that request being made "nicely".

mikeyssister Wed 11-Oct-17 22:55:07

Where does OP say she took on herself to be the organiser?

TheSnowFairy Wed 11-Oct-17 23:33:14

I have booked my birthday treat this year - theatre tickets.

otherwise I will get another mummy mug which I really don't need


Op - YANBU. Tell your sisters to do it.

Ellisandra Thu 12-Oct-17 09:52:53


It's usually me who organises the event for the older ones ... but all booking, sourcing etc is down to me

(OP does say sometimes with help)

So she doesn't organise everything every time but she's certainly had a history of doing a lot of the organising! Which doesn't mean she's stuck with it now, I haven't said she should do it - but it's why I don't think her sister is cheeky to expect it - OP must surely come across to them all as someone who likes organising.

FWIW myself and one sibling always organise our own - we're happy to, and prefer it.

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