to not babysit?

[teaandakitkat]

I have a good friend with kids similar ages to mine.

For years I have been using baby-sitters. I have 3 teenagers, well one is now 20, who babysit for us. I know all their parents, know the teenagers well, sensible people, I absolutely trust them to do the right thing if anything went wrong.

I choose to pay someone because I don't like always asking a friend, everyone has busy lives, it's just easier this way. So I've sort of decided now that I don't want to do any evening babysitting for friends either any more. I just can't be bothered. I like my own house and getting to bed early. I don't bother other people with looking after mine so I"m out of the babysitting circle faffing about.

My friend sometimes asks me to babysit. I usually say yes if I can because she's a friend. But last time she asked me I said no, but I can give you the number of my babysitter, I'm sure she will happily do it.

She said no, she would never leave her children with anyone other than a competent adult, she doesn't know how I can possibly relax when my children are with a babysitter. Now one girl who sits for me is 20 and in her final year of a law degree so I reckon she's pretty competent, she's certainly dealt with everything my kids have thrown at her.

So my friend is now offering to pay to have the incompetent babysitter look after my children so I can go round and look after hers. I have said no, sorry. But again, here is the number of the babysitter if you want it.

But this is ridiculous, right? She can sort out her own babysitting problems? I've even offered her a solution.

I suspect she's going to really take the huff if I don't do it for her, so at least I won't have to worry about it again!

[Shoxfordian]

That's completely ridiculous

Keep saying no in future

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

Keep saying no you have CF for a friend.

[MrsJayy]

Let her huff, if she wants she is being ridiculous, keep saying no.

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

So she is ok with your children having an "incompetent" baby sitter, whom you have had to pay, whilst you look after her kids for free? Don't give out the babysitters number or subject your baby sitter to this CF!

[MrsJayy]

Surely teenagers don't need baby sat for a night out do they?

[kaytee87]

mrsjayy I think op means she has 3 teenagers that babysit for her.

[kaytee87]

Your friend is being a bit cheeky op. You've said no, she should accept your answer.

[KC225]

Cheeky and ridiculous

[Branleuse]

I wonder what part of the word No she is having trouble with understanding?

[Fattychan123]

Omg she is a piss taker.

She sounds like she's entitled to have you baby sit.

Defo don't give in !!

[MrsJayy]

Ahh right ok misread sorry.

[Brittbugs80]

She's a twat.

Have you asked her why the "incompetent" person is ok to look after your children but not hers?

Cheeky fucker.

[Alloftheboys]

"Oh I'm so sorry I forgot I have a meeting/doctors appointment/eyebrow wax/ tv prog I don't want to miss, ANYTHING as long as you don't get involve in this ridiculous scenario.

[Mittens1969]

Wow, she’s really cheeky, isn’t she? Definitely say no, OP, don’t let her pressure you.

[teaandakitkat]

she is ok with your children having an "incompetent" baby sitter, whom you have had to pay, whilst you look after her kids for free?

She is offering to pay my babysitter costs.
But yes, having just gone on about how she wouldn't trust teenagers she then is happy to have me leave my kids with them!

You know when people are so adamant that they are right and you are being unreasonable, you start to doubt yourself? But no, I am right and she is being an idiot.

[MrsJayy]

Btw im enjoying the cheeky fucker threads that have been popping up the brass neck of them is outstanding.

[SparkyBlue]

Years ago when my sil had young children she had a total notion that she only wanted family minding them and like your friend OP she wouldn’t entertain the idea of paying a local babysitter. I remember that we used to dread her asking dh and myself to babysit as even though we had no children of our own at the time we were both working long hours and I had a long commute during the week so I used to love my relaxing weekends. She started taking the piss with the amount of times we were asked and of course when we suddenly started refusing we were the worst in the world.

[Neolara]

How old are her kids? IME, as the kids get older, the parents get more desperate for a night out and become increasingly accepting of teenage babysitters.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I don't know anyone who expects friends to babysit for them. Everyone I know pays for babysitting.

[SusanTheGentle]

She's definitely BU, what a convoluted ridiculous solution!

I could understand it if e.g. you were employed as her child's SEN expert carer, she needed you at short notice and the babysitter wouldn't be qualified to look after her child, but other than that it's a bit weird.

[Jaxhog]

YANBU! She's just being ridiculous. Even if you aren't going to be out of pocket, you'd still not be at home where you want to be. And since when were friends obliged to babysit?

[NearLifeExperience]

So she doesn't pay you when you babysit, OP, is that right? Just expects you to give up your evening?

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

So my friend is now offering to pay to have the incompetent babysitter look after my children so I can go round and look after hers.
I have said no, sorry. But again, here is the number of the babysitter if you want it.

Some people!!

[user1497863568]

Repeat saying no. Over and over.

[Starlight2345]

I would never have a teen babysitter..Had one once..DS told me he went through my draws... So only adults for me.

That said you do not have to babysit anyones child if you don't want to.

[mindutopia]

Yes, she can sort out her own babysitter issues. Personally, I would never ask a friend, unless it was an emergency. It seems an imposition.

I also personally wouldn't use a teen (even though as a teen I certainly did babysitting, though I had no idea what I was doing, and pretty much just managed to keep those kids alive until their parents came home!). But there are loads of reputable childcare providers and agencies out there that she can access and hire. Let her sort that out for herself.