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What is a fair amount of house work if you work from home ?

(88 Posts)
36plusandtrying Wed 11-Oct-17 10:40:05

Keen to get an idea really - DH works from home, I work full time at least an hour commute each way traffic dependant. DH in bed/still asleep when I leave always bring him coffee. Even if he is awake he never offers to get up, make me a tea, pack my lunch - even if I'm rushing. I often stick a washing or dishwasher on before leaving. (Will let DH know if I have done and ask him to hang out) I've lost count on the amount of times I come home to rewash a stale washing, take one in from outside, unload dishwasher, put away dishes etc. He will help cook at night, because he enjoys this leaving me to tidy round/unload the dishwasher. I never come home to dinner on the table. I understand that he is working, but aibu to expect him to do a bit more ? Or do I just need to be appreciative of what little he does?

TheSparrowhawk Wed 11-Oct-17 10:53:03

He doesn't necessarily need to do any housework during the working day (though it does make sense to stick washing out etc) but in general he should do 50% of the housework, no matter when he does it.

clairethewitch70 Wed 11-Oct-17 10:57:40

I work from home. The expectations are generally higher regarding housework tasks. People forget that we actually work, we are not housekeepers. My DH even though he is my boss and wants the work done each day, also wants me to fulfil the role of housekeeper as I am home each day. I am disabled too. He does pull his weight and helps but most tasks fall upon me.

People need to understand that we cannot do two things at once. If we clean our work suffers.

RB68 Wed 11-Oct-17 11:03:29

I think the fact he works from home is a bit of a red herring - He should be getting up in the am as he is wasting one of his two free hrs sleeping and he should def use the other free hr to generally tidy and do dishwasher before you cook together and clear up TOGETHER.

He needs defined start and finish times for work and outside of that is fair game after 10 mins chill out after work.

The washing thing is tricky - have often put a load on myself and working from home forgotten about it till evening. It shouldn't be stale in that time unless washer needs cleaning. Perfectly fine to put on before work and put out later or better put on evening before and hung out am before work. Bring in if raining or after work

Caulkheadupnorf Wed 11-Oct-17 11:03:30

Washing put on in the morning won’t be stale by the evening.

<misses point of thread>

BellyBean Wed 11-Oct-17 11:03:34

Assuming he needs to do 7-8 hours work each day, if he started at 8:30 and had 30 min lunch, he'd finish at 4-5pm. I'd expect him to fit in an hour of housework, whether that's in a few coffee breaks, longer lunch or after he finishes as he doesn't have to commute.

When my DH wfh he at least empties and loads the dishwasher and puts a load of washing out. Sometimes an errand during lunch.

And that's generous imo. I always do errands or online banking or something during my office commute.

timeisnotaline Wed 11-Oct-17 11:03:49

I have low expectations of cleaning from people wfh while working , but a 50% split overall. Which it doesn't sound like you have, but if you get up early etc to do this stuff then he needs to fit it in somewhere. Just don't confuse the conversation with the wfh part.

ImAlwaysLikeThis Wed 11-Oct-17 11:04:56

clairethewitch totally fair, but what about the two hours when the OP is travelling and the husband is sitting on his arse? Assuming they both work typical 9-5 hours, he has ten more 'free hours' per working week than her. Surely he could use it to spread some of the housework load? Wouldn't you? Genuine question.

peachgreen Wed 11-Oct-17 11:09:04

When I worked from home I did housework in the time my husband was commuting. We felt that was a fair exchange. (I also used to do a bit in my lunch hour but that was balanced out as DH would often stick a load of washing on before he left for work etc). To be honest that covered the vast majority of the cleaning so all we had to split in the evenings was the cooking / washing up, which was fine.

Ellisandra Wed 11-Oct-17 11:09:20

No wonder home working gets a bad reputation!

I work at home a lot.
My company pays me to WORK, not do my own personal things.

I might turn the washing machine on during my lunch break occasionally - but I basically don't do housework when I am at WORK.

I think your husband should share tasks so that you have equal leisure time. But that doesn't mean he should be doing it during his working day.

ambereeree Wed 11-Oct-17 11:13:29

I work from home and do the lions share. Commuting is a pain and tiring in itself. I will generally start work at 9 but do a lot of housework in the morning and once i log off around 6.

timeisnotaline Wed 11-Oct-17 11:14:52

If I'm not commuting I'm doing the nursery drop off and pick up, so don't get that commute time back. Appreciate it's a fair way to look at it if no kids in the mix, but it doesn't seem to be how it's done. What is clear is that this dp doesn't pull his weight.

ambereeree Wed 11-Oct-17 11:15:35

Oh and i have time to put the machine on, stick washing out etc. In the office you step away from the desk to have a coffee so i use those moments to do a few bits

Yazoop Wed 11-Oct-17 11:17:31

I work from home currently and I think 50-50 is still fair (I am still working, after all) - but I have no qualms with taking the washing out on my lunchbreak, washing a couple of dishes etc. These are all small things that makes life easier for everyone, and as I'm at home during the day it makes sense for me to do it (these aren't time intensive tasks like taking an hour to wash all the floors or something like that)!

Similarly, I don't have to commute, so I make the dinner, so it is ready for both of us when DP comes in. DP will do other stuff like chores around the house, helping me with the bigger cleans at the weekend, taking out the bins in the evening etc.

So it isn't really about increasing the amount of housework for one party, it is just more reasonably looking at who does what task, based on circumstances.

araiwa Wed 11-Oct-17 11:18:28

I would expect zero housework to be done whilst someone is at work because theyre at work.

Anything they do is a bonus and shouldnt be expected

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Wed 11-Oct-17 11:20:50

All of it. I expect DH to do all of it Mon-Fri if he's working from home grin He's far more efficient than me. Whats more he can work from home, do the house work, cook a meal AND watch sport all at the same time. I think he might be a woman with all that multi tasking so efficiently done.

Viserion Wed 11-Oct-17 11:25:16

I work from home. Procrastinating today

I asked my manager his view on this a while back as I didn't want to take the piss. His view was that me emptying the dishwasher, hanging laundry etc was no different to the amount of time my office based colleagues spend chatting over coffee. I use the time saved in not commuting to do these tasks, or while the kettle boils. Your DH absolutely could/should be doing them. I don't hoover or clean bathrooms etc during the working day and I wouldn't expect anyone to be doing a full house clean alongside a day's work. I also do most of the food shopping, meal prep and cooking because I am home. It just makes sense this way.

On the rare occasions that DH works from home, he does the same. Tasks while the kettle boils, food prep etc. So, to me, your DH is being unfair and lazy here expecting you to pick up the lion's share. I bet he thinks he is doing you a favour when he helps with the cooking on the odd occasion.

WellTidy Wed 11-Oct-17 11:32:21

Are you both strict 9-5ers? Lots of people work more than those hours, whether they work from home or not. On the basis that you are (or that you each work very similar hours), then it comes down to how much non working time each of you has. If you have two hours less non-working time per day (due to your one hour each way commute), then he should definitely spend some of his 'extra' time doing housework/admin/whatever you both need. It wouldn't be fair for him to have ten hours more time than you every week and still for housework/admin/organising/whatever to be shared 50/50. He should be doing more imo.

Getoffthetableplease Wed 11-Oct-17 11:36:09

Husband works from home most days, does zilch on housework front but then he never really has. I chase after our crazy toddler during the day, and work evenings and weekends. I do housework if and when little one has a short nap or usually when the eldest is home from school whilst they play and I try to cook too.

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to ask him to do a few bits when he would usually still be in bed, and help clear up after dinner too. Being cook shouldn't auto dismiss you from clean up duty hmm.

Newtssuitcase Wed 11-Oct-17 11:36:34

I often work from home (but I'm my own boss). I generally put a load of washing on, load the dishwasher, clean down kitchen surfaces etc. On a very busy day though I won't touch a thing and it will all look exactly the same as it would as if I had left the house at the same time as DH and the DC.

Getoffthetableplease Wed 11-Oct-17 11:38:17

Just to add, whatever our work arrangements have been, it's always been me doing majority of everything. Even when he was made redundant and it was only me working etc. I know that's my bad too as I should have just refused. Has your partner always been this way?

HerOtherHalf Wed 11-Oct-17 11:42:36

He shouldn't be doing housework when he's meant to be working. However, your working day includes the essential 2 hour round trip commute so he has roughly that extra that could reasonably be argued he could use a significant portion of for household tasks. Whether he does it before work, after work or on his legitimate breaks would be up to him.

glow1984 Wed 11-Oct-17 11:42:40

I work from home and always do the dishes, laundry, and start dinner. DP and DS leave at half 7, so I usually start the housework from then until I begin work at 9. When I finish at 5, I finish up and start dinner. Everything else is usually split close to 50/50.

KatharinaRosalie Wed 11-Oct-17 11:49:55

More info needed, like how many hours does he work? Is the starting time set? If you work the same hours, plus you have 2 hour commute then it would be fair if he did 2 more hours of housework.

Roomster101 Wed 11-Oct-17 11:50:19

Assuming you don't have children and both have fulltime jobs, housework should be split 50:50 but when he does the housework is up to him. He may not have to commute but his job may be harder in other ways and overall he may have to work just as hard. As someone who works from home, it would really annoy me if DH expected me to do housework instead of working. During the working day, I either concentrate on my job or I have a break as I did when I was in the office. I don't see why I should do housework instead of chatting to colleagues or even commuting (which I would much prefer to housework) if I don't want to.

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