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Being stressed about MLM

(27 Posts)
RustyRoller Wed 11-Oct-17 10:30:03

My step MIL has a friend who is into MLM or pyramid scheme selling and she keeps telling me to go to their meetings to meet and socialise with people. When told first time, I told her I have seen what MLM is like and know how it works, and firmly refused to be involved. But MIL is refusing to believe it's MLM and keeps telling me to go to these things; when I refuse politely, she tells me off for being 'not open minded and rude' to refuse her friend's good intention.

I was recently made redundant and also heavily pregnant with first baby, so I know she thinks it might be an opportunity for me to earn some 'easy money' (the friend's words). My step MIL never had any children of own so she might also think I am stuck at home bored, but I am fairly busy with preparing for baby!

DH said she will talk to her, but I fear that will make her blow up. Gosh, I used to have a housemate into MLM and now this! When will it end?

2014newme Wed 11-Oct-17 10:36:13

Keep saying no. Ask her not to mention it again

pasturesgreen Wed 11-Oct-17 10:54:44

No, thank you,I've told you I'm really not interested. And repeat on a loop. Sooner or later she'll stop asking.

RustyRoller Wed 11-Oct-17 11:21:33

Yes, I wish she really stops... It really stresses me out and I feel even depressed confused

magpiemischief Wed 11-Oct-17 12:24:11

Added to that, whatever product it is, it disagrees with your skin/digestion - whatever. You don't want it and don't like it.

Getoffthetableplease Wed 11-Oct-17 12:26:48

'Carry on pitching to me and it's going to really compromise our relationship. Stop'

Somerford Wed 11-Oct-17 12:28:44

DH said she will talk to her, but I fear that will make her blow up

Let her blow up, OP. If she is being persistent with this there has to reach a point where you are more forceful with your refusal. If she finds that annoying or upsetting...well that's entirely her problem. You've already given her the courtesy of polite refusal and a clear explanation so if she pushes it to the point of eliciting a more assertive response she only has herself to blame.

It's odd that she would be emotionally invested like this. It's also odd that she would keep bringing it up. Perhaps her friend is putting pressure on her to help recruit new people.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen Wed 11-Oct-17 12:30:53

I wonder if she's promised this friend she'd bring you along and is now getting nagged herself? MLM is horrible.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Wed 11-Oct-17 12:31:30

If you want a diplomatic solution you could always say that with the baby on the way you won't be able to give it the time and attention it needs and you wouldn't want to let MIL's friend down.

YellowFlower201 Wed 11-Oct-17 12:34:39

Depressed over someone asking you to come to an MLM meeting you don't want to go to confused

Anyway just carry on doing what you're doing. She'll stop eventually.

Ellendegeneres Wed 11-Oct-17 13:02:44

She's pregnant and stressed yellow don't be so rude. You don't know what other stresses she has that are being made worse by this. People pushing mlm are relentless and to someone already suffering anxiety it can be too much

Motoko Wed 11-Oct-17 13:27:48

If she tells you you're being rude, throw it back to her. She's the one being rude to keep asking you, when you've already politely told her you're not interested, and your reasons.

Cantseethewoods Wed 11-Oct-17 13:31:49

Just spam her with 'MLMs are evil' articles on FB.

safariboot Wed 11-Oct-17 13:35:47

Ask MIL which she considers more important - her job or her family relationship with you? Because she's putting the latter at risk by banging on about the former.

Callamia Wed 11-Oct-17 13:37:41

Ask her why on earth you would want a full time job when you're about to have a baby. Most people stop working then, not choose to start something from scratch.

Also, you're entirely right - they're pernicious and empty schemes.

GladysKnight Wed 11-Oct-17 13:42:22

You could try "no MiL, like I've said before. It makes me wonder if your friend is hassling you about this? Is she OK? These are very nasty schemes unfortunately which is why I won't have anything to do with it, and DH and I wouldn't like to see you get sucked in."

specialsubject Wed 11-Oct-17 13:44:31

Tell her that when your friend has shown a clear profit for three years, you will risk your cash. Not until then.

DJBaggySmalls Wed 11-Oct-17 13:45:41

Let her blow up at your DH and let him deal with that. Its not your problem, you have enough on your plate to deal with.

Every time she mentions it to you just calmly repeat 'I already said no, stop being so rude and dont mention it again'.

Jingleberry Wed 11-Oct-17 13:52:25

I wouls ask her why she's not going to the meetings if it's such a good idea

RustyRoller Wed 11-Oct-17 15:59:56

Thanks all for the advice. My MIL is of a very strong character and things can make her blow up easily. She is usually very suspicious of everything and everyone but somehow very naive about this thing. We have family meals together every now and then and I am dreading it as she will most definitely bring it up. The reason I feel depressed is probably due to me being made redundant; it was difficult but I have been coping OK and tried to be positive about it as I hated the job and wanted to start anew anyway. MIL has some health problems so I am all alone looking after this baby, yet she prob expect me to get a job asap as she keeps telling me that's what her cleaner did.

PurpleStarInCashmereSky Wed 11-Oct-17 16:02:16

What is the product? People on here may have some resources you could send her.

DJBaggySmalls Wed 11-Oct-17 16:04:17

Keep her at an emotional arms length, put a glass wall between you and use the broken record technique when you talk to her.
What she wants or expects or says is her problem, not yours. Nothing she says is relevant to you or your life.

HerOtherHalf Wed 11-Oct-17 16:10:32

S7he is usually very suspicious of everything and everyone but somehow very naive about this thing.

Maybe try and appeal to her logic then. Ask her this. If she was the CEO of a company with a shit-hot range of life-changing products (as per the usual mlm claims) would she A. Get her products into the big national chain stores and supermarkets;
B. Recruit a network predominantly comprised of SAHPs, unemployed, PT workers etc most of whom have no business experience and get them to try and sell to their friends and family?

magpiemischief Wed 11-Oct-17 17:35:26

Anyway, you have to buy this stuff to sell on. You are in charge of what you spend your money on. If she wants to buy some of the stuff she can. When you are on your feet you can even offer to help sell it (as enthusiastically as you want) but why should you take the risk if the initial outlay? If it is that good she'd jump at the chance.

RustyRoller Thu 12-Oct-17 11:25:33

The problem is she is adamant this thing is not MLM as her trusty friend is doing it and I don't have to join them. But come on I know how they are persistent with new ppl! It's their source of income so why wouldn't they? I decided to be just firm and broken record and hope she gets the message. The products are some sort of essential oils and I do use them in only small drops here and there, but have absolutely no intention of using them in bottles after bottles.

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