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...to want a clear and consistent psych diagnosis?

(1 Post)
Tabsicle Wed 11-Oct-17 10:06:14

About 8 years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder. Since then I’ve been on medication, and have had a few ups and downs, and two hospitalisations but have been stable for the past two years.

In that time my diagnosis has shifted repeatedly between Type I and Type II bipolar. The issue seems to be that my ‘big’ episodes – the ones I’ve been hospitalised for and am not very functional with – are not happy, high manic episodes (I do have euphoric episodes, but they tend to be hypomanic and are a bit gentler – I am far less likely to lose insight for example) but are always mixed – angry, agitated, paranoid, self-destructive, scared. My most recent episode involved me spending a week begging my husband to hide all the knives in the house because the evil spirit that lived inside me was going to make me cut my chest open so he could get free.

In the past doctors seem to disagree whether this counts as agitated depression or dysphoric mania and the diagnosis kept shifting which bugs me. My most recent psychiatrist has taken the line that it’s just a label and it isn’t even a label that would change my treatment plan (I see pdoc and CPN regularly, take mood stabilizers and antipsychotics) and he doesn’t think it’s really a worthwhile discussion for us to have as to which label fits, but it’s really bothering me. I don’t know why, but I think it’s that I feel if I had a clear label I could understand what’s happening to me better, and could get a better handle on the condition and what it means for me. AIBU?

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