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AIBU?

Should I let my in laws take my son on holiday?

31 replies

kitscout · 10/10/2017 20:19

My Partner works away during the week and my in laws are going to stay nearby for a week. I work part time but have no leave left to go too - DP asked if they could take our son (20 months) with them for the week to see him.

I immediately said no as he will be working long days anyway, but honestly I just didn't want to be without him for a week!

My in laws are over bearing and DP won't get a look in with our son anyway. But now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable and /or selfish? Should I let them take him?

OP posts:

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eddielizzard · 10/10/2017 20:26

i wouldn't. perhaps an afternoon instead? say that he's never been away from you for long, so that's all you're happy with.

if the relationship between you were strong then it might be a different story.

furryelephant · 10/10/2017 20:29

Are you his primary carer? In my opinion a week is far too long away from you if you are.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 10/10/2017 20:31

He is so tiny, I wouldn’t separate a small child from his mother at that age intentionally. A week is a long time.

NapQueen · 10/10/2017 20:32

Not at under two.

Maybe at 5yo.

LeavesinAutumn · 10/10/2017 20:41

Op I just can't get my head round that anyone would want to take small child away for a week. Far too long and simply not necessary

LeavesinAutumn · 10/10/2017 20:41

Op I just can't get my head round that anyone would want to take small child away for a week. Far too long and simply not necessary

Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2017 20:50

No way. He is far too young for that in my opinion. Perhaps when he is 5 or 6 for a whole week away.

Marnie182 · 10/10/2017 21:10

No way!! He's still a baby and it would be very distressing for him to be away from you for so long, poor thing.
If they are overbearing just keep repeating no, no and no. Then tell them conversation is closed.
YANBU

HollyBollyBooBoo · 10/10/2017 21:12

Just far too young, your gut instinct is there for a reason so well done for listening to it. My DD was 7 before she I let her have a week with her grandparents although that was without either me or her Dad.

mogulfield · 10/10/2017 21:29

I would, but my son is very close with my in laws. They’ve a lovely relationship because they’ve spent quality one on one time together.

mogulfield · 10/10/2017 21:31

Oh and my fondest memories as a kid are with my grandparents (but that’s because my own parents were awful and another thread entirely)

Oysterbabe · 10/10/2017 21:34

I wouldn't either, he's still a baby.

Nanny0gg · 10/10/2017 21:37

I've spent a lot of time with my DGC as I've childminded most of them.

20 months is way too young. I wouldn't take any of them without parents at least until they were school-aged.

waterrat · 10/10/2017 21:38

blimey - why on earth would anyone take a 20 month old away from their mum. I had 2 nights away from my son when he was 7 months old and it was fine but I was so pleased to be back when I saw him again!

Don't do anything you don't feel comfrotable with.

Both my children would not enjoy that and they are 5 and 3 !!

smellybeanpole · 10/10/2017 21:39

If you're having doubts now. I think when your ds is away you will find it very hard.

Ttbb · 10/10/2017 21:41

Is he used to being with out you/with them for long periods of time? If not it could be quite traumatic for him.

starbug1 · 10/10/2017 21:42

They're doing it because they want to, not because it's best for him. IMO that's young to be a week away from his mum, especially when it's not wanted/needed.

Doramaybe · 10/10/2017 21:45

Big No from me at that age. Grandparents can mean so well, but I would not be comfortable with the arrangement.

Maybe when DC is a little older?

kitscout · 10/10/2017 21:49

Just wanted to add that he does have a good relationship with in laws, they have him once a week when I'm at work. but they don't always keep follow his routine - which is fine for once a week but think he'd struggle with it for a whole week.

Thanks for the replies - makes me feel a lot better about my decision!

OP posts:

PinkCrystal · 10/10/2017 22:00

No way far too young. Mine tried and I declined. Plenty of local trips.

nuttyknitter · 10/10/2017 22:00

I have a very close relationship with my DGD, and she has slept over at my house once a week since she was 18 months. However, even at the age of four, she would be very distressed to be away from her mum for a week.

abigailgabble · 10/10/2017 22:07

Not a chance would I agree to that long apart from my son!

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Theresamayscough · 10/10/2017 22:12

Holy crap!

I love my grandchildren dearly and have them overnight but a week!! At under 2???

Why the actual fuck would they want that much work and responsibility.

Fucking insane

Save them from themselves op and say no.

FizzyGreenWater · 10/10/2017 22:17

No way. He'd find it utterly distressing.

The fact they've even asked tells you all you need to know about whether their wants or his needs come first! They clearly aren't on his wavelength - really loving grandparents wouldn't be asking this, because they know it wouldn't actually be at all fun after day two. Not for anybody, once the novelty is worn off by the second night and he's howling for you!

Mittens1969 · 10/10/2017 22:18

I definitely wouldn’t have let my DDs be away for that long at that age. If you’re not happy about it then the answer is definitely no,

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