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To think its weird people use siblings as godparents

(95 Posts)
Gimmeareason Tue 10-Oct-17 15:02:07

I mean, they will already be the kid's uncle or aunt, so whats the point?

PinkHeart5914 Tue 10-Oct-17 15:04:50

Well I think unless one is religious it’s all a bit weird anyway tbh.

Shouldn’t the godparent be a good role model? And if that is the aunt or uncle what’s wrong with having them. Thing is friends do change and just becuase you and Sue are best buds now doesn’t mean you will be in a few years time, family you can’t change.

Hufflepuff719 Tue 10-Oct-17 15:05:32

To me, a godparent is the person who would care for the child if something happened to the parents. So, choosing a sibling highlights exactly who should care for the child in the event of a tragedy.

Nonky Tue 10-Oct-17 15:05:57

I chose a sibling due to my very strong bond with them and also I knew from previous experience that he would always be there for me and my child whereas good friends might not. i don't really know my own godparents. They were my parents best friends in their late twenties. 40 years later life changes and time mean they aren't.

Hufflepuff719 Tue 10-Oct-17 15:06:16

And as PinkHeart said- friends come and go.

Gimmeareason Tue 10-Oct-17 15:06:59

I thought godparents were the ones who would look after the kid if something happens to you so its good to extend it out from the family.

On a more realistic note though i would want my kids godparents to be different people to broaden my kids understanding of different walks of life etc. For them to have a different life infuence from outside the family if you get me.

Myrobalanna Tue 10-Oct-17 15:07:51

What Hufflepuff said. Not religious but DH's brother is in charge if we pop our clogs prematurely. It doesn't really have a name (nominated guardian?) so we jokingly call him 'The Godfather'.

MarmaladeIsMyJam Tue 10-Oct-17 15:07:55

Well isn't that the point? That they'll always be there? I haven't seen some of my children's Godparents for years, they were very good friends at the time though!

Nonky Tue 10-Oct-17 15:08:57

Then that's your own decision to make. Personally, I needed someone I knew I could rely on at all times. That for me was my brother and that decision was more important to me than having someone more 'different'.

MarthaArthur Tue 10-Oct-17 15:11:33

Your last point about if anything happens to you then its better to extend it out of the family makes no sense. If you died surely you would want your child to remin looked after by its aunts/uncles/family members. As another pp pointed out its pointless if you are not christian anyway. Its mearly someone who will be a good influence them in Gods teaching

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual Tue 10-Oct-17 15:12:57

I also chose siblings. Can never know, really, which friendships will last, and it’s an utter waste of a toke if those people aren’t in your life anymore. Dh hasn’t seen hide nor hair of his godparents for 30 years.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Tue 10-Oct-17 15:13:00

gimmeareason this is a myth. You can't will your children. You can express a desire that XYZ foster you children in the event of your untimely demise, but SS have input. You may very well make your wishes known but who knows whether your choice of godparent is suitable, or would even want to acquire your children years down the line after starting their own family/have retired/acquired a life limiting illness of their own.

Plus, 'god parents' are a religious cermony, not a legal entity. They have no basis in law.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual Tue 10-Oct-17 15:13:26

Role not toke!

Riversleep Tue 10-Oct-17 15:14:18

What do you mean? The godparent doesn't mean anything legal. They are there to guide the child in religious matters. Or more likely nowadays someone to stand up in church amd give the kids an extra present on their birthday.I doubt anyone would be godparent to their friends children of they thought they were entering into some sort of contract to look after them if the parents died. And even if that was the case, my Sibling is the requested guardian in my will. Not my friends. If want them brought up by family. Friends come and go. I haven't seen my g odparents in 20 years!

user1493413286 Tue 10-Oct-17 15:15:39

We purposefully chose friends as I felt that my DDS aunts already had a role in her life

OtterlyNutty Tue 10-Oct-17 15:16:51

My DN was christened recently and a few people I know thought it was strange I hadn't been asked to be a godparent.

I hadn't even thought thought about it.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Tue 10-Oct-17 15:17:05

God parent is a religious role,. It has no legal standing in English common or legilsative law (the Scots and Irish may have different take on it)

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 10-Oct-17 15:17:36

I agree OP, we didn't use siblings from the point of view that uncles and aunts will always be in their lives.

Godparents outside of the family gives them someone extra, and special particularly to them.

HipToBeSquare Tue 10-Oct-17 15:22:53

My dd's Godparents are for religious guidance, my DP are in our will as their guardian.

Also both Godmother's are also aunts. I think it's nicer to have family. But each to their own

bridgetreilly Tue 10-Oct-17 15:23:13

I thought godparents were the ones who would look after the kid if something happens to you so its good to extend it out from the family.

This is not true. If you want someone to be in that role you need to put it in your will. Being a godparent gives no legal status at all.

A godparent is a person who commits to praying for your child and helping them grow up as a Christian. So parents should choose whoever they think will do that best. And if you don't want your child to grow up as a Christian, they shouldn't be christened or have godparents at all.

LoverOfCake Tue 10-Oct-17 15:26:10

Godparents are just token people to be there at the christening really though aren't they? How many people can genuinely say that their godparents had any kind of influence in their lives?

NerrSnerr Tue 10-Oct-17 15:29:22

Godparents are there to give the child religious guidance. If you want someone to look after your children when you die put a note about it in your will and discuss it with them. I don't understand why non religious folk get their children christened. What's the point?

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Tue 10-Oct-17 15:30:23

This is not true. If you want someone to be in that role you need to put it in your will. Being a godparent gives no legal status at all.

Again you cannot will your children. They are not chattels to be divided up. I wish people would get past this urban myth.

NerrSnerr Tue 10-Oct-17 15:32:29

Sloe It's not legally binding in the will but people often put it as a note in the will so loved ones know formally what your wishes were. My deceased sister did this so it was clear what her wishes were.

drspouse Tue 10-Oct-17 15:34:08

I am my DN's godparent but it's very much a cultural thing where my SIL is from to do this and her DB is another godparent.
I suspect my DB chose me partly for this reason and also because he tends to fall out with people and assumed I'd be around and involved in DN's life/friends with him and SIL forever. Funny that I also have fallen out with him (though I am still keen to be in DN's life but she's old enough now that it doesn't have to involve DB, at least, it doesn't have to involve him visiting me!).

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