Save the date

[Dippysnowoman]

Aibu in thinking that a "Save the date" implies you will be receiving an invitation to the whole wedding and not just the evening do??

[PodgeBod]

I think it can mean either really, that's why it's useful before guest lists are finalised.

[TobleroneBoo]

I suppose people can take it either way, but I've only given save the dates to my day guests

[araiwa]

Either

[SleepingInYourFlowerbed]

I did 'Save the Date' to day guests and 'Save the Evening' to evening guests.

[Dippysnowoman]

Mmm... .I always thought it was for the whole celebration but seems I may be wrong.
We've had 2 for the same day (posted prev as me and dp were going to one each.. his close friend and mine my friends) now seems mine might only be evening.

[strawberrygate]

I don't understand std cards. if you're going to the effort of printing them off, why not just include the time and venue ( ie. an invite?)

[ottersHateFeminists]

I ignore and bin them on principle.

They're ridiculous, unnecessary and a real waste of paper and ink. The fridge magnet ones are worse. Why the fuck would I want to see some inanely-grinning couple on my fridge for a year or so? I pull the magnets off the fronts and use them to pin important stuff to the fridge like party invitations and shopping lists.

[Fruitcorner123]

It should be just for the full day. Why would anyone be so arrogant as to assume you would save a date months in advance for an evening party. If it's a full wedding of a close friend/family member you might be prepared to rearrange your holiday, take leave from work etc so notice is a good thing. If it's a Saturday night party you are not going to rearrange your family holiday for it you will go if you can.

That's how I see it anyway and would never send save a date for an evening reception.

[heateallthebuns]

I've had a save the date before, followed by no invite to anything!!!

[Dippysnowoman]

I totally agree!! That's why I'm now a bit 🤔

[greendale17]

ottersHateFeminists

“I ignore and bin them on principle”.

I am surprised you even get Save the Date cards with an attitude like that.

[FindTheLightSwitchDarren]

@heateallthebuns

Someone I knew did that! Fucking Groomzilla situation (his wife is lovely - he's a wanker). I got a save the date and then evening invite from them. Some other friends got the save the date and then nothing.

The reception was on the other side of the country, I was heavily pregnant, couldn't drive and my DH wasn't invited, so I declined. Was followed by an arsey text from groomzilla. I'm still about it now and this was years ago.

[strawberrygate]

But what's the point of them? Genuine question, why not put the venue and time on them?Why do you need to send out 2 lots of cards?

[MrsRogerWaters]

Don’t get them either.
It’s a prelude to an actual invitation.
A little narcissistic.

[PodgeBod]

I'm probably wrong about them being for either. The whole point of STD cards is lost on me so I thought it was for working out who was all day or just evening. Otherwise what are they actually for?

[chipscheeseandgravy]

I’ve had one before and it was just the night do. Ironically I was invited to the hen do along with 5 other people, yet I was downgraded to evening guest .

[ottersHateFeminists]

@greendale17

What should I do, keep them in the safe and turn down any invitation in the hope I'll be lucky enough to get an actual invite.

They're a waste of time. I can't think of a single good reason for them. Can you?

Send invites. It's all that's needed.

[strawberrygate]

come on people who have sent these.. What is the actual point of them?

[chipscheeseandgravy]

Having said that my actual invite also didn’t say if my partner and child were invited. I just guessed and brought my partner and hoped for the best 😂

[VladmirsPoutine]

I suppose it could mean either. As you'd still need to 'Save the date' in either case.
That said, this 'only evening guest' thing is only something I've come across on MN - I'd never imagine not inviting someone to my entire day. Why? And I certainly would never attend as an only-evening guest. Unless the friend in question had eloped or some such and wanted to have a piss-up after to celebrate. It's just so ridiculous.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

They are supposed to be for the whole event and as invitations are "traditionally" only sent out 6 weeks before the wedding in this day and age it is to forewarn people they'd like to be there that they should indeed save that "whole date".

[RiversrunWoodville]

There's fridge magnet ones

[strawberrygate]

all the beststill doesn't explain why you need to send out 2 invites? I don't think many people would be upset that they received an invite further than the traditional 6 weeks before the wedding?

[McTufty]

I am not a huge fan of save the dates (we just told close friends and family the date) but if you’re going to do them, send them only to day guests. I agree to send a save the date and then give someone an evening invitation is rude.

[PinkHeart5914]

Does anyone really bother with these now? No point to them imo, just a waste of paper