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To feel uneasy and question my husband about this

(44 Posts)
Doseydoe Tue 10-Oct-17 13:50:25

Both me and my husband are on Facebook. We have separate accounts and I usually use my phone and him the iPad but on my phone for some reason it has linked our accounts and all you need to do is click on the profile picture to get on and it doesn't require a password (it does on the iPad). So a couple of weeks back I clicked on to Facebook but accidentally clicked on to my husband's and there was a friend request. I'm not nosey or snoop usually but she clicked on expecting to see someone I knew and it was a girl all dressed in suspenders and corset bent over a vanity unit. Now I no my husband watches porn occasionally and absolutely have no problem with this but getting friend requests from "real" women is another thing.

I didn't go mad and decided to just ask my husband about it. He made it into a joke at first and laughed it off but the more i probed he the more he got into a strop and kind of stormed off. To be honest I didn't think much more of it as my husband is an honest person usually and knows he can tell me anything but then it's happened again today. Same thing, a friend request from some young girl. This time there were two links on her page which I clicked on. One was a porn site and the other a chat site advertising girls. Again I've asked my husband about it and he's just laughed it off saying he's asked his mates at work and they've had the same. Like I said I don't mind him watching a bit of porn here and there but this makes me uneasy.

Our own sex life isn't great at the minute as he's always working and I'm always shattered but we've gone long periods before and always been fine. We've been together years still make each other laugh, are very loving towards each other etc and previously if you asked me if I trust him I'd say 100% so I don't like doubting him. I mean as far as I'm aware people don't just friend request random people. I've been on Facebook for years and the only random requests I've had are from people promoting things like juice plus and Avon and have never had anything like this. I suppose I'm just wondering if my husband has just had a random request and there's nothing untoward or has he signed up to some site and somehow his Facebook has been linked. Any advice?

LisaMed1 Tue 10-Oct-17 13:53:48

I get requests like this - on the church facebook page I run.

I wouldn't worry if there are no other signs

Littlefrogletx Tue 10-Oct-17 13:57:13

Men do get random requests like this just as women get random dick pics.
I'm not saying this is the case here but its a possibility.
Has he accepted the requests or any of these can girl type profiles on his friend list?

puddingpen Tue 10-Oct-17 13:58:23

I doubt these are 'real women'. I think they are probably bots targetting his demographic to promote the sites etc.

Oliversmumsarmy Tue 10-Oct-17 13:59:22

I too get requests like this. Usually some chancer hoping to find someone really desperate.

Pigface1 Tue 10-Oct-17 13:59:23

I wouldn't be too worried about this - chances are they aren't real women. There are loads of spam accounts on sites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. They're just operated by spambots.

www.itworld.com/article/2832601/security/the-fake-factor--seven-warning-signs-that-facebook-account-is-bogus.html

didnthappeninmyday Tue 10-Oct-17 13:59:36

He might have commented or liked a photo or video and these woman are sending friend requests to everyone who’s reacted to the post.

I’m on some vegan groups and some political groups and get friend requests from random people in these groups.

I wouldn’t be concerned, if it said these women had accepted his friend requests then that would be different.

iklboo Tue 10-Oct-17 14:00:04

Agree. I'm a target for 'hot single Muslim ladies' myself - and I'm female and married with a son.

HirplesWithHaggis Tue 10-Oct-17 14:00:08

I've had a couple of such requests, I'm a non-porn watcher in my mid fifties. I don't think you need to worry if there's only this.

user1471517900 Tue 10-Oct-17 14:00:43

It's spam. Now and again I get random requests. Simple Decline and report to Facebook saying it's spam.

SolemnlySwear2010 Tue 10-Oct-17 14:00:44

I get random friend requests - have deleted 6 of them in the past few weeks.

No idea how they find me as there are no mutual friends etc. I wouldn't worry too much if there are no other signs

Doseydoe Tue 10-Oct-17 14:01:07

No he's not accepted any as far as I'm aware. I messaged the first girl from his account asking who she was and if "I" knew her. She messaged back but my husband got to the message when I was asleep and he deleted it. Now is that was me I'd show my other half the message if anything just to prove I didn't no this person but he just deleted it.

YouMakeMeFeelLikeDancing Tue 10-Oct-17 14:01:43

I get these all the time. And I'm female. They usually get their profiles deleted before long. Don't worry about it, I know a lot of women the same as me (into pin-up/burlesque etc) get a lot of spam. And that's all it is. Spam

Scoobydoobydont Tue 10-Oct-17 14:03:37

I get these as well. I think everyone does. It’s why there is general advice not to click the links or accept requests from people you don’t know.

I’d be more concerned about having clicked the link than that my husband was up to anything to be honest.

Doseydoe Tue 10-Oct-17 14:04:55

I used my old and knackered phone that I'm about to recycle to open the link just in case and clicked off as soon as I knew what it was.

OnionKnight Tue 10-Oct-17 14:06:50

I get several requests a week from bots, you can tell they are bots straight away because the grammar is awful and they usually have no activity on their timelines.

Doseydoe Tue 10-Oct-17 14:07:51

Well this has put me at ease thank you. Yeah both girls didn't have anything on their pages and only a couple of friends.

Storminateapot Tue 10-Oct-17 14:09:49

My husband gets requests like this from randoms every so often, he always laughs & shows me. I wouldn't worry about it.

ottersHateFeminists Tue 10-Oct-17 14:10:43

As others said, are you sure she's real? \

I got one of these last week.

Stop logging in and checking his facebook!

People get friend requests from strangers, I get tonnes from foreign male profiles and haven't a clue where they find me, there must be something, I'd guess bots tracking after visiting,liking pages etc.

Pannnn Tue 10-Oct-17 14:16:12

Bloke here. I get invites to marry Russian brides and to join local hook up sites advertised by women of significant boobage.
I don't do either.

Pannnn Tue 10-Oct-17 14:16:14

Bloke here. I get invites to marry Russian brides and to join local hook up sites advertised by women of significant boobage.
I don't do either.

CherriesInTheSnow Tue 10-Oct-17 14:25:41

They are bots, they are everywhere now, they come up as facebook friend suggestions on profiles fitting the demographic and even try chatting on Xbox - it's creepy as hell!

The only thing is his reaction is kind of weird. I was dozing while DH was playing a game on Xbox the other week and he showed me this weird message of a girl trying to chat him up and then say that he just needed to enter his account details to watch her on webcam... He just replied "That's okay thanks, I'm just sitting here rubbing my heavily pregnant wife's back.." and she stopped messaging. They're just scams or using social media to try and target their demo, I'm sure.

OnionKnight Tue 10-Oct-17 14:28:44

Oh god yeah I get bots messaging me on PSN, they can hold some semblance of conversation too.

Justaboy Tue 10-Oct-17 14:34:44

Farcebook - root cause of all evil;(

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