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My neighbour and her headboard...

(29 Posts)
99balloonsandproblems Tue 10-Oct-17 12:52:49

My neighbour (terraced houses) has (I think) started seeing somebody. She's a single mum, middle aged, I'm pleased for her. Our relationship is cordial - we can say hello on the street and I have her mobile number but never socialised or anything.

The issue is she is (I think) started having sex late every single night. The sound is a squeaking mattress and a thumping headboard, along the wall where our bed sits. It lasts about fifteen minutes. I can't think what else it could be.

It varies from between 23:30 to 01:30 (last night) and it is loud enough to wake me up.

I don't know what to do about it. I'm losing sleep but I cringe at the thought of saying anything. I floated the idea of a concerned text about hearing her washing machine/boiler/pipe noises late at night which would let her know I can hear her but my DP thinks this is a mental course of action and I have to say I agree.

I've started dreading going to bed, though. Any suggestions?

LaurieFairyCake Tue 10-Oct-17 12:55:08

I’d move rooms/move the bed. Don’t forget she can hear you fucking too wink

99balloonsandproblems Tue 10-Oct-17 12:55:46

Our headboard doesn’t slam into the wall!

moreismore Tue 10-Oct-17 12:55:52

You could say you've put a thing in your bedroom and can she hear it as your aware the walls are quite thin and don't want to disturb her? Hopefully she'll join the dots...

Anatidae Tue 10-Oct-17 12:56:18

You need to make an innocuous but audible noise at the time/just before/just after. Not anything aggressive like knocking on the walls, just a sound that’s daily living that she can hear.
Your goal is to spark that ‘shit I can hear them so they can hear me’ realisation.

So hairdryer, trip on the stairs and yell for dh, etc etc.

That can then be followed up if you see her with ‘god I’m so sorry if you heard me yelling last night, I tripped up and I thought I’d broken my ankle, so sorry, blah blah.’

moreismore Tue 10-Oct-17 12:56:25

By thing I meant tv. Obviously grin

Optimist1 Tue 10-Oct-17 12:56:41

When the headboard starts knocking, do a very loud "ahem!" (cough-type noise) and see if it stops. Presumably if the walls are thin enough they should hear it? Repeat until they realise the bed needs to be shifted a bit.

shakingmyhead1 Tue 10-Oct-17 13:01:19

every time she finishes... clap CLAP LOUDLY! wink

Ifailed Tue 10-Oct-17 13:05:25

next time she starts, play "Je t'aime… moi non plus" nice and loud.

Brahms3rdracket Tue 10-Oct-17 13:05:32

Loud applause and shout the score you've given the night's performance after they've finished should do the job (unless they're exhibitionists, in which case that may encourage them) grin

99balloonsandproblems Tue 10-Oct-17 13:09:26

Another issue is that my boyfriend sleeps early (ten-ish) and deeply. I already irritate him by being a night owl/noisy so difficult to bang on the wall, etc, when it starts up

BlueUggs Tue 10-Oct-17 13:10:44

Post 2 large sponges (the thick ones) through her door with a note to say “please put these between your headboard and the wall.” Sorted.

PeaPodPopper Tue 10-Oct-17 13:11:44

Maybe offer her a pillow to put between the headboard and the wall!

FindoGask Tue 10-Oct-17 13:24:01

I can't imagine feeling able to say anything at all, in this scenario. It's not like she's screaming her head off. I would buy earplugs and assume it won't be forever.

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 10-Oct-17 13:24:49

Well either say/do something or put up with it! That's all OP...

tarheelbaby Tue 10-Oct-17 13:25:54

You say you have her mobile no. If she wakes you, can you text her, saying (as a concerned neighbour, of course) that you heard noises coming from her place and ask if she's ok?

In all seriousness, perhaps you could ask her if she's been hanging pictures at night?

IvorHughJars Tue 10-Oct-17 13:26:35

I used to clap. So did she blushgrin

fairyofallthings Tue 10-Oct-17 13:26:43

Buy her a game of scrabble for 'those late nights when you can't sleep'

IvorHughJars Tue 10-Oct-17 13:26:45

I used to clap. So did she blushgrin

LizzieMacQueen Tue 10-Oct-17 13:27:25

Shout to your DP as they begin. 'Hurry up darling. It's starting'.

NachoAddict Tue 10-Oct-17 13:30:16

Pop a note through the door saying could she please put a pillow behind the head board.

Move your bed to the other side of the room.

Buy ear plugs.

Wait it out, the honeymoon phase of nightly bonking will wear off.

TheNaze73 Tue 10-Oct-17 13:32:07

Fair play to her. I think you need to clap too

guilty100 Tue 10-Oct-17 13:34:01

I would play it utterly naive: 'I've noticed a banging noise coming through the wall at varying times late at night. It goes on for about 15 minutes. Could your pipes need looking at?" Play it dead straight and don't show a hint of embarrassment.

Orchardgreen Tue 10-Oct-17 13:39:10

I used to have an upstairs neighbour like that. She was a screamer. I happened to have her phone number, so rang it during their activities.
They stopped, I heard footsteps go to answer it, I hung up the phone.
Footsteps back to bed. Then they started up again!

Majormanner Tue 10-Oct-17 13:40:40

What Lizzie said!

And when it really gets going - give a running comentary

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