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To think my mum wants me to be unhappy?

(9 Posts)
TeaisLife Tue 10-Oct-17 10:14:38

I've came to realise she loves it when me and my partner fall out, and will say things like oh Steve doesn't look very happy is everything ok? When we are fine. She will try and get me "in trouble" with him by coming out with stuff like "Did those clothes you order come" thinking he'd get funny about me ordering stuff which he couldn't care less about.

She try's to belittle me and embarrass me in front of him, makes digs about my appearance and looks at him grinning. 

We booked a weekend away together and my dad mentioned how we were going away again, she says "I know, I don't know who she thinks she is, going on these holidays and earning all this money she needs to remember where she came from!" grin

I'm beginning to wander if it's jealously, I have a hardworking, loyal partner, we both have good jobs and can afford holidays abroad. Whereas she's on benefits, single and has been treated like crap by men! 

I would be happy for my daughter and would never make digs about her appearance! I don't understand why/how she can be like itv

MistressDeeCee Tue 10-Oct-17 10:32:27

I read the 1st 3 lines and thought "oh my God she's talking about my mum". Yes she's jealous and doesn't want you to be happy. My mum did all this and much more..got to a point where she started coming round with meals and it was "oh Dee can't cook this/ doesn't know this food" (I'm a better cook than my mum tho). For all this and various other reasons I gradually cut down contact. & today here we are - no contact. It was hard to do but being brutally honest I don't miss her not being in my life. At all. I thought I would. But it was too wearisome and I'm glad not to hear her voice, her bitching belittling and scorning. Don't ever give your mum the chance to come between you and your man, or be too involved in your life in nosey fashion will you? Your mum is overstepping the mark...nip it in the bud, you'll know best how you want to resolve this

TeaisLife Tue 10-Oct-17 12:25:48

Thank you, definitely going to cut down contact and not tell her my business! Now I'm a mum myself I find it really strange how she could do and say the things she does! Just not right.

Inthesunlight Tue 10-Oct-17 12:30:18

Yep toxic mother on your hands. Tell her as little about your life as possible.

Inthesunlight Tue 10-Oct-17 12:31:21

The positive our of it you know you will never be like that with your dc. That will make you smile.

livefornaps Tue 10-Oct-17 12:32:00

Tell her that she's embarrassing herself and that her behaviour is not what people would expect from a mum. She's trying to shame you; shame her!

"Mum. You're embarrassing yourself"
"That's not very mum-like, is it?"

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Tue 10-Oct-17 12:34:31

Yes she's jealous. It's quite sad when you think about it.

Tell her as little about your life as possible.

I too wish I had a mother who was supportive and who I could confide it. It sucks doesn't it .

TeaisLife Tue 10-Oct-17 20:23:30

@livefornaps You are so right! All she does is message ransoms and think every man wants her! It is embarrassing esp when she's messaging men my age or who I know

TeaisLife Tue 10-Oct-17 20:25:25

She once said she thinks my ex was stalking her on fb (her way of trying to say he fancies her) of course he wasn't, but she liked every pic he uploaded hmm

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