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To sometimes struggle to interpret people?

(13 Posts)
Noisettetrendz Tue 10-Oct-17 00:45:20

I have fairly good social skills but sometimes really struggle with this! Anyone know what I mean?

GetOutOfMYGarden Tue 10-Oct-17 01:03:21

What do you mean, OP?

Generally I'm able to get a good read on people. Sometimes there's certain people I just can't read though, and I think that's normal.

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 10-Oct-17 02:16:43

Either you have fairly good social skills or you struggle. Which is it?

Noisettetrendz Tue 10-Oct-17 09:00:18

I don't think they're mutually exclusive are they Mrs?

Sometimes with humour I struggle to read exactly what people mean - I think it's a certain strain of dry humour?

Neverknowing Tue 10-Oct-17 09:11:14

I think everyone gets this!
I used to get it all with teachers at school, they'd pretend to be angry and it was just a joke but it'd really upset me because I didn't get it !

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 10-Oct-17 09:11:29

Well to be fair OP, your first post was very vague! Now you've mentioned dry humour, then it's a lot more clear.

My husband struggled with it too. He's Aussie and when he first came to visit me at home in Manchester, he thought everyone was rude. It took him YEARS to fully understand the "mean" jokes and comments...he does now.

Sunnysidegold Tue 10-Oct-17 09:25:45

My mil has a very dry sense of humour and if I'm not in a great frame of mind I can take comments very personally. I sometimes take a throwaway comment and ruminate over it but I suffer from anxiety and this is a big part of it.

londonrach Tue 10-Oct-17 09:28:39

I agree. Some people are vvv difficult to read especially if they have a dry humour. Im learning as dh has this but its like learning a huge new language. My family more simple re reading a spade is a spade.

Subtlecheese Tue 10-Oct-17 09:28:55

But mean jokes are entirely mean. They're not nice. Just insults with icing on.

MinervaSaidThar Tue 10-Oct-17 09:31:06

I think people definitely misinterpret me a lot. Jokes/comments that are acceptable from others are not acceptable from me.

FeralBeryl Tue 10-Oct-17 09:38:35

I think a lot of it can be location.
DH is furrin as in from down south. He has been in the north for many years but still misses lots of sarcasm, which is commonplace here.
He also doesn't find that brand of humour particularly funny either so it's a double whammy for the poor thing wink
Even I find it exhausting tonne in the company of people who are constantly having 'banter' being rude

MrsOverTheRoad Tue 10-Oct-17 12:37:39

I don't think mean jokes are "just being rude". It's complex but where I'm from, if someone lightly takes the piss out of you, it shows they like you and accept you!

If they're polite all the time then you think "Oh...she doesn't think much of me!"

Myrobalanna Tue 10-Oct-17 12:52:04

That 'lightly taking the piss' kind of humour really, really doesn't translate to some people though. I don't like it but I accept it's a social norm for some people, even if it's honestly a bit exhausting to be around. My MIL can't cope with it at all to the extent that she refuses to speak to people who do it. (I think she overreacts tbh.)

I think can stop people from trying to be their 'best selves' too - if all you do is pisstaking, you need never be skilled at listening, making people feel valued, weighing up both sides, forming a good argument. Not to say that you can't do those things, but you needn't.

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