flatmates girlfriend pretty much lives here

[lumleyy]

I live with my DP, we both pay for rent and bills, not long ago a new flatmate moved in( so just 3 of us in a 2 bed flat ) and he met a girl who all of a sudden is always here, stays 4/5 nights a week, is rude, noisy, often having loud arguments and both are not at all respectful of other people living here. AIBU to be annoyed about this? she doesn’t pay any rent but has stayed here for about 70% of the time he’s lived here. when i brought it up was told she is here as a guest and she shouldn’t pay rent and there’s no problem with it.

[MrTrebus]

Do you each rent a room? Whose name is the tenancy in?

[MaidOfStars]

What proportion of bills does he pay?

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

Trouble is, you don't want her as a tenant! I think it's time for you and your DP to move out - it's not working living with that guy.

[lumleyy]

he pays 1/3 of bills

[Creampastry]

Then ask him to pay 1/2 of bills! Cheeky git!

[lumleyy]

id understand her “ being a guest “ if she was there once or twice a week but she’s constantly here, gives me dirty looks when she sees me, has used my toothbrush before ( which she denies but i know she did ), has used my towel etc

[sooperdooper]

Ugh I had this with an old flat mate once, it's not on

Trouble is if they start paying 50% you're stuck with her permanently! Time to find a place for just you & DP?

[Namechangetempissue]

Not acceptable at all. I would sit down with flatmate and say that either gf starts contributing to the bills or that it would be better to make the split and go your separate ways (i.e. you and your partner give notice or he does). No way would I put up with dirty looks and some random person using my personal items (yack at the toothbrush).

[lumleyy]

I’m saving to move but it’s looking like I won’t be able to for another 3/4 months and it’s really stressing me out having her here constantly, I don’t get on with him as it is or agree with his lifestyle habits but the girlfriend pretty much living here is driving me mad. He refuses to talk about it and says she’s a guest so shouldn’t pay

[MaidOfStars]

How did you all come to be living together? Who is on tenancy?

[BeachyKeen]

I would say that as he pays 1/3 expense, he should only have her over , at maximum, 1/3 of the time

[lumleyy]

previous flatmate was DPs mate, he moved out and got this guy in who is a friend of a friend. I’ve already said to him that 2 nights a week is reasonable or if they want to live together they can go and find a flat for them to live in. Tenancy is in DPs name.

[Namechangetempissue]

What is on the tenancy agreement regarding people staying?

[MaidOfStars]

Is your DP subletting?

[lumleyy]

the flatmate is just second on the tenancy. Contract says people can’t live there without him knowing but i think that means 24/7 and not 5 nights a week. Just not sure what to do as the flatmate is not willing to compromise at all

[gamerchick]

We’ll surely it’s an easy fix then? Give th flatmate notice and he can take his girlfriend with him. Then set out firm rules about guests for the next one.

[MaidOfStars]

Where are you on the tenancy?

[Okkitokkiunga]

Simple - you're your DP's guest and as such will no longer be contributing so his share goes up to 50%

[2littlemoos]

YES to PP!

[lumleyy]

update: she’s now got her own keys to flat and comes in and out when he’s not here

[Notcontent]

So she is actually living there really...

[PlipPlopPlip]

How is the rent split between the three of you?

[RosiePosieRosie]

I think after a couple of months your DP should say it’s not on and she should contribute or he should pay half.

[IsThisTheRealYou]

That's really annoying. Might the landlord help?

[Nandoshoes]

Ergh.

Can you compare the bills from before girlfriend and after girlfriend so you can show him it's causing you financial disadvantage. ?

This is so annoying I would be fuming.