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flatmates girlfriend pretty much lives here

(45 Posts)
lumleyy Mon 09-Oct-17 18:17:10

I live with my DP, we both pay for rent and bills, not long ago a new flatmate moved in( so just 3 of us in a 2 bed flat ) and he met a girl who all of a sudden is always here, stays 4/5 nights a week, is rude, noisy, often having loud arguments and both are not at all respectful of other people living here. AIBU to be annoyed about this? she doesn’t pay any rent but has stayed here for about 70% of the time he’s lived here. when i brought it up was told she is here as a guest and she shouldn’t pay rent and there’s no problem with it. hmm

MrTrebus Mon 09-Oct-17 18:18:08

Do you each rent a room? Whose name is the tenancy in?

MaidOfStars Mon 09-Oct-17 18:18:25

What proportion of bills does he pay?

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 09-Oct-17 18:19:28

Trouble is, you don't want her as a tenant! I think it's time for you and your DP to move out - it's not working living with that guy.

lumleyy Mon 09-Oct-17 18:19:37

he pays 1/3 of bills

Creampastry Mon 09-Oct-17 18:27:33

Then ask him to pay 1/2 of bills! Cheeky git!

lumleyy Mon 09-Oct-17 18:30:26

id understand her “ being a guest “ if she was there once or twice a week but she’s constantly here, gives me dirty looks when she sees me, has used my toothbrush before ( which she denies but i know she did ), has used my towel etc

sooperdooper Mon 09-Oct-17 18:30:30

Ugh I had this with an old flat mate once, it's not on

Trouble is if they start paying 50% you're stuck with her permanently! Time to find a place for just you & DP?

Namechangetempissue Mon 09-Oct-17 18:35:46

Not acceptable at all. I would sit down with flatmate and say that either gf starts contributing to the bills or that it would be better to make the split and go your separate ways (i.e. you and your partner give notice or he does). No way would I put up with dirty looks and some random person using my personal items (yack at the toothbrush).

lumleyy Mon 09-Oct-17 18:46:08

I’m saving to move but it’s looking like I won’t be able to for another 3/4 months and it’s really stressing me out having her here constantly, I don’t get on with him as it is or agree with his lifestyle habits but the girlfriend pretty much living here is driving me mad. He refuses to talk about it and says she’s a guest so shouldn’t pay

MaidOfStars Mon 09-Oct-17 18:48:54

How did you all come to be living together? Who is on tenancy?

BeachyKeen Mon 09-Oct-17 18:51:29

I would say that as he pays 1/3 expense, he should only have her over , at maximum, 1/3 of the time

lumleyy Mon 09-Oct-17 18:54:21

previous flatmate was DPs mate, he moved out and got this guy in who is a friend of a friend. I’ve already said to him that 2 nights a week is reasonable or if they want to live together they can go and find a flat for them to live in. Tenancy is in DPs name.

Namechangetempissue Mon 09-Oct-17 18:59:34

What is on the tenancy agreement regarding people staying?

MaidOfStars Mon 09-Oct-17 19:01:01

Is your DP subletting?

lumleyy Mon 09-Oct-17 19:03:43

the flatmate is just second on the tenancy. Contract says people can’t live there without him knowing but i think that means 24/7 and not 5 nights a week. Just not sure what to do as the flatmate is not willing to compromise at all

gamerchick Mon 09-Oct-17 19:06:49

We’ll surely it’s an easy fix then? Give th flatmate notice and he can take his girlfriend with him. Then set out firm rules about guests for the next one.

MaidOfStars Mon 09-Oct-17 19:07:08

Where are you on the tenancy?

Okkitokkiunga Mon 09-Oct-17 19:09:34

Simple - you're your DP's guest and as such will no longer be contributing so his share goes up to 50% grin

2littlemoos Mon 09-Oct-17 19:20:21

YES to PP!

lumleyy Mon 16-Oct-17 22:18:48

update: she’s now got her own keys to flat and comes in and out when he’s not here

Notcontent Mon 16-Oct-17 22:24:19

So she is actually living there really...

PlipPlopPlip Mon 16-Oct-17 22:25:16

How is the rent split between the three of you?

RosiePosieRosie Mon 16-Oct-17 22:31:23

I think after a couple of months your DP should say it’s not on and she should contribute or he should pay half.

IsThisTheRealYou Mon 16-Oct-17 22:32:38

That's really annoying. Might the landlord help?

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