Christmas money or vouchers?

[timeforbedsleepyhead80]

My DM asked his morning what DD (18m) would like for Xmas. DD is absolutely over-run with toys, I'm struggling to store all the ones we have (god bless Ikea Kallax units!) She's also already got garden toys (swing, slide etc) and we're buying her a toy kitchen for her present from us. She really doesn't need anything.

I said she was welcome to buy whatever she liked but please no more toys unless they are small things like books, stickers, colouring things etc. I did also say that as we buy most of DDs clothes from supermarkets (were on one income) that around Xmas as she'll be moving into the next size clothes I'll be looking to get her a few treat-y outfits. Nothing extravagant. So some vouchers for places like Next, John Lewis, M&P etc would be great as I could get her all few nice bits from there in the NY sales.

DM got all huffy and said she wouldn't give vouchers for me to clothe her. Said she'd just give money to be out in DDs bank account but that it wasn't to be used to buy clothes. Also that she would choose some clothes for DD herself.

Problem is (and I wouldn't say it because I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings) but DM buys clothes that are completely impractical and that DD never wears. It's such a waste. Flouncy dresses and the like - she mostly wears trousers and tops, comfy and practical things that wash easily.

I wouldn't use Xmas money to buy clothes, it would go in her account. We never touch money that's given to her, it just gets banked. But my DM made me feel completely out of order by suggesting vouchers for some nice outfits! Is it?

[Floralnomad]

Sorry but I actually agree with your mother , her giving you vouchers for clothes is not a Christmas present for your dd . At 18m she doesn't care what she wears and granny wants to buy her something she will enjoy . Does your mum never just buy her clothes anyway during the year ?

[safariboot]

I can't help with your family argument, but considering how many big-name companies have gone bust in recent years (Toys-R-Us could be the next), buying gift cards is foolish.

[BiddyPop]

Clothes are ALWAYS a good present for small DCs, but they do need to be wearable and practical.

Presents do NOT always need to be toys - if clothes are what she needs, great.

She could buy other "nice" things like a selection of bedtime story books or some Mr Men or other books that DD will find useful to have someone read them to her or activity ones to play with.

She could buy "useful" but nice things like crockery/cutlery that will be used daily.

You could bank the money and not spend it on clothes, but use it later on for something useful.

But absolutely, money to help get things like nice but practical tracksuits, jeans, jumpers etc would be great.

Would she accept the notion of getting something like a good set of waterproofs and wellies to be able to have lots of fun on rainy days outdoors?

Would she contemplate a membership to somewhere that you would enjoy?

Or buying craft things that will get used up over the rainy cold winter time? Paint, paper, lollipop sticks, crayons....that sort of thing?

[Witsender]

I kind of see her point, an 18 month old sees no benefit to fancy outfits so her present shouldn't be vouchers for them really. Money for a bank account is fine.

[Catwithglasses]

How about asking for something specific but limiting, like wellies or hat/scarf? So DM gets to choose but can't get something impractical.

What about a season ticket for a local attraction? That's what we've had GPs pay for as it's a 'luxury' that can come in really handy.

[timeforbedsleepyhead80]

Yes, she does buy her clothes sometimes, but honestly 50% of them she never wears. I've said so many times (nicely) that we don't dress her in stiff formal dresses, frilly fussy things etc as they mostly aren't comfy, don't wash easily, or are just impractical for a rampaging toddler. She generally wears cotton trousers, those soft baby jeans, tops, jumpers, or if she's wearing dresses they tend to be like thick soft cotton dresses and tights now it's colder. Mum would have her trussed up like a turkey half the time with bows in her hair (which would last ten second anyway even if they were to my taste) if she had her way.

I just thought I was being practical. She's welcome to buy her things she'll enjoy like little games, colouring books etc but I really can't store any more toys and really DD has more than she can play with already! I've already had to say no to a huge ball pit with tunnels attached. 'It can go in your sitting room!' No, it can't! Lovely idea, but I've really got nowhere to put it.

[Gimmeareason]

Your kid has a bank account and too many toys.

Wow.

[timeforbedsleepyhead80]

The membership idea is a good call. We already have a family NT membership, but there are a few English Heritage sites locally. I will suggest it but I doubt she'll go for it because I suspect she'll think it's more for the benefit of me and OH, not DD at this age.

[timeforbedsleepyhead80]

Wow what @Gimmeareason?

[Floralnomad]

The membership idea is a good one , do you have a local play centre or farm park which is more for your dd than for the whole family . Why not go shopping with your mum to buy some suitable clothes .

[purpleprincess24]

I like the idea of wellies and a raincoat, she could choose them, send them to santa etc ... one Christmas my 2 year old insisted on going to bed with his postman pat wellies 😍