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To think counselling can help with this?

(11 Posts)
CatWranglersAnonymous Sun 08-Oct-17 22:39:27

Just feel really rubbish. Made a note earlier of how I'm feeling, and came up with:

I want approval from others all of the time, care a lot about how I think other people see me, am really self-conscious, put loads of pressure on myself and criticise myself constantly, fairly insecure, sensitive, low self-esteem and self-confidence and overthink loads of things. It's making me really down and depressed, then I feel really guilty for feeling depressed, and then all of that reinforces the whole cycle of feelings that I've just mentioned above.

AIBU to think that counselling or something similar could help me to feel a bit better?

RangeTesKopeks Sun 08-Oct-17 22:58:17

flowers didn't want to read and run OP - so sorry to hear that you feel like that. Haven't got any advice at the moment, I'm afraid, other than to say that I think the counselling will help. Hoping other posters will be along soon with some suggestions.

CatWranglersAnonymous Sun 08-Oct-17 23:04:19


MrsWooster Sun 08-Oct-17 23:15:33

Absolutely. This sort of thing is what the talking therapies are spot on for. Be rigorous in your choice- use professional orgs' registers like U.K.c. P and bacp to find someone legit and have a meeting. If you don't feel ok after the meeting, DONT feel obliged to continue; find another and try again. Bearing in mind your feelings, tell yourself you are researching this to find a good therapist for someone. ELSE, someone you love and care about... low self esteem can hinder findi help. Good luck and it does work.

CatWranglersAnonymous Sun 08-Oct-17 23:16:53


pattybianca Sun 08-Oct-17 23:22:59

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Triplesalchow Sun 08-Oct-17 23:23:44

Sounds a bit like me. I've had counselling and it helped. Some counsellors were better than others. Cognitive behavioural therapy was really effective for me. It makes you challenge the negative thoughts. It can involve a bit of effort but if you put it in it works. Also look into hypnotherapy maybe. I have a book called self esteem for dummies which I dip into sometimes. It's quite good.
I've also had hypnotherapy which was ok, maybe have a Google about that for self esteem issues.

SandyY2K Sun 08-Oct-17 23:25:04

Counselling can help you understand yourself better and find out why you seek approval so much.

Usually there's something underlying in your upbringing or experiences thst causes this.

Don't expect immediate results. It takes time need to be honest with the counsellor and realise that it could raise some painful memories.... that cause you to feel upset.

It all depends on you getting a good counsellor .. and developing a good relationship where you trust them .... and feel safe with them.

redsquirrel2 Sun 08-Oct-17 23:34:30

Definitely try counselling. You do know it's your low self esteem that's even leading you to ask if YABU? YANBU. Please don't feel guilty about feeling depressed, it's not your fault and mental health conditions are just as important as physical health ones. You need to break the cycle and I really think that counselling, perhaps cognitive behavioural therapy, could really help you. flowers for you, you sound like a nice person, I hope you can get the help you need.

nicenewdusters Sun 08-Oct-17 23:35:18

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) was the route that first came to mind when I read your post. It's very practical, and as pp's have said, challenges your thoughts, assumptions and beliefs.

It's easy to become stuck in negative thought patterns. Also, to over think situations both before and after they happen. With a negative train of thought you're likely to always assess what might happen/has happened as being bad/detrimental.

The relationship between yourself and the counsellor is the key to a successful outcome. You need to feel comfortable with them, to trust them and be able to be completely open. If you don't "click" it's ok to walk away. A good counsellor understands the dynamic.

I'd definitely give it a go. It can be very empowering.

CatWranglersAnonymous Sun 08-Oct-17 23:57:42

Thanks so much everyone flowers

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