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To have given this boys mum a piece of my mind?

(9 Posts)
youarenotkiddingme Sun 08-Oct-17 21:27:46

Ds has ASD and is often vulnerable to others teasing which extends to bullying at times.

He's a prime target because he can't retaliate using language and they love watching him get upset. sad

One lad from school who also goes same club with DS has been calling him a name for 6 months. I've told ds to ignore or tell adult if it gets out of hand. A few weeks ago he made fun of ds for something he can't do due to physical disability in front of whole group. Adult in charge dealt with it at the time.

Anyway turns out that ds has decided in the last few weeks to use a nickname for this lad. Nothing nasty just keeps doing it even though he knows it annoys him.

Mum spoke to me at club to have a word with my DS and I told her she should be speaking to her DS who has been doing it for 6 months now to mine and another lad at school and if her DS doesn't like it he should have stopped long before mine retaliated.
I also told her to speak to school if she has an issue with school stuff as they will deal with it as they know there's been issues between them in the past.

I've obviously spoken to DS and have told him it's akin to bullying even if it's retaliation and to stop and report everytime to his keyworker.

The mum did have the grace to say no one had told her before and I pointed out that at their age they should be learning to deal with it through the adults responsible for them at the time and not run to mummy and get her to fight their battles.

I'm not worried ds I've got it wrong because if you ask any kid at the school if they know this boy they all say he's a spoilt and nasty piece of work.

Allthewaves Sun 08-Oct-17 21:32:13

How old?

youarenotkiddingme Sun 08-Oct-17 21:39:28

13!

YouTheCat Sun 08-Oct-17 21:44:13

At 13 his mummy has come running because he doesn't like a nickname? Tbh I'd have laughed in her face, especially given her son's harassment of your child who has additional needs.

I thought they were about 6 or something.

RandomMess Sun 08-Oct-17 21:50:10

13!!!!!!! shock

claraschu Sun 08-Oct-17 21:51:22

I think that what you said was fine, and sometimes it is good for parents to talk to other parents. I know that this is not what is recommended, either on MN or in real life, but I have seen it to be very effective on 3 occasions.

I think it is good that the bully's mum knows what has been going on now, and that actually by starting this conversation with you she may have been a catalyst for change. The school hasn't dealt with the problem effectively if it has been going on for 6 months, so clearly something more needs to happen. Maybe she will come down really hard on her son.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 08-Oct-17 21:56:37

I know!

I don't agree with either boys behaviour but it pisses me off when parents come to speak to another about something (in public I might add) when their child is just as bad and worse still - started it!

The funniest thing is my ds is calling hers after a sweet confusedhmm
He's calling my DS a name because a local waste company has same name as him.

chewiecat Sun 08-Oct-17 22:18:12

13!! Mummy shouldn't have to fight his battles

Shakirasma Sun 08-Oct-17 22:51:18

YANBU Typical bully, happy to dish it out but can't take it.

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