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To want my trip to London with dc to be better than xh's?

(15 Posts)
RainyApril Sun 08-Oct-17 12:03:13

We live a long way from London but traditionally have always had a family trip in December.

Since xh and I separated four years ago I've carried this on. I've got a lot less money now but save up all year to make it a really nice day (can't afford an overnight stay any more).

I've got four dc aged 16-21, so they're no longer as interested in museums as they used to be, but they still love going and it feels like a really special treat.

Every year I invite xh for old times sake, and at dc's request, and every year he says no - although we do get on and it is all amicable.

This year he has announced that he is going to take dc himself, the week after I take them. Kids think this is weird, and don't really want to give up two Saturdays in December, but are going along with it so as not to upset him.

So, I think IABU to care so much about what he's doing but it now feels like a competition. I feel sad because he has a lot more money than me and will probably give them a better day.

So, AIBU to want to give them the better day out? I don't know London well. Does anyone know what I can do that will be exciting but not too expensive? We'll be there 10am until about 7pm. Or should I just do what I usually do and not care?

VinoEsmeralda Sun 08-Oct-17 12:06:15

Why dont you take them to a different city or place? Or , if they are into shopping, the January sales?

FenceSitter01 Sun 08-Oct-17 12:08:07

I would look for the big markets on Southbank, the hot food stalls, people seem to like the London Eye, Borough Market, Time Out is an invaluable guide to what's on:

www.timeout.com/london/things-to-do-in-london-this-weekend

Notevilstepmother Sun 08-Oct-17 12:10:47

You and your ex both need to grow up.

Parenting is not a competition ffs.

Let him do London this year, and do something else with them would be my suggestion.

GeekyWombat Sun 08-Oct-17 12:11:41

Agree with @VinoEsmerelda - why not do some January sales in London paired with another thing? If you go in January with a bit of forward planning there's a lot of deals out there (check Groupon, Wowcher, theatre websites etc). Depending on budget / interest you could all have a nice meal out or afternoon tea or a play or a combination of all. Maybe I'm biased because while I love Christmas I avoid Winter Wonderland / big events or busy places like the plague once we get into December because they're too busy, but January could be really fun. Also it eases the post-Christmas anticlimax a bit.

YANBU to feel like you want to make your thing special, I'd be totally the same.

GeekyWombat Sun 08-Oct-17 12:12:15

PS Have you done the cable car yet? Amazing views and reasonably priced.

FenceSitter01 Sun 08-Oct-17 12:12:53

I don't see why the OP should change her plans if it is something she has always done with her children. But the children will value her time more than the expense.

MojoMoon Sun 08-Oct-17 12:33:43

Browse the pop up shops, new designers and other interesting trendy stuff at Shoreditch box park and Spitalfields market. Then check out the markets on brick lane (vintage clothes, records etc), have a cheap curry and go bowling at the retro themed all star lanes on brick lane. All walking distance from Liverpool Street station, trendy, good for late teens

lurkingnotlurking Sun 08-Oct-17 12:35:39

Take them in summer. Let him do the cold, tired, winter fun. I live in London - do the summer

YellowMakesMeSmile Sun 08-Oct-17 12:43:43

YABU, it was a family tradition so why should only you get to carry it on?

Just go somewhere else if it bothers you that much.

TheStoic Sun 08-Oct-17 12:47:02

YABU, it was a family tradition so why should only you get to carry it on?

Going out on a limb here and suggesting it was a ‘family tradition’ that the OP always organised, and the ex hasn’t been interested in for at least 4 years?

Go somewhere else, OP. Start a new tradition.

That1950sMum Sun 08-Oct-17 12:50:18

You seriously need to grow up. Let you DH do it and do something different with your children.

RainyApril Sun 08-Oct-17 13:13:48

Thanks for the advice, I'll have a proper look later when I get home.

In terms of me needing to grow up or do something else, I've already booked and paid for the train tickets that are not refundable. I gave him the date a week ago, and asked if he'd like to join us. Yesterday he told me that he'd booked train tickets for the following Saturday. I don't feel like I'm the one who made it a competition really.

AnneBiscuit Sun 08-Oct-17 13:25:41

I don't think you're turning this into a competition. I think your ex is being odd taking the ds's to the same place a week later. Why would anyone do that. Especially has he hasn't been bothered about going for a few years.

I wouldn't worry about trying to make yours better. Don't stoop to his level. You've already got the edge on him because you're going first. I go with my sons quite often to London and they'd struggle to be enthusiastic about going again a week later!

Maybe give us some ideas what your ds's are into so you'll get some suggestions.

Goosegrass Sun 08-Oct-17 14:09:59

Your ex is a twat. Why should you change your plans? Sounds like your kids have the measure of him anyway. Instagrammable street food places seem to be very popular with my teens. Or interesting walls/grafitti etc. They basically live for instagram. 13 and 15.

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