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To ask if you take offence at someone you don't know that well shortening your name without invite to do so?

(137 Posts)
VladmirsPoutine Sat 07-Oct-17 22:09:02

Even if your name is something like Elizabeth and 'Liz' would be reasonable or indeed Thomas to 'Tom'. Not as in Charlotte to 'Lottie' - I can't exactly articulate why but I find the latter unreasonable.
My name is a bit of a silly 'made-up' name if you like. I'm named after a capital city so when people shorten it it ends up sounding even more ridiculous.
But do you make a point of saying "Well actually can you call me xxx please" even for your dc?

Santawontbelong Sat 07-Oct-17 22:11:54

I guess my name can be shortened although tbh nobody ever has!!
I would prob prefer the short nn but never had the idea to use it!!

FittonTower Sat 07-Oct-17 22:14:19

My name gets shortened all the time, I prefer the longer version but I don't care. So long as no one is calling me twattymcfuckface or owt I'm fine.

flufffyy Sat 07-Oct-17 22:14:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OuchBollocks Sat 07-Oct-17 22:14:33

I hate people shortening my name. I did a course with work and we wrote our names to put on our desks. I used my full name and the instructor still shortened it. Why? If I had wanted to be called by the short version I would have written that one down. It isn't a long or unusual name, think Alison to Ali.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday Sat 07-Oct-17 22:16:46

Oh I hate this.

My name is easily shortened but only my DH, brother and sister call me it. I HATE it when others do it, especially when I've only just met them.

I don't say anything though as I probably won't ever meet them again, but I find it very rude.

WillWorkForShoes Sat 07-Oct-17 22:16:57

My name gets shortened quite often. I don't mind that much as usually it's when they get to know me and it's a sign we get on. It only pees me off when I've just introduced myself as 'Willworkforshoes' and straight away they call me 'shoes'.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 07-Oct-17 22:17:48

There's two shortenings of my name, one I'm fine with, one I'm not.

My friends call me the one I'm fine with, work seem to have adopted the other so it's kind of become my 'work name'. Which is fine, it's only work, not real life.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn Sat 07-Oct-17 22:17:55

I agree OP. I find it familiar and it always seems a bit weird when people do it. I hate it when people do it to my DS too, example, he's called Thomas (not real name) and I always refer to him a such but my friends shorten it to Tom. It really pisses me off even when I've casually mentioned I don't like shortening it and they still carry on. My family shorten my name and I'm used to it as they've always done it but I always find it odd when others do it, it's similar to being called Sophie and people calling me Soph. It just seems a bit weird but I can't really say why. Thinking about it, I don't shorten people's names at all and always call them their full name, apart from family.

FenceSitter01 Sat 07-Oct-17 22:19:01

I agree with you - I have been introduced as 'Fence' I do not wish to be called 'Fen' or worse - 'Fennie' . Why do people persist in being so over familiar?

Floralnomad Sat 07-Oct-17 22:21:23

My name has what I consider a horrible shortening / nn and I correct anybody who calls me it very swiftly .

FenceSitter01 Sat 07-Oct-17 22:21:40

And the wrong name! Don't get me started on that grin

I've always used a different diminutive of my name , so assume I use 'Betsy' - people who shorten it to 'Bet', change it to 'Betty' or worse elongate it to Elizabeth when my name is Bethany. That really boils my piss grin

User5trillion Sat 07-Oct-17 22:22:47

I hate having my name shortened, my dad is the worst, he calls me debbie instead of deborah ( not real name), call me the name you gave me! My mum does it too.

Its bad when someone says do you prefer debbie or deborah, you say deborah and they still call you debbie.

I have always been a deborah (still not real name) even as a child, hated the shortened version of my name. Only just realised how strongly I felt about this grin

Oysterbabe Sat 07-Oct-17 22:25:21

People shorten mine all the time, even though it's already pretty short, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

MrsLupo Sat 07-Oct-17 22:25:52

My name is shortened anyway - for everyone. If people call me by my long, full name, I feel like I've been sent to see the headteacher. But I also have a shortening of the shortening, which is only used by DP and close family, and I hate it when people who hear them using it copy and use it uninvited. I wouldn't correct them, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable and that probably comes across. My MIL used it once, and I think I must have bristled a great deal in spite of myself because she never did it again and she's pretty thickskinned.

Winosaurus Sat 07-Oct-17 22:26:02

Urgh I hate this. I really dislike it when people you don’t know act over-familiar with you anyway! I don’t know you, please don’t act like you do... be polite!
If someone introduced themself as “Elizabeth” for example I wouldn’t dream of shortening it to “Liz” even if everyone else was calling them that unless they said “Oh just call me Liz”. It’s rude IMO.
I also dislike when people you’ve only just met say things like “Oh I know what you’d like”... do you? I’ve literally just said hello? hmm

picknmiss Sat 07-Oct-17 22:28:02

I almost exclusively go by the short version of my name but don't mind either long or short version. I don't mind people shortening my name before I offer either but I can understand why some people find it over familiar. What I DO dislike is people giving me nicknames when I barely know them, say I'm a Lucy that goes by Lou, some people (always men actually) randomly call me Lulu. So patronising!

EasterRobin Sat 07-Oct-17 22:28:20

I'm fine with friends calling me whatever variant they like, but when it's people I've only known for a few days (particularly colleagues) I find it over-familiar... and always have the sneaking suspicion they are going to try hugging me one day.

LadyMonicaBaddingham Sat 07-Oct-17 22:31:10

I'm ALWAYS known by the diminutive of my given name.... Have been since I was about 11. It feels a bit weird to be called by my full name now ( though I always address myself as same)

WhiteChocolateLindorPlease Sat 07-Oct-17 22:31:14

our names to put on our desks. I used my full name and the instructor still shortened it. Why? If I had wanted to be called by the short version I would have written that one down

Exactly. It almost implies that the person thinks they know your own name better than you do.

I have always been known by my full name, I don't think the short version suits me.

Unfortunately there is a fairly well known song (from the 70s) where the title and lyrics are the accepted shortened version of my name. I've lost count of the number times I've introduced myself as "White Chocolate" and a man someone has proceeded to sing "Ohh Choccyyy" at me.

Drives me mental-- That is not my fucking name and you can't sing! angry

SleightOfMind Sat 07-Oct-17 22:32:30

I always use the version of a name people introduce themselves as - anything else would be weird.
My name has an obvious two-syllable nickname, which I'm happy with but I hate having it further shortened to one.
Maybe that's why I'm over sensitive to it.

To answer the OP, I correct people if it doesn't seem arsey to do it and I know I'll have to see them again.

TreacleFarl Sat 07-Oct-17 22:32:56

My name is quite short and a lot of people close to me will shorten it again which I don't mind. You're right about people who aren't close doing it though, I find it a bit off-putting and it grates on me if they keep doing it.
I would always ask someone which name they prefer.

imnottoofussed Sat 07-Oct-17 22:33:09

My name is easily shortened, I don't mind friends or colleagues shortening it but I had someone on the phone the other day at work, I answered hello "full name speaking" they said "oh hi shortened name" and I had to double take thinking do I know this person. I had never spoken to them before and always use my full name on the phone and emails so no idea why she thought it was ok to use my short name.

MrsPestilence Sat 07-Oct-17 22:37:34

It is rude and infantilizing. You meet someone and give them your name, they call your their assumed shortening. They might as well call you Bob.

namechangedtoday15 Sat 07-Oct-17 22:38:48

I'd just say "hi, I'm not known as <shortened version>, its <full name>" or make it seem like a joke and say "oh, sorry, didn't realise you meant me, (put on laugh), I've never been called <shortened name>, only ever been known as <full name>"

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