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Because DH blames me for "wasting the day" for sleeping in?!

(103 Posts)
Peachy92 Sat 07-Oct-17 12:28:57

So DH and I have this stupid argument every other weekend or so. He likes to stay up late in the week and insists on sleeping with the TV on. I personally don’t but I fall asleep first and apparently my teeth grinding / snoring noises are so bad he can’t sleep without the TV covering it.. and I’m constantly tired because I don’t do well sleeping late and getting up early and I know I have a disturbed sleep with the TV on. Come the weekend I therefore like to sleep in until I’m rested and I don’t mind what time that is! If I don’t have commitments to be somewhere why does it matter? But DH moans! He will, though, stay in bed with me - asking me now and again if we’re getting up? Or putting the TV on? AIBU to be annoyed at this? Why should I get up before I’m ready? Why doesn’t he get up when he wants and go sit downstairs in front of the TV? Because that’s the worst part! I get told I’m wasting our weekend :| If I sleep in and I feel better I will literally be a tornado clean my house get all washing done bedding on nice dinner but he gets up to just sit?! How am I the one wasting our weekend?! Ugh rant over.

NapQueen Sat 07-Oct-17 12:30:51

Are you able to seek medical advice on resolving the snoring and teeth grinding? Once that is solved he has no excuse for tv in bed.

MinervaSaidThat Sat 07-Oct-17 12:33:17

Do you actually grind your teeth or snore?

Him putting the TV on is very unreasonable I think. As is preventing you from catchung up on sleep. Tell him if he stopped putting telly on, then you may actually get sone decent sleep and be actuve on weekends.

Time for separate bedrooms if you have a spare?

haveacupoftea Sat 07-Oct-17 12:34:28

Yep you need a bedroom each.

gamerwidow Sat 07-Oct-17 12:34:42

Why is he getting to dictate when you get up and when you go to sleep?
Can you try ear plugs and an eye mask to block out the tv.
Unless you’ve got plans for the day I can’t see how you bring in bed affects him. What you be doing if you were up earlier if it’s exactly the same as when you get up later what difference does it make?

wowbutter Sat 07-Oct-17 12:34:49

1. Why don't you sleep in different beds. Then there is no tv or grinding noise to piss off the other.
2. This would then solve your sleeping in issue, and you could come to a compromise on an agreed time to get up, given the fact you did not need to catch up on sleep.
3. You could do neither of these and continue to moan.

Peachy92 Sat 07-Oct-17 12:35:18

The odd thing is if we ever stay somewhere there’s no tv in the room he falls asleep within minutes.... Often before me.

DontTouchTheMoustache Sat 07-Oct-17 12:35:51

He is a grown man, he can surely entertain himself while you sleeep?

cremedelashite Sat 07-Oct-17 12:36:10

He needs ear plugs. You need to get rid of tv and you need to check out your snoring with doctor

Maelstrop Sat 07-Oct-17 12:36:14

Have you spoken to him about this? Does he control you in other ways, because I'd find that very demanding/controlling. Tell him to sod off and go downstairs rather than persistently disturb you AGAIN! You've got TV disrupting you at night then him in the morning, what a pain in the arse! Mine left the room quietly this morning to go off to work, no way would he disturb me even if he was off, he'd just go downstairs, feed the dog, have the TV on downstairs very quietly.

MinervaSaidThat Sat 07-Oct-17 12:36:46

Sounds like he is being passive aggressive then.

Is he like this in other ways?

firawla Sat 07-Oct-17 12:37:33

I can see both sides, because someone sleeping in so you can’t get out together is really frustrating, but if he just wants to watch tv then he could give you space, go downstairs and then you’d be well rested in a couple of hours. Doesn’t sound like you have dc? But if you do, you can’t just sleep in all weekend it’s unfair to the kids and the other parent left doing everything on their own. My dh used to do this and by 3pm some days he’d still be in bed. I absolutely hate that type of behaviour! But yes dh should stop with the tv in bed and things that are preventing you from sleeping properly

existentialmoment Sat 07-Oct-17 12:40:08

That is so clingy! He stays in bed with you while nagging to get up? Just tell him to get the fuck up and fuck off for good if he was mine

strawberrypenguin Sat 07-Oct-17 12:41:25

Separate rooms or turn the TV off once he’s asleep

PurplePillowCase Sat 07-Oct-17 12:42:18

remove the tv from the bedroom. if he wants to watch something he can do it in a different room.
if you have the space sleep separately.

strawberrypenguin Sat 07-Oct-17 12:43:02

Oh and if he needs lo listen to something it should be radio with headphones in not a TV with the light disturbance from that

Hawkmoth Sat 07-Oct-17 12:43:11

Bruxism is made worse by stress you know. Not surprising really since you're married to such a knob.

d270r0 Sat 07-Oct-17 12:44:40

Yes, ear plugs for him are definitely the solution here. And stop that tv running all night long!

notangelinajolie Sat 07-Oct-17 12:46:15

Simple solution is to sleep separately. You both have different sleeping patterns it really isn't rocket science and getting irritated/annoyed with each other is pointless and bound to get worse. Try it OP.

TheNaze73 Sat 07-Oct-17 12:46:19

See a doctor about your snoring, which is the root cause of all this frivolity

EggysMom Sat 07-Oct-17 12:47:31

Sounds like he needs less sleep than you, but doesn't understand that different people need different amounts of sleep.

If he wants to stay up late in the week, and wants to watch television, then accept that you are going to bed at separate times (we do). Have an agreement that he can come to bed when he's read, and encourage him to wear earplugs against any noise. If you are both rested and sleeping when you want for as long as you want, you'll find that you both wake up ready to face the day and the morning lie-ins/resentment will disappear ....

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sat 07-Oct-17 12:48:20

YADNBU for being annoyed at his constant nagging you to get up. How rude! Do you have kids?

I cannot bear “up early” snobs. There are some people who think martyring yourself and getting up at the crack of dawn makes you better person than those who lie in

Believeitornot Sat 07-Oct-17 12:48:54

Well my dh keeps me awake with his snoring and it really pisses me off. So much dh has taken action and now takes medication to help....

So you're a bit U if you've done nothing to sort it.

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 07-Oct-17 12:51:03

Tell him you're not having the tv on in your room for a week trial run and see if that makes a different. I've never had a tv in my room and couldn't sleep with one on. It would drive me mad! DH snores sometimes and I like to sleep in silence and pitch darkness. I have ear plugs and a black eye mask. Teeth grinding sounds a bit worrying. What have you tried to solve it?

He's being an arse hassling you to get up when you're sleeping in to catch up on is inconsiderate wanky behaviour.

You both need to make changes.

Poor quality sleep is so bad for you. The tv is worth making a fuss about. You could start by saying he's not putting it on in the morning and if he wants to watch it he can go downstairs!

RhiannonOHara Sat 07-Oct-17 12:51:13

He will, though, stay in bed with me - asking me now and again if we’re getting up? Or putting the TV on?

What is he, three?

I agree with PPs you should get the snoring and teeth-grinding sorted out. But he needs kicking into touch.

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