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Dp EX and wild accusations

(19 Posts)
sickofthelies Fri 06-Oct-17 23:50:02

I want to see a solicitor with regards to my DPs ex. Constant shit for many years, a lot easier to ignore now DC are older. Most of the time.
Anyhow recently she's decided she's going to stir up shit again and is now saying that I have labelled one of her immediate family an abuser (in the sexual context) and a threat to kids. I know it's a tricky subject but if I can actually get it said in full in print by her (screenshot or message) would I have means to start legal proceedings. It sounds so fucking petty but if I thought someone was saying such horrible shit about one of my relatives I'd go absolutely BATSHIT and I fear this is what she is hoping for (huge circle of minions, a lot of them gullible and hate us simply because she has lied to them) 😩😩😩

sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 00:05:51


sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 20:59:33

Anyone? sad

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Sat 07-Oct-17 21:16:43

I don't know about the legalities of it but can your dp not just tell her to leave you alone? I mean you may as well consult a solicitor if you want to, but that isn't going to really stop her spreading lies.
If anyone makes comments to you, you can truthfully deny and be disingenuous? "How would I have said these things? Dc love xxx / have never been alone with them/ they haven't been over here" whatever is appropriate? Good luck, it's hard to fight crazy!

sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 21:28:09

I'd happily take a lie detector test to prove my innocence - I have never said anything of the sort but her family and friends are the type of people who would attack me in the street for 'dissing their family' if you get me. I just don't understand why she would say this at all because if just ONE person believes I've said it and wonders if there's any truth in it the mans life could be ruined.
And as far as dp is concerned short of throttling her she wouldn't listen to a word he said

strawberrysodasmiles Sat 07-Oct-17 21:32:43

Oh god, sorry to hear you're going through this!
sounds like my DH's ex. She was an absolute psychopath and I was caught in a similar situation (not as viscous as yours).
I contacted a solicitor for advice more than anything and there wasn't really much that could be done as it was all he said she said and nothing in black and white, so you may be onto something if you can get something in writing? (Not 100%) . Biggest fear would be that the "person being accused/talked about" takes it further...i.e. Contacts a solicitor. May have a tricky one on your hands!
Hope you get it sorted!

littlehandcuffs Sat 07-Oct-17 21:36:13

I'm guessing it's hearsay atm, so difficult to prosecute. Please don't talk about a man throttling a woman (even if it is in a "jokey" way).

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sat 07-Oct-17 21:46:22

TBH it sounds all a bit Jeremy Kyle show-esque. I think a lot of growing up needs to be done all round.

What legal grounds do you think you have in this, I don’t understand what you’re seeing a solicitor for? Your DP needs to take control and liaise with her about her harassment of you. Is he doing this?

If anyone asks just say “No I didn’t say that about Gary” (or whatever his name is). You do not have to prove you didn’t say something

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 07-Oct-17 21:49:01

Are you the same poster who routinely posts shit like this gets told to grow up then flounces when you don’t hear what you want to?

sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 21:51:36

Why would I be told to grow up?
She's actually told people I've said this about her partner and some of them have publically expressed their anger towards me. This is a problem to me I'm sorry if I've annoyed you like

Protectingmydaughterfromfilth Sat 07-Oct-17 21:52:11

Op if you'd like to PM me. I know where you're coming from kind of. Ignore the nastiness on this thread. They're really out in force tonight x

sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 21:53:05

What exactly can my DP do about it though? I've sought police advice it doesn't constitute harassment apparently - because she doesn't contact me directly. I don't see what my dp could do that I can't really having a solicitors letter sent is the only thing I can think of

Protectingmydaughterfromfilth Sat 07-Oct-17 21:54:21

A Cease & Desist Order? Or is that only something that exists in the US?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sat 07-Oct-17 21:54:56

But what kind of solicitors letter?

He can absolutely help by telling her to back off and fighting your corner when accusations are made. What do you say when people ask you if you’ve accused this man? Sounds like a horrible crowd.

sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 21:56:07

Well if my dp does contact her and she says it via text message I was going to use that and threaten civil
I haven't seen anyone in person but they've made their feelings clear to shared associates 😔

sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 21:56:29

If he tells her to back off she'll just laugh and tell him to make her.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sat 07-Oct-17 21:57:59

Libel cases are so hard to prove. She’d have to admit to spreading the lie about what you said with a view to causing you harm. And actual harm would have to have been caused.

Has anyone actually asked you directly if you made this accusation?

Would your DP contact the family member directly to set things straight?

Flossy1978 Sat 07-Oct-17 21:59:52

Can't you sue for defamation? I mean maybe not go the whole way, but get a lawyer to threaten it?

You need to cut out any communication. If anyone says anything learn to ignore it.

sickofthelies Sat 07-Oct-17 22:00:55

That's what I'm thinking. A letter insinuating legal action. I am sick to my stomach at the thought of people thinking I would accuse an innocent man of this out of spite sad

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