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AIBU?

Who's in the wrong?

88 replies

NicoleB67 · 06/10/2017 23:14

OH and I have been playing around with each other all night and messing about acting like 13 year olds (FYI, we are in our mid 30's LOL). I was standing next to the TV and had a hair grip in my hand that I threw at him jokingly and it hit him just below the eye which he got into a right fit about and got pissed off with me. He then proceeded to pick up the big sky remote and throw it pretty hard at my thigh in retaliation (also anger which I could see etched on his face). He is a 6 foot tall sportsman with a strong arm and it really f**king hurt and is still stinging now half an hour later and left a mark. I'm really upset with him but he seems to think I'm in the wrong for starting it by the grip thing. Who's in the wrong here? (Sorry for the school type post, I do get it comes across v immature and am prepared to be flamed )

OP posts:

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RandomMess · 06/10/2017 23:17

He was an arse; you hurt him by accident, he deliberately hurt you...

Hisnamesblaine · 06/10/2017 23:17

Him obviously. Too far Tony!

Caspiana · 06/10/2017 23:19

There is no excuse for him deliberately throwing a remote at you in anger.

You probably shouldn’t have thrown the hair grip either, I know it was a joke but throwing things at people even in jest can end in tears. But his reaction was unacceptable.

Allthewaves · 06/10/2017 23:20

Don't throw things at each other!

firawla · 06/10/2017 23:21

Both of you are

KeepServingTheDrinks · 06/10/2017 23:22

No ifs or buts, he's in the wrong.

I imagine it stung when you hit him with the grip, which is why it stopped being fun for him and he got angry. But using his physicality to retaliate is an absolute no-no, especially as it's left a mark.

What happens if he gets angry when you haven't been joking???

overnightangel · 06/10/2017 23:26

Silly by you.
Huge horrible over reaction on his part, don't be smitten he's being a dick.
Sounds like you did something in jest that backfired and he may have shown his true colours

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/10/2017 23:27

He deliberately hurt you. That's not okay. Has he not apologised now he's seen the mark?

Messing around is messing around. Throwing something he knew would injure you is a different thing altogether.

You've posted because you don't what's happened is wrong.

geekone · 06/10/2017 23:27

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye!

C0untDucku1a · 06/10/2017 23:28

What do you mean by playing around with each other? Why would you throw something at him? His reaction was ott and an indication of a violent temper. Do you have children?

Mittens1969 · 06/10/2017 23:48

Both of you were, but his reaction to what you did was well OTT, and a sign of a very bad temper. I would be very wary of this, OP.

NicoleB67 · 07/10/2017 07:29

It is the first time anything like this has happened of the sort, he's normally a very laid back chilled kind of guy and something like this wouldn't have bothered him so I have no idea why he got so annoyed. We'd spent a few days away from each other and we're just acting silly, as in he was tiggling my feet when I was trying to watch tv, etc I think in a way to get my attention. We were just acting like kids which is why I then jumped up and went over to the TV and had a grip on my hand that I jokingly threw at him. It all sounds very ridiculous when I write it all down but we were just having a bit of fun and it turned nasty very quickly. Still not best pleased with him this morning.

OP posts:

EsmeeMerlin · 07/10/2017 07:33

Well when kids are like that most will typically blame both, it's all fun and games until it always turns and someone get some hurt, now both of you are hurt. Personally I think while no he should not have thrown the remote, you are hardly the innocent party and did throw something intending to hit him. While you may not have thrown it in anger, you still threw it and hit him.

QuiteLikely5 · 07/10/2017 07:35

You started something and you should give it if you can't take it!

If you feel so hard done by just get him back with the remote later on

Hmmalittlefishy · 07/10/2017 07:41

My mum would say 'I don't care who started it I'm finishing it'
I can send her round if you like op she can be quite formidable
I think start again with each other today and have a nice day out together and forget it and move on. You missed each other for a reason (emotionally not physically

Mittens1969 · 07/10/2017 07:45

I do think you both sound like my 2 DDs (8 and 5). Very childish.

SoupDragon · 07/10/2017 07:47

Both of you.

MinervaSaidThat · 07/10/2017 07:50

I don't think this is funny at all.

By a hair grip, do you mean for a pony tail? That's in no way equal to anremote control being struck on your thigh.

I would take this as a red flag. Watch out for any other signs.

He could be looking to see how you react to this and how much you will put up with.

MakeItRain · 07/10/2017 07:53

His reaction was very worrying. OK so you threw a hairgrip at himy which hit his face but didn't actually hurt him. He should have just said "let's stop now, that could have gone in my eye." But he obviously lost his temper and threw the remote at you hard enough to bruise. I would be walking out on this relationship. My ex had a nasty temper and I wouldn't put up with it in anyone ever now. I always wish I had walked out at the first signs of it I saw.

HeadfirstForHalos · 07/10/2017 07:55

Throwing the hair grip was silly, but it doesn't compare at all to his retaliation which sounds pretty nasty. He hurt you on purpose and in anger.

Peachyking000 · 07/10/2017 07:56

Both. The hairgrip obviously wouldn't have hurt as much but could have caused a more serious injury had it gone in his eye. I've had a corneal injury before and it was incredibly painful and has never completely resolved

HeadfirstForHalos · 07/10/2017 07:56

If I'd done that to my dh he might have stropped off in a cob but he'd never have hurt me.

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fairyofallthings · 07/10/2017 08:02

Both of you, you need to grow up and realise that you were both being stupid.

Imonlyfuckinghuman · 07/10/2017 08:03

There was a nasty edge to it and you seen it.

My brother did this to his wife a while back she lightly tapped him with a wire joking and he took it of her a whipped her hard with it, she yelped and it left a welt in her leg. I was fuming with him and told him. Not seen him since and that was last year.

We both come from a violent back ground and I seen a side to him that day id never seen before.

Be careful op

ShoesHaveSouls · 07/10/2017 08:04

Play fighting between a man and a woman is essentially unequal strength-wise, and men need to be aware of this.

Whenever DH and I do the playfighting thing, I realise just how much stronger than me he is. With us, it would never escalate to him throwing something as hard as he could at me.

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