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Where does the double barrelling stop

(195 Posts)
DooWhaaDiddy Fri 06-Oct-17 20:21:22

If an unmarried couple give the child both of their surnames, and that child then goes on to have a child with a partner who also has a doublebarrelled surname what do they do? Where does it stop! Application forms or the register at schools must be a nightmare grin

2014newme Fri 06-Oct-17 20:22:40

My friend works in a school and says she knows which kids have unmarried parents due to the double barrelling

confusedlittleone Fri 06-Oct-17 20:26:53

@2014newme but if hypothetically you were to marry someone with a double barrelled name and change your name to theirs wouldn't you take both names? And then if you have children give them the double barrelled name as well

DooWhaaDiddy Fri 06-Oct-17 20:27:58

Come to think of it, I think some married couples do this also...just seems if we keep double barrelling then names are going to get rather long in the future

2014newme Fri 06-Oct-17 20:28:13

Yes but it's much more unusual than the non married scenario

Hassled Fri 06-Oct-17 20:28:31

I've fretted about this - my DCs are Hassled-Bloggs - what happens if one of them marries Vera Smith-Jones? I suppose their kids will be Hassled-Smith, or Bloggs-Jones, but that's going to piss off the grandparent with the left-out name (I hope it's not me).

WisestIsShe Fri 06-Oct-17 20:30:59

I know a couple of Spanish families and the babies are given dad-mum surnames. The next generation then take each of the first surname names so Smith-Jones and West-king have a baby and the surname is Smith-West.

I like it, wish I'd encountered it before I had children.

DooWhaaDiddy Fri 06-Oct-17 20:31:42

Pick a whole new surname? I think I'd be less inclined to pissing off one set of GP and give the kids a name agreed on by the parents.... preferably just one name...but that's just me 😂

honeylulu Fri 06-Oct-17 20:34:00

I'm married and our kids have both surnames. (I kept mine and I sure as hell was not being written out of history).
When our children are older they might drop a name or change theirs on marriage(or not) or change by deed to something else they fancy. That's up to them entirely. My eldest is 12 and swaps between his double barrelled name, my name or his dad's name. Eventually he'll settle on one. All is good.
What's your objection to kids having both parents names? Do you think the mother should defer?

twinjocks Fri 06-Oct-17 20:34:19

I know a family who have triple-barreled their children's names - and none of the names are short to begin with. Official forms are a nightmare as they run out of boxes to put all the letters in.

Shestolethewitchesredshoes Fri 06-Oct-17 20:35:02

I have a double barrelled name as I couldnt decide whether I wanted my dad or my step dads name. (My mum was never an unmarried mother!).

These days I just use the one name (fits better on most forms!)

I'm now married with kids. I kept the one maiden name and my kids have their dads name.

I wonder how many people smugly assume they know anything about me just by judging me on my name?

shakemysilliesout Fri 06-Oct-17 20:35:28

This is what I've never really worked out, it's just another conversation the next generation have to have when it has a baby. But with more names in play.

In Iceland I think it's just your dad's first name followed by son or daughter, so changes each generation, I think! Happy to be corrected

Jiggler Fri 06-Oct-17 20:35:36

The world must be a very confusing place for you OP.

honeylulu Fri 06-Oct-17 20:36:07

Finding it hilarious that people think our kids teachers presume we are not married. It's 2017, who cares?

Hassled Fri 06-Oct-17 20:36:25

If people start just picking new surnames then future genealogists are going to have to work much harder.

I like the Scandinavian approach - so DD would be Wilma HassledDaughter and a DS would be Fred Bloggson. Or something. Do they use possessive apostrophes?

exLtEveDallas Fri 06-Oct-17 20:37:12

DD has a friend with a double barrelled first name, middle name and double barrelled surname. So:
Sarah-Jane Mavis Wittington-Smythe and she's always Sarah-Jane, never just Sarah.

EB123 Fri 06-Oct-17 20:38:01

I am married and my children have both names.They can do what they like when they are older.

Lweji Fri 06-Oct-17 20:38:02

Toss a coin?

RosyPony Fri 06-Oct-17 20:38:08

I married someone with a double barrelled surname, I don't see how my child's name would indicate we were unmarried.

MotherFromCatan Fri 06-Oct-17 20:38:16

My DD has a double barrelled name, like honeylulu I'm married and kept my name, I wanted DD to have my name too. I'd not assume that children's parents were unmarried because the child's name was double barreled hmm
She can decide which name (if either/both) she wants to use when she's older.

AngeloMysterioso Fri 06-Oct-17 20:39:35

I had a colleague with a first name, two middle names and FOUR surnames. FOUR.

shakemysilliesout Fri 06-Oct-17 20:39:54

In the olden days people were very relaxed with how they spelt surnames and we still managed to work out people's history, I don't think name changes will be a massive issue when people do history, also people share more data about themselves on and stuff

SlipperyLizard Fri 06-Oct-17 20:40:15

I do sometimes think that the increase in double barrelling (if that's a verb!), just kicks the can down the road to the next generation.

I'm not sure double barrelled name = unmarried though, is have thought it was more common with married couples.

Problem is that everyone wants different things - I kept my name and the DCs have my surname (DHs as a second middle name). I expect school either think we're not married or, more usually, assume DH is Mr Lizard.

I wouldn't have thought in 2017 it would make much difference if parents are married or not (apart from the clear advantages to most women and some men of being married before having children).

eurochick Fri 06-Oct-17 20:41:32

They will choose when they get married and have children, as we did. It's not difficult.

We gave our daughter both names, double-barrelled. We are married so that shoot's the teacher's prejudice out of the water. I can't believe anyone cares in 2017 tbh.

OlennasWimple Fri 06-Oct-17 20:41:38

I'd also wondered this about double-barrelled named people marrying another double-barrelled named person... I think it just delays losing the name and puts the decision onto the next generation

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