To not be entirely happy about this!

[Childminderissues123]

So my youngest who is 2.5 attends a childminder 5 days a week for roughly 6 hours each day. I want to say that I love my childminder, she's brilliant with my daughter who also thinks the world of her. My issue is more with CM's daughter. She has an 8 month old and went back to work when said child was around 5 months old. The child is minded by my CM, I have no issue with this at all.

The CM has mentioned a few times that her DD is struggling being back at work and really misses her child. She mentioned about 6 weeks ago that her daughter had asked her if she could "work from home" at her house, so she could see her child on her lunch & tea breaks. My CM told me that she told her it wasn't a good idea as her house is extremely noisy at times and she didn't think it fair on the kids she minds, presumably by asking them to be quiet. No more was said about it.

Fast forward to today when I was chatting to CM at pick-up and she mentioned that she had had a stressful week. She then mentioned that her daughter was stressing her out by coming in and demanding she keeps the kids quiet as she's on an important work call. So the arrangement is going ahead and I feel a bit angry if I'm honest. Finding it hard to pinpoint why but just worried that I'm paying out money for my daughter to constantly shushed. This may not be the case but the whole situation doesn't sit well with me.

So over to you lot, preparing for a flaming!

[Maya12]

No, I'd not be happy. I think if you've got a good relationship you should brave it and discuss with her. Who knows, she might secretly be glad to be able to tell her DD that paying customers are unhappy about the arrangement and she's got to protect her business?

[Santawontbelong]

Ask the cm outright does she have plans for taking the dc out as staying in keeping them quiet doesn't sound much fun for any of them!!??

[Brittbugs80]

I wouldn't be happy. The children should be the priority and should only be told to be quiet if they are being excessively noisy and not because someone who shouldn't even be there wants them to be quiet.

I'm assuming she has been drb checked? I was always led to believe that anyone staying on site at the childminders or frequent visitors in contact with the children had to be drb checked too?

You could always be really cheeky and asks if she would mind you staying for the day so you could see your child too?!

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

But they can't be out all the time! It's pretty obvious to anyone that you can't work from home and run a childminding service in the same house - it would be a nightmare.

[Ellendegeneres]

If she's there all day she needs to be dbs checked. I wouldn't be happy with that, why wouldn't she work from her own home (unless I've misread and she lives with cm mum) or rent an office? This isn't a workable long term solution

[Childminderissues123]

I think it partly annoys me as DH sometimes works from home if we are expecting a delivery or workman in and I know that he absolutely can't work with the DC's around. The older ones are OK now but DD3 is a no no and always goes to the CM if he's working from home.

I can't imagine CMDD would get much done as there are kids coming for after school care too!

[Childminderissues123]

Ellen no she has her own home but wants to be in the same place as her child so she can keep popping out to see her. Yes she is DBS checked, her whole family is as they are all regularly about the house when children are.

[MaverickSnoopy]

I have a CM and Ofsted had to review her house to make sure it was up to standards. Surely if your CM is working elsewhere it needs reviewing? I wouldn't be happy not knowing what the house was like that was being used so frequently. I'm sure the CM is sensible and wouldn't knowingly put your child somewhere that wasn't safe but I would feel concerned about the safety aspect.

It also sounds restrictive. Are they still getting out and about?

I wouldn't be happy with this all the time....once a week or every other week for part of the day would be ok by me though. FWIW my CM always checks about going to see other (DBS checked) friends or CMs.

[Aderyn17]

I think you should talk to your cm and explain that you send your child to her on days when your dh works from home, because you don't think it's fair to constantly shush a 3 year old - they need to be free to play. If the situation at cm's house is now one where you child no longer has freedom to just 'be', thrn that is not the setting you signed up to.

It's utter madness to work from home if home is also a childcare setting. Not unless it's a really big house and the two are properly separated.

[Mamabear4180]

I think your CM has told you too much and too little at the same time and caused your confusion and concern. She shouldn't really be discussing the plans that are between her and her daughter unless she's made her mind up about what she wants to do. Otherwise it puts unfair pressure on you to say you don't mind. It's kind of weird telling a parent that she doesn't want the mindees to have to be quiet too! that wouldn't sit well with me either op!

YANBU to be bothered by this. Your CM should be a bit more professional when dealing with parents.

[minipie]

What Maya said. Do say something. Your CM might actually be glad of an excuse to tell her DD she can't work there any more.

[Chartreuse45]

It is a lovely idea in principle, hopping in and out but it disrupts the child who has to go through his/her mother leaving several times a day! That is not even considering your child, it is not possible for both to happen, children's needs being met and phone calls!
I agree with previous posters, she is looking for a way out that does not mean she has to have the conversation with her daughter. That is why she told you this week was stressful.

[Childminderissues123]

I'm so glad you all agree with me. I don't think she's necessarily looking for an out. She's just a very honest person, perhaps too honest at times. I know I'm going to have to say something but don't want to upset things as she's perfect otherwise. I live in an area with lots of extortionate nurseries but very few CM's, they are all retiring.

If I'm honest I think the DD is being a bit of an entitled CF! I think she feels her and her child's interests should come above everything else as they are daughter and grandchild, did the paying customers!

[Childminderissues123]

sod the paying customers that would read!

[Childminderissues123]

Should! Dear god I'm obviously getting annoyed as losing the ability to string a sentence together!