DP and rows.

[HouseEddardStark]

Hi everyone,

My DP and I have been married for around 18 months now. We've always bickered but without any malice and more often than not, those little bickering moments just stopped with a smile towards each other. But recently it feels like we just don't get on. I feel like I'm faking being happy like everyone around me expects me to be. I can't even pinpoint what it is, just keep thinking me and DP just aren't good at marriage. DP is a genuinely nice guy and everyone around me thinks the same but when it's just us at home, god we get on each other's nerves. I constantly feel sad / upset and prefer being with myself rather than DP and I hate that I feel this way. I've mentioned this to him and he says he loves me unconditionally and this is just a rough patch which we'll get through but I don't know if he's just burying his head in the sand.

Is this just a rough patch and too early to say it's always going to be like this, or are just doomed.

Me and DP also didn't live with each other before marriage but known each other a while before we got married. I've also thought perhaps it's just me (feeling sad, upset and tired constantly) so have booked an appt with a counsellor for Monday morning.

[RandomMess]

Living together is tough!! It would be so worth seeing someone together to learn how to communicate better, sooner you do it the happier you SIL both be.

Are there flash points of cooking/housework etc?

[Ttbb]

Whatever you don't have children until you have decided what you are doing narriagewise. Well done for seeking counselling

[HouseEddardStark]

I couldn't even pinpoint what the arguments are about. Always something small which escalates. I'm literally at the end of my tether at the moment, forever upset with him and my life wondering if I made the wrong decision

[speakout]

Maybe you are simply incompatable.

I would never marry a man without living with him first to see if will work.

[MumsOnCrack]

Can you try and pinpoint why this is happening?

[MumsOnCrack]

It sounds like there might be a bit of a power struggle?

[HouseEddardStark]

I've tried so hard to pinpoint but no joy. It can be something simple and one of us gets upset / angry with the other.
I've often thought we aren't compatible and contemplated divorce so many times but I feel like that's just such a drastic step and no one would understand. Nothing major has happened, nothing huge, just incompatibility.

[Yambabe]

I don't think you've adjusted to marriage yet - for a start you still call him your DP not your DH!

Try the counselling, it may help.

[ticketytock1]

I found the first year of marriage really tough.., it's all about finding your groove and what works for you.
Did you live together before you married?
I'd say it takes a good 2-3 years to find practical harmony.
Stick at it, if you love and respect one another you will find a way