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To not want to move my wedding?

(118 Posts)
MaderiaCycle Fri 06-Oct-17 17:14:07

Our wedding celebration is booked (and paid for) for 31st March 2018. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and due on 10th April. We are having the legal ceremony with immediate family in November but lots of people (usually distant friends) are telling us to postpone the celebration as I won’t be able to dance (we are having a ceilidh). Weddings are so stressful to organise and it feels like 31st March is done. AIBU to keep to the original date or am I mad for thinking of having a big party 2 weeks before my due date?

allegretto Fri 06-Oct-17 17:15:41

Actually I think you are cutting it a bit fine. It might be ok but could be a bit stressful.

2014newme Fri 06-Oct-17 17:16:49

Your wedding is in November. Your party is in April. Move the party to November or any other convenient time.
I had my babies 6 weeks premature. Yours could be early, you could be unwell, you could be in hospital, you could just be big and uncomfortable. You're unlikely to want to host a party. The inconvenience of changing the date is nothing like the inconvenience of your waters breaking at your party

Crunchymum Fri 06-Oct-17 17:17:13

I assume it's first baby?

I am sure you'll be fine. Everyone else is still able to dance, drink and celebrate - you can sit and eat cake if that is all you feel up to.

Unless you have baby early of course

poisonedbypen Fri 06-Oct-17 17:17:29

The baby could easily be 2 weeks early

2014newme Fri 06-Oct-17 17:17:38

And no you won't be dancing 2 weeks before due date. I was barely walking

MonkeyJumping Fri 06-Oct-17 17:20:20

Only 5 percent of babies arrive on the due date, anytime between 2 weeks before and 3 weeks after is regarded as totally normal full term.

So you could easily be in labour (or already have a tiny baby) on the day of your party.

At 13 weeks you really can't predict how you'll feel by the end of pregnancy or what medical issues may emerge. I couldn't possibly have gone to that kind of party by about 32 weeks as I was on bed rest with unexpected issues.

So all in all I'd rearrange.

OatcakeCravings Fri 06-Oct-17 17:20:47

Hmmm, I'd move it. My opinion is that it is way too close to your due date. My DS was 5 weeks early (my first) and was in hospital for two weeks. There is no way on earth I'd have managed going to a wedding a week later, never mind being the bride!

Gorgosparta Fri 06-Oct-17 17:23:37

I get why you feel like you do. But I can totally see why peoplr think you should move it.

pasturesgreen Fri 06-Oct-17 17:24:49

How much money are you going to lose if you reschedule now? Tbh, I'd try and move the date if at all possible.

Calmanrose Fri 06-Oct-17 17:26:30

You could be dancing...i certainly could have. I was doing active fitness classes until 32 weeks and was dancing at a wedding 2 weeks before my due date. I went a week over... had a section and danced at my siblings wedding 3 wks later. It doesn't all stop because you are so many weeks don't worry.

GammaDelta Fri 06-Oct-17 17:26:54

Its not about dance just that it's too close to the due date.. what if cooks is born 2-3 weeks early?? Are you going to Have your wedding in that case?

2014newme Fri 06-Oct-17 17:27:49

The wedding is in November. It's the party in April

allegretto Fri 06-Oct-17 17:28:24

Btw I went to a ceilidh at 20 weeks and danced and danced. Ended up in bed rest for the next 4 months!

fatfingeredfran Fri 06-Oct-17 17:28:59

shock as PPs have said, it's common and normal for babies to arrive 2 weeks early. There are also plenty of prem babies that arrive even earlier.

Even if your baby doesn't arrive early I cannot imagine you'd want to attend a party (let alone host!) this close to your due date.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I developed a complication, it's relatively common, lots of women have a complication of one sort or another near the end. You just don't know if you will still be feeling well and healthy towards the end.

I'd really recommend moving your party.

NC4now Fri 06-Oct-17 17:29:17

I'm very laid back about these things, but I'd rearrange. Better to rearrange now, in good time, than to have to do it all from your hospital bed the day before the do, if your baby puts in an early appearance.
I was at a wedding at 38 weeks, but it wasn't my own (and I even managed a little boogie).
I'd want to be in the thick of it at my wedding party, having fun, not sitting on a chair eating cake while everyone else parties at my expense. That sounds rubbish.

badbadhusky Fri 06-Oct-17 17:29:31

I think it's fine to stick with your planned date, so long as you and your OH are fine with not being there. Anything could happen. Some people are fine, but plenty end up with complicated deliveries, a baby in special care, so broken by lack of sleep after a couple of weeks the last thing they want is a public gathering they have to turn up to... Knock yourself out! I'm sure it'll all go swimmingly. confused

Youcanstayundermyumbrella Fri 06-Oct-17 17:29:56

I normally don't subscribe to big limitations around having babies but this one would give me pause. In my pregnancies at 38 weeks I would have been (1) incapacitated by evil piles (2) immobilised by SPD and (3) unable to eat almost anything nice because of gestational diabetes. None of which would have made my wedding reception enjoyable.

Bisquick Fri 06-Oct-17 17:31:14

29 weeks pregnant here and I wouldn't want to dance or host a party right now. Loads of others are perfectly fine all the way till the due date. The point is you really won't know. You could get SPD or PGP, you could deliver several weeks ahead of your due date, you could also just be perfectly fine.

I would move it if it were me, but depends on how much money you'd lose. As also assuming you'd be fine if it came to it and it was just your friends and family having fun but you're not able to be there?

Doublechocolatetiffin Fri 06-Oct-17 17:31:37

I also think you should move it. After 37 weeks your baby is considered full term and could come at any time, this is why other countries refer to a birth month rather than due date. You might be fine, but you may also have had/be having a baby then. Why risk it? You may also feel pretty awful with the baby's head engaged and putting a lot of pressure on your cervix/bladder etc.

I think you'd have a much nicer time if you did it earlier.

AtSea1979 Fri 06-Oct-17 17:34:11

I guess it depends how much you've spent and what your expectations of the night are. If it's not cost much and doesn't matter to you if your in hospital with baby or too unwell/uncomfortable to go then that's fine. If it's a lot of money that could be better spent elsewhere then move it! If you want to get drunk and dance then move it! Surely you can't be sober at a ceildh?! If I was hosting I'd pick a date where I could have a drink or three.

hazelnutlatte Fri 06-Oct-17 17:36:33

I was invited to a friend's wedding two weeks before my due date - I was planning to go but went into labour the night before! I wouldn't take the risk with your own party!

expatinscotland Fri 06-Oct-17 17:37:13

Move it all to November when your real wedding is.

Normalserviceissuspended Fri 06-Oct-17 17:37:54

Weddings are so stressful to organise and it feels like 31st March is done.

It isn't a wedding? It is a party. Might end up as a birth celebration.

beekeeper17 Fri 06-Oct-17 17:38:33

What's your back up plan if you realise closer to the time that it can't go ahead? Will you lose a lot of money? Will guests have booked hotel rooms, arranged childcare etc?

My first baby was 10 days early, and even if she hadn't arrived early, I can't see that I'd have enjoyed being at my own wedding party that close to my due date. I'd have just wanted to be resting and would probably have been asleep on the sofa at 8pm.

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