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Parents who think rules don't apply to them

(307 Posts)
mintinbox Fri 06-Oct-17 15:26:02

Just went to the harvest festival assembly at primary school where my kid was performing. The whole school was.

Announcement at the beginning no photographs or filming please turn your phone off.

Smug bitch in the second row filming the whole thing on her phone. A woman in front of her was caught taking a photograph and told not to by a member of staff (not made to delete it though) and said "oh I didn't know" of course you knew.

I have reasons for my child to be on social media with her school name attached and I'm sure I'm not the only one in the country who feels this way either.

Of course I didn't say anything to the filming mother as my child could be in a class with hers for years and so frictions are best avoided

I'm absolutely raging though.

Would i be ur to not allow my child to ever participate in school assembly's plays or anything like this again because of some selfish ignorant twat?

category12 Fri 06-Oct-17 15:27:03

Complain to the school about the rules not being enforced?

lalalalyra Fri 06-Oct-17 15:28:49

You should have mentioned it to the staff or said something.

If there are kids with genuine reasons for the ban to be strict the school should be much better at enforcing it.

As DS's school there are very good reasons for a ban, its made very clear before your child joins and there's a reminder before every performance. A parent caught filming would be asked to leave - the HT is very hot on it.

Butterymuffin Fri 06-Oct-17 15:35:20

That is very annoying and the school should be harsher on it.

mintinbox Fri 06-Oct-17 15:36:16

I did speak to the staff but this is after the event and they don't make people delete it.

Like I said I didn't say anything to her during the show or to the staff as our children will be in the same class for years possibly and this would make me out to be the horrible one.

There will be children in every school who's parents don't want this. The school said at the start no filming etc it's on all the schools literature it's just people think it doesn't apply to them. Why should the teachers who are dealing with whole classes of children nervous etc for a performance have to baby the parents and go round checking none of the adults are being naughty and breaking the rules etc?

Trueheart1 Fri 06-Oct-17 15:39:21

Why are you so against filming? If your child is in hiding it would seem sensible not to let her be in shows that are watched by the public. It seems a shame that parents cannot film.

ThereIsIron Fri 06-Oct-17 15:41:34

Daft rule. Our rule is that photos/filming is allowed but should not be shared on social media without express permission for each person in the media.

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Fri 06-Oct-17 15:42:02

Wtf? The right of parents to film is more important than the right f a child to be in a school performance? What the hell kind of weird view of the world is that?

mintinbox Fri 06-Oct-17 15:43:13

True heart - a good example of people who think the rules are not for them.

It doesn't matter WHY it's the schools rules so parents should either stick to them or go to another school where they can film their child singing in a crowd of other children to. I doubt post of social media and bore all their friends with.

Armadillostoes Fri 06-Oct-17 15:43:17

YANBU-and the responses moaning about the rule demonstrate a total lack of understanding of the risks some children face. Agreements not to share films via social media are all too often broken, and irreparable damage can be done.

StealthPolarBear Fri 06-Oct-17 15:43:52

So the woman in front of her was told off for taking a photo, while she had her phone out filming the whole time?

mintinbox Fri 06-Oct-17 15:44:54

Yes. The staff obviously didn't see her doing it. She must of heard them repeat it to the woman in front of her but too arrogant to stop.

blueberrypie0112 Fri 06-Oct-17 15:46:09

Maybe they should just do away with performance because the parents are going to record their child performing for them no matter what

Gretia Fri 06-Oct-17 15:47:22

I think that a blanket ban on photographs is really unreasonable. Most parents are going to want to take pics/videos of their children in their first nativity/class assembly etc.

Our school asks that no photos are uploaded onto social media which I think is fair enough.

Garlicansapphire Fri 06-Oct-17 15:47:36

I would absolutely not regard the right to film overriding the right to privacy. If thats the rule then stick to it. Selfish precious parent wanting to get their little filmey.....

Some mothers and children have had to flee abusive and dangerous relationships. The child should still have the opportunity to perform in school shows - not be denied it because a selfish parent wants to break the rules.

blackteaplease Fri 06-Oct-17 15:48:45

A blanket no filming rule is a bit restrictive, not everything is posted online. Sometimes it's to share with family or even for the dc to watch themselves. Our school asks us to restrict posting photos/videos to those that only have your dc in.

That said ithat is annoying to have your view blocked by a phone or ipad.

mintinbox Fri 06-Oct-17 15:49:58

The school takes a photograph of every child in their costume for the parents to have. You're not allowed to photograph other people's children. In ghosts day and age it's not the photograph it's the social media.

And you don't have to be 'in hiding' to not want your child's details of what school they're all all over social media.

DeadGood Fri 06-Oct-17 15:50:11

"It doesn't matter WHY it's the schools rules so parents should either stick to them"

For fuck's sake OP, you can continue to froth at the mouth about this, and accuse people of being "arrogant". And it will continue to happen.

OR, you could accept that grown adults tend not to like rules that seem arbitrary and stupid.

Clearly, these people do not understand why this issue is so important. Your situation is probably COMPLETELY outside of their sphere of experience.

Talk to the damn school and encourage them to explain WHY the rule exists. Take note of the PP on here who has said that the rule at their school is "photos ok but no social media".

But stop with this "it doesn't matter why, people should just follow the rules blindly" attitude, because the fact is, when rules seem pointless, people WILL ignore them.

deadringer Fri 06-Oct-17 15:51:52

Our school have always requested at every performance that parents do not take photos or recordings of the children. It is a complete waste of time as there all always people who ignore it. They have given up now and just ask people not to share the images on social media. Which they also ignore. It's very annoying.

Fluffypinkpyjamas Fri 06-Oct-17 15:52:27

Why are you so against filming? If your child is in hiding it would seem sensible not to let her be in shows that are watched by the public. It seems a shame that parents cannot film

Oh look OP, one of those parents grin

lalaloopyhead Fri 06-Oct-17 15:53:58

It is a shame that we can't take pictures of our kids in plays etc anymore, I have a lovely video of my eldest in her nativity 15 years ago. BUT these rules were made to protect children with the growth of social media etc which wasn't around in the same way in those days.

There is a mum from my youngest's year who always took sneaky pics and videos and posted them on FB saying 'no one tells me what to do, lol' type of comment. The fact the child sitting next to him or whatever might have very valid reasons for not wanting a picture out there identifying which school they go to, obviously doesn't even enter their thinking. Probably because the people that crack on with this stuff regardless don't appear to have a concept of anything outside of their own tiny world!

Mumto2girls82 Fri 06-Oct-17 15:55:05


Yeah complain. Parents not following rules is the reason why the kids are disruptive. I have just been reading about a boy who swore at a teacher for refusing to let him go to the loo on another thread. Some of the behaviour is atrocious from both parents and children. School rules should be respected.

Did you enjoy the harvest festival assembly?

mintinbox Fri 06-Oct-17 15:55:30

Dead good- you sound more riled up than anyone on here about your right to photograph and film other people's kids.

LittleLionMansMummy Fri 06-Oct-17 15:56:22

Trueheart a reason for being against this is usually because of other people's social media postings that parents don't have control over. I don't have an issue with photographs or videos myself but my sister has two adopted sons who she adopted when they were 6 and 8. They are allowed minimal contact with birth parents except a letter once a year. Dsis lives just over the county border is a different LA but not a million miles from where the birth parents live. She's really careful what she shares on social media, despite having been their mum for 3.5 years. But nobody should need to justify their feelings. Rules are there for a reason and people shouldn't get to pick and choose which ones apply to them. Neither should adopted children have to 'sit out' the school nativity or harvest festival play for fear that someone will video them who has not been given permission to do so.

BewareOfDragons Fri 06-Oct-17 15:56:53

We have children in our school whose pictures canNOT be put on social media for serious reasons.

People like this should be banned from school shows if they can't follow the rules. They should just be thoroughly grateful that their own children are not having the lives that some of these children are having.

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