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Breaks away

(9 Posts)
bellalou1234 Fri 06-Oct-17 14:16:22

Hello,
Aibu I'm away this weekend with some close friends to a caravan and in May I went away to Spain for 3 days, with the same group.
Since then I've had holidays with my dp, but not my dm.

I've been to see my dm today and you would think I was the worse person ever going away with friends and never make time for anyone else.

She's made me feel so guilty, and ruined my weekend. I'm 37 I should be able to do what I want.

NancyDonahue Fri 06-Oct-17 14:35:26

In what way does she make you feel guilty? Does she have your dad/partner to spend time with?

bellalou1234 Fri 06-Oct-17 14:36:39

No that's the issue she's been single for years. She had an ok network of friends. But always has the ability to make me feel like the worst person for having a life

LindyHemming Fri 06-Oct-17 14:37:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly Fri 06-Oct-17 14:41:52

"But always has the ability to make me feel like the worst person for having a life"

If that is really the case then you need to challenge her every time something is said.

If it continues, then go low contact.

If that isn't really the case, then you both want a different relationship and you need to be honest with her and put it to rest.

bellalou1234 Fri 06-Oct-17 14:45:44

Yes and I said I would only for 3 days in November she's told me to forget it

ninnynono Fri 06-Oct-17 14:50:15

My dad used to have form for this. I always felt so guilty. However since having some truths told to him, he has improved.

Your mum's social life is not not your problem. You have to have your own life. Your mum needs to sort her own network out. Telling you to 'forget it' when you suggest going away in November is pure manipulation. Do not let yourself be manipulated. Your mum is responsible for her own happiness.

Have a great weekend away.

bellalou1234 Fri 06-Oct-17 14:51:53

thanks ninny she is manipulating me, always has done

ninnynono Fri 06-Oct-17 14:58:00

flowers
A therapist once told me that no one can be manipulated unless they chose to. So choose not to. Put your needs first. That's what your mum is doing. You've suggested a weekend away in November, she should be delighted. But she will know that she can press on the guilt button and it will work. So stop feeling guilty.

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