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Declined job offer

(36 Posts)
RangeTesKopeks Fri 06-Oct-17 01:37:29

After having two interviews for a job and being offered the job during the second interview a couple of days ago, I felt that I couldn't accept the job.

I emailed the employer to let them know that I couldn't accept it yesterday afternoon. The employer has just emailed back, telling me that I should've let them know that I wouldn't be able to accept the job on the day I was offered the job at the latest, and that I should give them a reason why I feel I can't accept the job.

Who is being U? And how should I reply to them/should I reply?


Caulkheadupnorf Fri 06-Oct-17 01:41:15

When did you decide you couldn’t accept it?

I’ve always believed that you shouldn’t interview for something if you’re not planning on accepting if they offer as you’re taking the place of someone who might want the job, and wasting the time of the interviewers.

If they said something during the second interview then let them know that that made the difference to you and and if you had known that already you wouldn’t have continued to interview.

RangeTesKopeks Fri 06-Oct-17 01:43:07

I decided today Caulk. I didn't accept it because the reality of the job, as it was explained to me in the interview, was totally different to the way that the job was presented in the online job description that I read when applying.

Caulkheadupnorf Fri 06-Oct-17 01:48:32

If you realised that at the second interview then say that in the email to them

“I chose to decline the job offered as I felt I had different expectations from the job description that what it appears you are are looking for”

If you realised after the first interview then it’s a bit trickier. What stopped you from saying at the interview that you didn’t want it?

Caulkheadupnorf Fri 06-Oct-17 01:49:56

When I say realised, I mean realised the job was different, not realised you didn’t want it

CabbageSoupy Fri 06-Oct-17 01:55:33

You don't need to reply, as long as you were clear and polite in declining.

It's your life, you had a right to decline- who can't change their minds? Sounds like you had a near miss working for such a company.

Unless you will come into contact with this company again or you work in an industry where word of mouth matters then delete the email and forget about it.

Topseyt Fri 06-Oct-17 02:02:24

They are being very odd.

The interview is a two way process, where you are also working out whether the job is right for you as well as them working out whether to offer it to you.

You are not obliged to accept. Give them the feedback.

You may have dodged a bullet if they are this far up their own arses.

Topseyt Fri 06-Oct-17 02:07:00

You second thoughts, delete it without replying.

The person who wrote it is clearly a self important arse.

RavenLG Fri 06-Oct-17 02:07:55

They're probably annoyed because as you'd accepted they've told other candidates they were unsucessful and now either have to make a rather akward call to say, "Hey you we're 2nd best but the 1st one dropped out so you're good enough now, still fancy it?", or have to re-recruit.

I think it's best not to burn bridges and if you're in an industry where there is a possibility of bumping into people again, I would reply and apologise for the inconvenience and say personal circumstances have changed and you informed them at the first opportunity you could, and wish them luck in filling the role, the future blah blah. If you're not in that industry, I would just ignore.

I would suggest for the future, in the interview if you're having concerns about the role not meeting JD specs then raise it at the end when they ask if you have questions, if you didn't already do so that is.

Topseyt Fri 06-Oct-17 02:08:04

On second thoughts!!

Topseyt Fri 06-Oct-17 02:11:19

Raven, she doesn't say she had accepted it, just that it was offered.

enceladus Fri 06-Oct-17 02:13:56

Don't reply, they don't own any part of you!! that's just some unprofessional mee-aww.

afrikat Fri 06-Oct-17 02:39:17

They are being unreasonable. You might have had a few interviews lined up and needed to see who offered before you could accept. Giving them a reason is a courtesy (and could be good feedback) but isn't an obligation. Accepting a job is a big decision and often needs serious thought - a few days (or even a week) isn't unreasonable. I often interview candidates and never reject my 2nd choice until my 1st choice has accepted, just in case!

JWrecks Fri 06-Oct-17 02:41:37

Regardless of your reasoning, and even if you initially accepted the job, you really don't owe them anything. I find it very strange that they would reply to you, chastising or grilling you that way.

This kind of thing happens to employers all the time! It's really no big deal at all! Usually, when a person is job hunting, they go to as many interviews as they possibly can, and so they often end up receiving more than one job offer in this process, as it's a good idea to always accept the first offer you receive while you continue to search for the ideal job, in case it's the only offer you get! It's very common for somebody to initially accept a job, then later receive another/better offer, and ultimately choose the latter.

I can't tell you how many times I've personally sent a prospective employee an offer, only to find they would not be accepting for one reason or another, or how many times a prospect has accepted the job, only to call a couple days later saying they could not, for one reason or another, accept after all (usually another offer that they preferred for whatever reason). It happens all the time!

I would expect any reply to the email you sent to only say "Aww, oh well, thanks for letting us know! Good luck in your new venture!" or to inquire whether there was anything (£££) they could offer that would entice you to accept their offer over the other one.

That said, I think, if it were me, I would reply to the email, but only so that I don't burn any bridges in the event that I do end up wanting to work there in the future.

Personally, I would probably just lie and tell them that I received a better offer in the meantime, and say that I told them as soon as I found out.

But there is nothing wrong with telling them that the reason you declined was because when you really thought about it, you realised that the job wasn't exactly what you thought it was. In fact, they may appreciate that feedback, as they probably want to update the posting to be more accurate or re-think their interview strategy or something.

Hmm... actually... I wonder if this has happened to them before, and perhaps that is why they replied with the nastygram? Because people keep declining their offers? Hmm...

Lozmatoz Fri 06-Oct-17 04:22:18

You are interviewing them as much as the other way round! They are being unreasonable, completely.

You do not have to defend your decision. Simply explain, on having more info at interview, this is not the job for you.

morningtoncrescent62 Fri 06-Oct-17 04:34:24

What did you say to them when you were offered the job, OP? If you said, 'Can I have a couple of days to think about it' then you're absolutely within your rights to decline a couple of days later. I do lots of interviewing at work, and this is standard practice.

If you said yes at the interview, and you've subsequently declined then you're being a tiny bit U, although to be honest, I think they were wrong to offer the job at the interview itself, because it puts pressure on a candidate to give an immediate answer and I don't think that's fair.

Whatever, I would still send a polite response along the lines JWrecks suggested. You never know who knows who, and when you might meet them again!

over40andpregnant Fri 06-Oct-17 05:01:30

I would reply just because what if this hr person goes to work for another company you do want to work for in the future

Sorry I took a bit longer innletting you know but I was really thinking it through as I am really interested in the company
However I felt I have to decline as in the interview process the way the role was laid out and what it entails I felt was different to the advertised job and therefore feel it’s not quite right for me

Thanks for all of your time and I wish you luck in filling the role


RangeTesKopeks Fri 06-Oct-17 05:12:15

Thanks to everyone who's replied.

The role would've involved me working on my own with the company director (who also interviewed me and who has sent me all of the emails relating to the job), although the job description said that the role would involve working in an office with colleagues.

I asked the company director if I could see a contract before the job started. They said that wouldn't be possible, as they were still writing up the contract, but that they'd have it ready for me to sign for my first day of work. I thought this was a bit U on their part, because I'd have to read the contract on my first day of the job, and wouldn't have had any time previously to take in and understand the terms of the contract.

RangeTesKopeks Fri 06-Oct-17 05:13:34

The company is made up of the director, a couple of freelance workers and whoever takes on my role. I didn't realise this before the interviews, as it wasn't made clear in the job description.

elfinpre Fri 06-Oct-17 05:17:50

You haven't done anything wrong, OP. People might need to reflect on whether they want accept a job offer for all sorts of reasons. Especially if offered the job there and then in the interview. From the fact they gave you an arsey reaction it sounds like you made the right choice.

LadyWithLapdog Fri 06-Oct-17 05:22:15

They sound disorganised.

engineersthumb Fri 06-Oct-17 05:35:48

I think you have had a lucky escape. Offering a job in an interview is akin to pressure selling. Having no contract means you are totally at their whim in terms of hours, pay and conditions. Best of luck finding a new role soon.

highinthesky Fri 06-Oct-17 05:59:56

The employer has just emailed back, telling me that I should've let them know that I wouldn't be able to accept the job on the day I was offered the job at the latest, and that I should give them a reason why I feel I can't accept the job. I think feedback would be reasonable, and giving the reasons you have outlined in the original post is what they need to hear.

Reading between the lines, this is an inexperienced interviewer looking to clear up the shit they’ve created. They’ve probably given other candidates harsh feedback, and now are kicking themselves that they may have to go back and eat their words and appoint someone who was good enough, but they’ve slated.

yakari Fri 06-Oct-17 06:07:24

The size (or lack of) the company makes me a bit more sympathetic to them, they are being unreasonable but probably also inexperienced and maybe overwhelmed.
If it's the director plus two freelancers and then your role, it's possibly the first time they employed full time staff so weren't very good at job description, process etc,
I'd drop a short note back out of courtesy and then leave it at that. I'd probably say that the job description in the ad and reality described in the interview were different - if only to help them avoid this happening again - but even that you don't need to do.

DarklyDreamingDexter Fri 06-Oct-17 06:22:04

The reasons you have stated for not wanting to take the job are completely reasonable. The idea that you should turn up on the first day and sign the contract there and then is ludicrous. They sound very unprofessional in all respects, so your instincts to turn down the job are completely spot on. I would reply honestly but politely saying the job was not what you originally thought it was, end of story.

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