To make a complaint about a hcp at my drs?

[PhDPepper]

I can’t decide if it’s just me being petty. I don’t want them to get sacked or anything but I want them to change their systems or practices.

I had a molar pregnancy in April and had to have chemo for it. I actually posted about it on here when I got my bfp. I was due on Christmas Day and frankly it’s been pretty shitty.

I needed an ecg on Monday and I sat down and she said she’d need to do my bp.. the conversation went like this...

Her- ooh are you all excited? I can see you’re on lots of tablets to make you feel better...

Me-... .....

her- are you getting ready?

Me- ready for what?

Her- the baby... you’re having a baby in December aren’t you? You’re all excited right?

Me- I’m not pregnant it was a molar pregnancy- I’m here to have an ecg because of the chemo..

her- oh yes! I can see that now.. oh well at least you know you can get pregnant eh? And at least I didn’t say you looked 7 months! . I had a termination with my last one. Best thing I ever did....

I didn’t have a termination- it was a very wanted pregnancy that went very tits up and if the information is there on the screen do you have to be prompted to read it?

I’m actually really hurt by what she said, my DH isn’t really bothered by it but it’s making me upset to think about it. So please help me settle an argument. Aibu to want to complain over this hcp’s thoughtlessness or am I totally overreacting?

[SaneAsABoxOfFrogs]

Oh gosh - not overreacting at all! It doesn't have to be a complaint as such, but maybe wrote a letter just asking if hcps could perhaps be reminded to read over all pertinent medical history before making glib remarks? I'm sorry for what you've been through, and for having to be bombarded with such insensitivity

[RantyMare]

Not overreacting I think that's terrible.
And why isn't your DH bothered? That concerns me too.
Emotions aside ;
She hasn't read your notes
She's made assumptions about your situation
She's made assumptions about your feelings about said situation
Is this the general culture of that practice? !

You actually sound very calm and level headed about it. You'd not be unreasonable to be extremely upset and/or fuming.
I would definitely complain.

[Butterymuffin]

Letter to the practice manager asking how they are going to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else.

[Fluffypinkpyjamas]

Oh Op I’m sorry you had to put up with that after all you’re going through. Please do complain, she shouldn’t be in that job and I would want her fired. What a stupid, nasty woman. Such inappropriate things to say.

[Butterymuffin]

And sorry for your loss and for then having to have that shitty conversation

[Perfectly1mperfect]

Sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope you have support.

You are not being petty. This doctor failed to read her notes properly and then went on to make inappropriate and upsetting comments. You would be very much reasonable to complain imo.

Don't let her get you down though, she was totally out of line and didn't perform her job well.

Take care of yourself.

[enceladus]

You have every right to be upset, unfortunately, these are the assholes in life. You would waste so much energy on trying to get her reprimanded, when you could save that energy for yourself. I had the displeasure of one such individual and I mean I was livid, all out to complain and etc... and my mam just said to me - leave them, just know you will not and can refuse to be seen by that person again, save your energy. This kind of person just won't get it. I left it (unwillingly) but I am glad I did, I was free from that. Months later another nurse told me they all thought that person was obnoxious.

[lalalalyra]

I'd be writing to the practice manager. Especially because she didn't apologise or even seem to realise she'd fucked up.

You sound much more level headed than I would have been!

[WellThisIsShit]

Yanbu of course. How upsetting and unnecessary. So unprofessional, and yes this hcp does need to be stopped from thinking that her behaviour is in any way appropriate or acceptable.

Poor you

[Toddlerteaplease]

Presumably the HCP is not a nurse and genuinely didn’t know what a molar pregnancy actually is. But saw the work pregnancy and assumed you still were pregnant. Even so, her behaviour was appalling and you should definitely make a formal complaint to the practice manager. Not over reacting at all.

[highinthesky]

This is a horrid situation but....

Can I go against the grain here? Don’t be fooled by the uniform! The person who took your ECG and BP was a healthcare assistant, and has been specifically trained for this task and has little knowledge of pathology. Just the statement about the meds tells me she’s unlikely to have 2 GCSEs to rub together: they have nowhere near the ethical training that registered HCPs have. HCAs are not regulated, often on minimum wage and it’s down to the employer to set out expectations around conduct.

Yes, you do need to complain to the Practice Manager as they will not have a clue otherwise. The comments were insensitive, and she needs some clinical supervision around her manner, probably from the practice nurse. At the most basic level she needs to keep it zipped when she doesn’t understand a diagnosis and focus on what she has been tasked to do rather than give her own shit advice.

[TheMaddHugger]

(((((((Mega Soft Hugs)))))))))))) PhDPepper
Yes, put in a complaint. She should get extra training so she doesn't do this again.

[Ropsleybunny]

Write in the very strongest terms to the practice manager. Keep your letter to the point and state exactly what your complaint is.

The problem is, health care assistants aren't nurses with proper training and qualifications, yet they are being let loose on the public to do what a nurse used to do. It's all about saving money but if we don't complain it will just get worse.

[user1507272054]

Oh Piss off highinthesky - I'm a healthcare assistant working at a gp practice with ten years experience and I think I'm very good at my job and have plenty of GCSEs and A Levels thanks! Also I earn a lot more than minimum wage! So don't tar us all with the same brush with your misguided and incorrect assumptions.

Do you know how many Practice nurses on any given day come running to me or one of the other HCS's there when they need help taking blood from someone with tricky veins or they can't work the ECG software and so on? We're not registered but most of us most certainly do have proper training and are just as legally and professionally accountable for our actions.

OP I'm sorry you had to put up with these comments they were completely unacceptable whether this person was a HCA, a nurse or a doctor - in future whoever you see should be wearing a clearly identifiable name badge with their job title on. I wear mine clearly displayed with pride - I'm proud to be an HCA, we are some of the hardest working members of the NHS for some of the lowest pay and many of us have a wealth of training and experience. Highinthesky do you often feel the need to belittle others? for you.

[calamityjam]

HCAs who work in gp surgeries are well trained. Its not the same as a job working in a care home. NHS HCAs have to go through loads of training and are often more experienced and knowledgeable about their job role than some qualified staff. This insensitive comment was down to a thoughtless individual who happened to be a HCA, but who could have easily have been a doctor or nurse. Some people are just like this, they blabber on without first checking facts.

[calamityjam]

HCAs who work in gp surgeries are well trained. Its not the same as a job working in a care home. NHS HCAs have to go through loads of training and are often more experienced and knowledgeable about their job role than some qualified staff. This insensitive comment was down to a thoughtless individual who happened to be a HCA, but who could have easily have been a doctor or nurse. Some people are just like this, they blabber on without first checking facts.

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

I absolutely think you should complain. I also don't think her level of qualification/education is relevant. Ok, the first comment may have been because she didn't understand the term molar pregnancy, but everything after that - 'at least I didn't say you look seven months pregnant', telling you about her termination, 'at least you can get pregnant' - wasn't medical misjudgement, it was poor people skills, an apparent lack of empathy and not knowing where normal and appropriate boundaries lie. Clearly she needs some extra guidance/training on these issues, and complaining would be a completely fair and even helpful response.

I'm really sorry you went through that. I've had three early miscarriages and had a fairly horrible appointment with a dismissive doctor on Tuesday and I was really surprised by how deeply it upset and affected me. I'm also weighing up whether to complain (though I think you have stronger grounds than me) - I think it's important that they're given feedback on how hurtful this kind of treatment can be, especially for someone like you who's already been through so much.

[Nestofvipers]

YANBU at all. How upsetting.

I suspect this is also true Presumably the HCP is not a nurse and genuinely didn’t know what a molar pregnancy actually is. I agree with highinthesky though and she should have kept her mouth shut if she doesn't understand a diagnosis rather than making insensitive comments about her personal situation.

[TammySwansonTwo]

A relative had similar experiences after a miscarriage - midwives calling around the due date, people making idiotic comments, but this is just truly out of order. Absolutely complain. Molar pregnancies are so cruel. Hope you're getting the support you need x

[BellaNoche]

I don't know how you kept it together OP, that is really awful and I think it is definitely something to speak to the practice manager about. It is not on at all.

[Pigface1]

I agree with lisasimpson - reading your account of the conversation, her qualification level isn't really relevant. It's the last set of comments from her that are the problem - once you'd explained the issue, she should have said, 'I'm so sorry' and moved on.

I had a termination two years ago and when I go to the surgery they still sometimes ask if I'm pregnant - the word 'pregnancy' just pops up and they don't have time to read all the records. When I've explained that though, noone has ever said 'oh I had a termination, best thing I ever did.' They've said 'I'm sorry' and moved on.

She failed on basic 'interacting with other humans' - nothing to do with her qualification level.

So I don't think you're BU and I think you should complain to the practice manager.

I hope you are ok and that things improve for you very soon.

[GinSoakedBarroomQueen]

I had similar insensitive comments from a nurse who carried out my pre-op checks. I was stressed anyway because of the upcoming surgery and she made it a million times worse. She was all gossipy about my upcoming procedure and she regaled me with horror stories of people she knew personally who'd had the same disease.

I didn't want her to lose her job, but I did write to the hospital and told them about her comments. I felt it important that she, and others in the same role, receive some guidance and training on being sensitive. The hospital were very apologetic and did indeed give her some additional training, which I was pleased about.

I wrote to them, not to get her in trouble, but to try to avoid another patient like me being dealt with badly. So I'd encourage you to write to the practice, if only to prevent her doing the same to other patients.

[KoolKoala07]

highinthesky I find that comment regarding hca's highly offensive. I know many hca's including my mum and she is incredible at her job. You are very rude.

[KoolKoala07]

Not to mention she's been in the role over 30 years so has a great deal of knowledge.

[BillBrysonsBeard]

I'm not a complainer and let most things slide, but that is awful. She should have read the notes especially when dealing with such a sensitive issue like pregnancy. And wtf mentioning her termination? Really unprofessional.