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Is it rude to wear a top like this to a consultation with pain specialist

(124 Posts)
duckduckmouse Thu 05-Oct-17 22:08:04

I'm really fed up of the service I'm getting and my condition. I'm really desperate to have another child and my medication which I detest isn't compatible with pregnancy.

I want the pain specialist to make a permanent solution or a semi permanent solution by a physical intervention such as denervation or a nerve block because I cannot continue to have a life based on pain and medication.

I take maximum dose of gabapentin and del truly abandoned by the team.

I want to send a strong message which is that I want to have no medication in my life so that I can have another child.

What do you think?

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 05-Oct-17 22:09:45

I don't think he'll make the connection.

TheSpottedZebra Thu 05-Oct-17 22:09:47

It's just a tshirt.
I think you need to talk to your doctor with actual spoken words.

YogiYoni Thu 05-Oct-17 22:10:28

I love the Selfish Mother stuff. I don't think you should rely on it to speak to a consultant though hmm

Presumably you've tried saying what you wrote above to the consultant? If so, is it worth asking for a second opinion.

LittleBirdBlues Thu 05-Oct-17 22:10:43

Wouldn't it be better to just tell then what you've written above?

I don't really understand what the slogan in the shirt has to do with anything?

Surely people on painkillers can also be wonder women...?

What am I missing?

Moanyoldcow Thu 05-Oct-17 22:10:54

I'm sorry for the terrible pain you're in but I cannot see how a slogan on a t-shirt will help you with your message.

You're better off just explaining it like you did to us.

bbcessex Thu 05-Oct-17 22:11:13

I feel very sorry for you indeed. It is pure misery to be in persistent pain for so long.

I hope you can convince whoever holds the cards that a decision is critical.

I'm not sure that the sweatshirt will sway them either way, but it's a talking point!

SmitheringSmithison Thu 05-Oct-17 22:11:24

Personally I didn’t get any of that from the top. It would be more productive to speak to them, or go via pals if you feel you can’t.

Vonklump Thu 05-Oct-17 22:11:36

I think the top is fine to wear to the appointment, but it won't convey your message.

If you say what you've written here you will get the point across clearly and effectively.

NC4now Thu 05-Oct-17 22:11:51

Why not just speak to them?
It's not rude, it's just a really odd way to communicate.

FrancisCrawford Thu 05-Oct-17 22:12:22

I hope the pain specialist is able to help you.

However, I wouldn’t get the message you want to give from that top - I’d just see it as a top with a slogan on it.

Nothing wrong with you wearing it, of course, it is fine.

Would it help to have some notes with you so you can make sure to put across all the information? Or could a friend or relative be there to support you?

AVirtuousLife Thu 05-Oct-17 22:12:33

Maybe I'm being dim but in what way does that sweatshirt send the message that you don't want to be on pain medication and that you want another child?

Also, what have the consultants said when you've asked about nerve blocks etc.?

NC4now Thu 05-Oct-17 22:13:17

Sorry, that sounded harsh. I do understand you're frustrated. It must be horrible. But being clear and candid is much more likely to get the results you want. flowers

RaindropsAndSparkles Thu 05-Oct-17 22:13:26

I think you should put in writing what you want to Say, like you have here, and hand it to the surgeon if you can't articulate it.

Migraleve Thu 05-Oct-17 22:15:04

Sorry I don't really get it.

duckduckmouse Thu 05-Oct-17 22:16:12

Thanks everyone good pointers, I do have notes and I will be discussing them at the meeting

Here's what I have: what do you think?

I'm at the end of my tether. Really so fed up.

They are all trying to keep me quiet with gabapentin, amatryptaline and codeine or Tramadol which I cannot take any more as it makes me feel so poorly and miserable.

Every mother is a Wonder Woman, a fighter, a provider and selfless. I just wanted to be a bit cheeky so that I'm human. I don't know.

Think I'll just stick to my normal outfits I wear on a day to day basis. I know the nurse and hospital so well it's just like a second (shit) home.

AnyFucker Thu 05-Oct-17 22:16:24

I think you should speak with words

Some letters on a sweat shirt says nothing at all

TestingTestingWonTooFree Thu 05-Oct-17 22:16:30

The top is irrelevant. Not rude.

Mari50 Thu 05-Oct-17 22:17:00

The slogan on that top didn't relay the message you went on to explain at all. As a AHP I wouldn't pay any attention to the slogan on your top and it certainly wouldn't affect my management of a patient.
If you spoke to me about how you felt . . .
That would help more than passive aggressive sweatshirts.

Mari50 Thu 05-Oct-17 22:18:32

And believe you me, every mother is not a Wonder Woman- a fighter a provider or selfless.
If you wore this top I'd think you just liked the film. . .

duckduckmouse Thu 05-Oct-17 22:19:51

@Mari50 what is an AHP?

I have a good relationship with pain consultant but never manage to fucking see him.

He won't treat me privately, think it's to do with fear of working to treat someone that the trust he works for damaged.

duckduckmouse Thu 05-Oct-17 22:20:30

@Mari50 I've never seen the film with Wonder Woman in but I like the sentiment.

Most mothers are, even if they don't cope well.

Madbum Thu 05-Oct-17 22:21:56

I’m sorry you’re in pain but are you living in lala land? Your consultant isn’t going to give two fucks about your top or even notice it for that matter.
You will make yourself look a tit if you try to refer to your jumper during your appointment, just stick to your notes and be clear about what you want.
Doctors aren’t going to be swayed by romantic notions about Wonder Woman.

duckduckmouse Thu 05-Oct-17 22:22:59

Ok @Madbum

CotswoldStrife Thu 05-Oct-17 22:23:11

What exactly is the issue here? That they won't do a surgical procedure and are keeping you on medication?

They may have a very good reason for doing that so it would be far more productive to discuss the reasons they won't do a surgical procedure rather than wear a t-shirt that isn't going to mean anything to them (or me, tbh)

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