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To avoid inlaws

(4 Posts)
Wellonlyifihavetoo Thu 05-Oct-17 13:38:21

I recently found out I’m pregnant, a surprise but very much a happy one. My pil are currently ttc (second marriage for fil) mil is younger than me by 5 yrs. Dp told fil our news and it went down like a cup of cold sick, mil txt me and said although she was happy for us she’s going to struggle with us being so happy.
I understand her feelings as I had mc in the past and it was so sad having friends pregnant when I was struggling with our loss.
I said to dp that we should keep away from them in the meantime but he says they need to grow up and accept that we all have a life to lead and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Aibu to keep my distance even though there’s a couple of family events coming up that we would all be at (I would give them a miss) just to avoid awkwardness?

PandorasXbox Thu 05-Oct-17 13:49:42

Congratulations smile

I think it was uncalled for that she texted you with that message personally.. it was only ever going to make you feel awkward to say the least. Personally I would carry on going to any family events and not hide away, you haven’t done anything wrong.

Mittens1969 Thu 05-Oct-17 14:03:39

No, your DP is right, and I’m speaking as someone who was unable to have my own biological children and adopted my DDs. It’s hard not being able to conceive but it’s never right to make other people feel guilty about their good news. A pregnancy should be a happy time for all the family.

Your MIL will find it hard, of course, but the right response is to say to you ‘Congratulations’ and then shed her own tears in private or with her DH. I had to learn to do that through my SIL’s pregnancies and when friends became pregnant.

Congratulations, OP. flowersHopefully your MIL will have her own good news soon, but sadly it doesn’t always work out that way.

Wellonlyifihavetoo Thu 05-Oct-17 14:26:59

Thankyou for your replies, I’m trying hard not to be upset with their responses but it’s difficult. Il speak to my dp again because I don’t think he realises just how much it’s upset me

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