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to think people with no interests outside work can be difficult to work with

(20 Posts)
user1485342611 Thu 05-Oct-17 13:08:37

There's a couple of people where I work who seem to have absolutely no interests outside of work and, as a result, become over invested in the job. For instance, a woman I work with who practically lives in the office is ridiculously picky about everything and drives everyone mad by over complicating every task leading to missed deadlines or everyone having to stay late to get things done in time, when they've actually got other plans for the evening.

This week, our Manager, who also eats, sleeps and breathes work is annoyed because she asked us this morning to all to come in on Saturday because she's suddenly decided she 'needs all hands on deck' for a job she's been completely hogging to herself for weeks, despite many offers to help.. However, one of us will be away for the weekend, another has a wedding to go to on Sat., another has her child's birthday party and I have tickets booked for a play that cost a fortune and that I really want to go to. She's making remarks about 'commitment', 'don't often ask' etc.
None of us are being deliberately unhelpful and if we were free we would definitely come in. But assuming, on a Thur morning, that everyone will be able to drop everything or rearrange their Sat plans when weekend work is not part of our contract is just not practical.

So AIBU to think people who don't have much going on outside work can sometimes unintentionally treat colleagues in a way that's really inconsiderate.

WhiteInRed Thu 05-Oct-17 13:32:46

Yanbu. If she continues to make remarks say something like 'it must be brilliant to have no outside commitments im sorrry my child/life etc interfers with my UNcontracted hours'. Or 'I would be happy to help but only with sufficient notice'. They can't force you. Make a snide comment back and walk away. Oh and enjoy your show!

Coffeetasteslikeshit Thu 05-Oct-17 13:34:35

Yanbu, I've also suffered from someone at work like this.

Nancy91 Thu 05-Oct-17 13:34:50

I used to work with a woman who was the same. Really picky and she used to get to the office hours early and leave late and then moan that others weren't doing the same. I always wanted to tell her to get a life but she was the type of person that cried all the time.


QueenLaBeefah Thu 05-Oct-17 13:36:08


They are also the type who eventually suffer from burnout. Xx

user1485342611 Thu 05-Oct-17 13:38:00

Thanks. She was starting to make me feel guilty (in an angry kind of way). I feel sorry for her but she needs to get some perspective and realise people have other priorities/needs and work isn't the be all and end all to most of us.

Wontbedoingthatanytimesoon Thu 05-Oct-17 13:38:20

Have you actually spoken to her before and asked about her home life ? Would she even tell you or could she be private?

user1485342611 Thu 05-Oct-17 13:45:18

She's quite a private person. I think she still lives in the old family home, but both her parents are dead now. You never hear her talking of a restaurant she's been to, or a play or film she's seen, or mentioning a friend and she never mentions any interests outside of work. For instance, the other woman who would be at the same level as her and around the same age talks about her golf club and her nephews and nieces and various friends she's been on holidays with and that kind of thing.
But my manager just talks about work, or something that's been in the news.

Gromance02 Thu 05-Oct-17 13:55:07

YANBU. I know work is important but it really just serves the purpose of funding the fun things in life to do. A means to an end.

user1485342611 Thu 05-Oct-17 14:04:49

Because of the work I do I sometimes need peace and quiet to research, complete reports etc. As a result I have a long standing agreement, since before she was my Manager, to work from home a few times a month. She can't stop it, but she absolutely hates it and is always trying to invent reasons why I'll need to be on site that particular day or finding an excuse to ring me at 9am or some such. It's very tiresome and annoying, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. She really can't seem to let go or relax about work at all.

BeyondThePage Thu 05-Oct-17 14:09:57

Oh dear - I never mention any interests when I'm at work either - I have plenty, but am not interested in office chit chat, I go to work to work, I haven't time to chat if I want to get the work done. My friends are all from outside the world of work.

But I would never expect anyone to drop everything and turn up on a day off.

Runningoverthefields Thu 05-Oct-17 14:20:11

I feel really sorry for her - her life sounds so empty. But YADNBU. I've worked with people like this too and they're a nightmare. Be kind but firm and don't explain too much - no need to tell her exactly what you're doing or why you aren't free. It's not your working hours so you don't have to be available for work and you don't have to give an excuse as to why you aren't. Just a regretful shake of the head and say 'I'm not available on Saturdays. But of course I'll help you as much as I can within my working hours - what would you like me to do?'

I used to explain and make excuses to these people, but it just gave them ammunition. The only thing that cured me of it was going freelance for a while. Then when a client asked me to come in for an 'all hands on deck' on the weekend I'd say 'Sure, but I'll obviously invoice you at double time as per my contract.' then they'd say, 'Oh yes, you're freelance aren't you.... erm, no need to come in.' Amazing how, when they were paying by the hour, they could cope without me on the weekend and how focussed they were at using my time effectively grin

Also I've a few 100% 'committed' people working late nights and weekends and then being made redundant - turned out the commitment was very one-sided...

Runningoverthefields Thu 05-Oct-17 14:21:42

Line above should read "I've 'seen' a few..."

GreyCloudsToday Thu 05-Oct-17 14:26:20

YANBU, it's very tedious!

Mymycherrypie Thu 05-Oct-17 14:26:28

I worked with a woman like this. She was married to another person at the firm and all her exes and friends worked there too and they couldn't let go of work, even when they were all supposedly at the pub. It would just be another meeting. Her husband left her for someone at another branch and it was so so so awkward.

i really felt for her actually because the new woman just slotted in where she had been and she found her free time very difficult because she would always be thinking about work. Every conversation came back to it. I sometimes wonder if she really missed her husband or just the position it gave her in the company.

zippydoodaar Thu 05-Oct-17 14:33:50

Also I've a few 100% 'committed' people working late nights and weekends and then being made redundant - turned out the commitment was very one-sided...

^ 100% agree with this.

I don't really do the office chit chat thing as I like to get out on time.

She is BU to expect everyone to come in on Saturday. Occasionally I would say yes but very often I say I am unavailable. It's none of her business what you are doing. Sitting on the sofa eating chocolate can be unavailable. Do what is right for you.

existentialmoment Thu 05-Oct-17 14:38:10

Just because people don't talk about their life outside work it doesn't mean they don't have one!

user1485342611 Thu 05-Oct-17 14:47:13

No, but most people will mention in passing that yes, they've seen that film as well, or some such.

BeyondThePage Thu 05-Oct-17 14:50:46

I work in retail - there is no time to talk.

You work for 4 hours take a break - which is not at the same time as anybody else, work 2 more hours and go home - again not at the same time as anybody else - these "passing" opportunities do not always exist.

Ploppie4 Thu 05-Oct-17 14:53:57

The problem is that’s she’s made unrealistic impractical demands of her staff. It would be different if you had notice and had the time and were willing.

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