I really have just reached the end of my tether with everything.
I feel like shit. I have done for weeks. I have some ongoing health issues. Nothing major. I need an op to sort it out but I'm too fat and can't discipline myself to lose weight. Plus I only get a weeks sick pay so I can't afford to take time off now, saving it for the op.
My job is shit. I'm overloaded with work yet no one notices. I am stuck in a horrendous open plan office with 150 other people. O have to exchange pleasantries and banal chit chat all fucking day long and I hate it. None of them have any idea about me or my life, no one does.
I have this year had to support my partner through a court case. I couldn't tell people because they would judge. Even now it's resolved I still can't tell anyone because people will think no smoke without fire etc.
I love my partner but supporting him through this has been horrendous. He has lots of health issues too, is often in terrible pain. His mental state is pretty poor. He has long term depression and daily suicidal thoughts for as long as he can remember. He's never made an attempt though and therefore doesn't see any benefit to counseling. But now I know it's yet another burden on me, though i know he didn't mean it to be.
I'm just on my knees. My GP offered me citalopram as I seem 'low' (no shit) but said it won't actually change anything just stop me feeling upset about it. So that seems pretty pointless.
I feel like I'm caught in a really bad treadmill where everything is one load of crap after another. Hearing other peoples mundane shit which frankly I couldn't care less about. No one gives a fuck about my problems after all.
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just had enough
38 replies
sosickofallofit · 05/10/2017 09:20
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