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AIBU to not answer the call when I've just finished work?!

(50 Posts)
Glitterbug83 Wed 04-Oct-17 19:51:42

So, literally just finished work at 7pm. Drove home. Stepped through the door and DM has my nephews on loudspeaker and says 'do you want to speak to your aunt?'. Much as I love them, I've had a seriously crap day at work and have literally just stepped through the bloody door. Why not ask me first if I want to talk on the phone or not? So awkward. Why do parents do this and hand you a call when you don't actually want to talk???

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 04-Oct-17 19:53:29

Would it kill you to have a two minute chat and they say you're busting for the toilet?

HarrietKettleWasHere Wed 04-Oct-17 19:53:35

Well, they weren't to know, were they?

tippz Wed 04-Oct-17 19:57:42

Why not tell her! Say 'next time anyone is on the phone, when I am on my way in from school, I don't wanna speak to them.'

kaytee87 Wed 04-Oct-17 19:59:47

All you had to do was say something like 'love you guys but I'm bursting for a pee, speak soon'

MinervaSaidThat Wed 04-Oct-17 19:59:55

Well, they weren't to know, were they?

It's not the nephews OP is annoyed with hmm

YANBU, OP. Could you pretend you're on a call on your mobile and go upstairs?

HarrietKettleWasHere Wed 04-Oct-17 20:01:19

'They' as in her mum ASWELL.

People aren't physic, just say a quick hello and dash off.

Percephone Wed 04-Oct-17 20:02:07

My mother does this. Yanbu.

MagicFajita Wed 04-Oct-17 20:02:44

YANBU. Having a phone shoved in my face , and being made to feel obligated to speak with someone when I've just got home really pisses me off.

Give me five minutes to hang up my coat , put some slobby clothing on and make a coffee before those kind of demands are made!

Hassled Wed 04-Oct-17 20:03:23

You just need to explain it to them. I had similar with DH one the days he works from home - I'd get in from work dead on my feet, barely able to articulate a sentence, and I'd just want to sit for 10 minutes or so. He wanted to chat about his day and my day and plans for the weekend - and it made me murderous. When I explained, he was fine, he backed off and now we talk when I'm ready. So just explain and ask if they can time the calls a bit later.

HarrietKettleWasHere Wed 04-Oct-17 20:04:17

But it's loudspeaker- just yell a hello as you walk through the room, no harm done.

topcat2014 Wed 04-Oct-17 20:07:00

I often come home to find my friends are already round - that can be a bit of shock..

sizeofalentil Wed 04-Oct-17 20:15:48

My dad used to do this to me all the time when I moved back home for a bit. It's really annoying. YANBU.

MrsPestilence Wed 04-Oct-17 20:19:54

Your DM?

If you don't want to take part in family life 'Hi, how are you?, must dash, need a wee', sort of conversations, move out.

Glitterbug83 Wed 04-Oct-17 20:25:22

Well, I was so furious I just glared at DM. She said 'oh, well... Your aunty has Ermmm..... Ermmm... Gone to get changed! So she can't talk now.' So, not only have I had a crap day but now I look like an antisocial weird tit. Great. I truly do love my nephews to bits, but I would much prefer to talk to them later shock

Glitterbug83 Wed 04-Oct-17 20:29:52

I should add that I'm 7 weeks pregnant so the sensible thing to do would have been to use the wee excuse but I just couldn't even think of that. confused

AudTheDeepMinded Wed 04-Oct-17 20:30:27

Have you got kids yet? If not, enjoy the luxury of being able to choose some time and space for yourself. When I step through the door I'm besieged with no option to avoid!

AudTheDeepMinded Wed 04-Oct-17 20:31:14

Ahh, that explains a lot. Totally reasonable of you!

MadMags Wed 04-Oct-17 20:32:09

Why was your mum in your house before you got home?? confused

gandalf456 Wed 04-Oct-17 20:35:27

I hate that, too. In fact, I hate the phone full stop. I'd actually rather speak to someone face to face than on the phone - at least then, it is pre-arranged. It always rings at these sorts of times.

NerrSnerr Wed 04-Oct-17 20:38:18

Why was your mum in your house before you got home??

This is what I wondered. If it's her house I'd say you need to suck it up. If she's in your house I'd tell her you'd rather have time after you get home.

Glitterbug83 Wed 04-Oct-17 20:38:36

Aid, Yes, I have a one year old. We're staying at my mum's place whilst we're undergoing renovations at ours hence my mum being home when I got in from work.

Glitterbug83 Wed 04-Oct-17 20:40:25

Is it not common etiquette to ask someone if they want to talk on the phone first rather than presuming it the minute they get home? Like, seriously?

AudTheDeepMinded Wed 04-Oct-17 20:42:20

I think perhaps an adult talking to some children might get caught up in there excitement and not think beyond that. Thoughtless yes but a serious crime? no. Have a chat and it won't happen again.

MrsPestilence Wed 04-Oct-17 20:46:01

It is common etiquette to greet your family and then make excuses as necessary.

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