Noisy office neighbour - I'll never last the week

[catweasel44]

I rent a lovely office in a building. There are 6 offices and we all get on well. There's a shared kitchen, we bring cakes in every now and then, all good.

Someone new has moved in. I know them vaguely but not well.

HE KEEPS SINGING. AND WHISTLING.

What do I do? Suggest some duets? Get a big red chair I can turn round? Ear muffs?

Help! I love my quiet peaceful office.

[MrsExpo]

Have you asked him to keep it down a bit as you're trying to work/concentrate/talk on the phone etc. Maybe he doesn't realise how annoying it is to you. Also - does it bother everyone else?

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

You're paying rent for a quiet office. You need to tell him that he has to be quiet - it's ridiculous that he should be making that sort of noise when he's disturbing others.

[catweasel44]

I know - but I feel awkward.

I mean - can you turn the radio down, or do you mind if I close your door is one thing, but 'can you stop singing Eurythmics at the top of your voice' is quite another.

I think he's quite attention seeking.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

It's easy, though. Go into his office and say "I don't know whether you're aware of it, but when you whistle and sing I can hear it in my office. I hired this space so that I could work quietly, so please could you keep the noise down?" Smile and go back to your own office.

[RoryItsSnowing]

Definitely attention seeking. Maybe after being consistently ignored for a few days he'll get the message and shut up? Or he could be one of those people who can't handle silence and has to fill it with anything...

[TheKidsAreTakingMySanity]

Wait, he's singing Eurythmics? Sing along!!!

[AliceLostInWonderland321]

I would just go to his office and say "I can hear you singing and whistling a lot whilst I'm in my office and I'm struggling to concentrate, would you mind keeping it down a bit?"

He'll probably be a happy, jokey man if he's going around singing all day!

Maybe you will make a friend OP. Let us know when you're on X-Factor with singing office man

[AliceLostInWonderland321]

Don't think he's necessarily attention seeking btw.

Some people whistle all the time and can't help it. They don't realise they're doing it.

[KoolKoala07]

Tell him that 'sweet dreams' are made of peace and quiet or that he really is a 'thorn in your side'

[Ghostontoast]

There was someone in a summer placement who sang badly out of key to herself all the time. I was going to ask the woman who she sat nearest to (the office dragon) how she could bear it all day, but luckily I didn't as it turned out it was her niece!

[gunsandbanjos]

Just ask him in a friendly way. He’s probably oblivious.

[DingDongDenny]

Yes Kool Koala

Then tell him You have placed a chill on my heart and when tomorrow comes if you don't shut up baby's gonna cry

[Lotsawobblybits]

Have a word with your landlord, with some details of the exact times and behaviour.

We are in a similar position to you - office rent in shared building and the Site/Building Manager deals with any problems like that. He told me he keeps it anonymous as well so it prevents any reprisal, not that we have complained or been accused so to speak!

[Belleende]

We have an open plan office. Recently we moved, and the first day I was there I heard someone whilstling really loudly, and not particularly in tune. Before brain engaged gob said l, "who the hell thinks whistling is ok in an open plan office?".
The culprit turned and looked at me, looked a bit abash, but the whistling ceased. Turns out it had been driving everyone bonkers but no one would say anything. Sometimes the direct approach is necessary.

[MapMyMum]

If you cant face saying it to him directly could you leave a note? Nothing stroppy, in fact make it jokey like pp have suggested but make sure the point doesnt get lost

[Lindy2]

Assuming the offices are a professional environment then an adult should be able to behave in an appropriate manner and work without disturbing other people.
Next time he's singing just ask him to stop as people are there, in their offices, trying to get on with their work.
He probably thinks he's hilarious. You need to point out to him he's not.

[HeebieJeebies456]

Order one of these and sneakily put it up......when anyone mentions it plant the thought in their heads that building management/landlord must be behind it.
Hopefully no one will actually think to question landlord....

[KoolKoala07]

dingdong

[catweasel44]

I might just try that! Or maybe a Wayne's World-esque "No Stairway" sign

[faithinthesound]

Sometimes I don't understand people on here.

"I have an interpersonal problem that could and quite probably would be resolve in moments if I simply spoke up, but I'm British/socially awkward/too nervous/too shy to speak up. What can I do?"

Well, nothing. You either speak up, or you put up. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but you came on AIBU presumably to ask if you were BU. I think you are. There's a simple solution, it just involves taking yourself out of your comfort zone for a minute.

He doesn't know there's a problem, so he has no reason to modify his behavior. Instead of silently seething, or passive aggressively putting up ridiculous signs, or posting a very cowardy-custard note under his door, what on earth is so wrong and so hard about simply saying in a pleasant, polite fashion, "Can you please keep it down? I'm finding it really hard to concentrate." Because at the moment, you're essentially asking him to read your mind, divine that you have a problem, and modify his behavior, all without you giving any indication at all. How reasonable is that? (Hint: it isn't, at all.)

OP, I used to sit and seethe, but I'm not made for that, and so I would eventually snap and throw the most revolting, juvenile tantrums about these kinds of little problems - exactly the kind of problem that I could have solved by speaking up politely in the first place. I've had to learn (and if I'm honest, I'm still learning) that speaking up is the far better method to deal. I think you need to, as well.

[Ilovetolurk]

Denied!

Well she could soeak up yes but actually in this case as a shared environment I would Report it to building management, they are paid to have the awkward conversations, not OP

[faithinthesound]

It would be the equivalent of bringing a machine gun to a knife fight - complete overkill. Why should she take it that high without saying a word to him?

Every HR department I have worked under had policies of speaking to the person involved to try and work things out like adults before running to HR. How is this any different? It’s just a grown up version of tattling to mommy without trying to be “big people” and work it out yourself first.

If you do go to them, prepare to not be taken seriously. Making a complaint to them straight off the bat, for pity’s sake. And that poor guy - annoying he may be, but annoying he doesn’t know he’s being because you’ve opted not to tell him, and tattle on him instead. Imagine if someone took you to HR or the equivalent over something that was, from your perspective, completely out of the blue.

[Mxyzptlk]

I would just go to his office and say "I can hear you singing and whistling a lot whilst I'm in my office and I'm struggling to concentrate, would you mind keeping it down a bit?"

Speak up, OP!

[Ilovetolurk]

faith they don't work for the sane organisation "HR" is irrelevant

[Babyblade]

Be brave - speak up now and get it over and done with now while he's new. It'll only get worse the longer you leave it, and the fear of speaking up is likely worse than the actual act.

YANBU to expect a quiet and peaceful working environment.