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AIBU?

To be scared about this ex-colleagues message to me?

312 replies

Fosterdog123 · 03/10/2017 20:53

Ex-colleague. Both left company earlier this year. Worked with him for about 4 years on various projects. Always professional but I knew he was fond of me. Maintained contact outside work but totally platonically (he's married with children and I've been with someone for 12 years). Saw each other in a group a couple of times and went out for lunch once. He drove. In the car when he was dropping me off, he kind of lunged at me and gave me a big hug. I felt very awkward and he'd totally overstepped the mark and he knew he had. Since then, he's text a lot. I responded benignly at first, saying I was busy. More recently, I didn't text back or pick up his calls. I then blocked his number but a voicemail has just come through from him. It says, "if you don't pick up my calls, you know I'm going to come round don't you and you know what that means don't you. You can run but you can't hide". What would you do?

OP posts:

Report

WipsGlitter · 03/10/2017 20:54

Report it to the police.

EnidNextDoor · 03/10/2017 20:54

Police.

mumofone234 · 03/10/2017 20:56

Is this some sort of joke that's not funny or do you think he's actually serious?

ApproachingATunnel · 03/10/2017 20:56

Next time he calls get your partner to pick up and tell him some truths. Failing that- police.

mirren3 · 03/10/2017 20:57

Seriously, I'd log it with the Police, keep the voicemail. A friend's son left a similar sort of message on an ex's phone and he was charged with misuse of the telecommunications act or something similar. The police took it very seriously.

64PooLane · 03/10/2017 20:58

Wtf. Do report this. Disturbing.

Fosterdog123 · 03/10/2017 20:58

I'm not sure if he thinks it's funny or not. He's a very bright guy with emotional intelligence, so it's not that he's oblivious. He's not joking when he says he'll come round - I do think he'll just pitch up.

OP posts:

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 03/10/2017 20:58

Report him OP

That's very wierd , make a statement as for all you know he Might have form for this ?

jellysock · 03/10/2017 20:59

Very creepy. Police for sure.

Racmactac · 03/10/2017 20:59

Wtf. Creepy.

Auspiciouspanda · 03/10/2017 21:00

Police - that sounds like a threat to me.

Fosterdog123 · 03/10/2017 21:00

Wtf indeed. I'm sat here scared to death. I don't live with my OH --and he's not here often enough to necessarily be here when he rings. Plus I've blocked his number anyway, so his calls don't come through but obviously, voicemails do.

OP posts:

Graceflorrick · 03/10/2017 21:01

You need to be explicitly clear that you do not want contact with him, if he continues, then police involvement is justifiable. At this point, you haven't actually been honest with him.

alltheworld · 03/10/2017 21:01

Police.

OlennasWimple · 03/10/2017 21:01

Report to the police and ask their advice about whether you send him a message saying that that was completely inappropriate and he is to stop sending you messages, or whether you just block him.

bonfireheart · 03/10/2017 21:02

Police.

Toomuchocolate · 03/10/2017 21:03

I'd phone the police. He'd likely get a harassment warning.

Neverknowing · 03/10/2017 21:04

Absolutely police then they'll know if he turns up and you need to call them !'

Fosterdog123 · 03/10/2017 21:05

Grace - you could say that I haven't been honest but who just keeps on texting, calling and threatening to come round when the other person has said they're busy (code for leave me alone) and then doesn't respond at all? ESPECIALLY when it's a man to a woman. You'd get the message.

OP posts:

0ccamsRazor · 03/10/2017 21:06

'Futher un wanted communication from you will be treated as harassment and I will contact the police.'

Then block him on all methods of communication, social media etc.

If he tries to contact you or goes to your home, keep the door and windows locked and phone the police.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 03/10/2017 21:08

Jesus. What scale of contact are we talking before you blocked him? Does ha have form for this?

Definitely report this to the police, and ask them to serve him with a harassment warning. He sounds batshit.

Fosterdog123 · 03/10/2017 21:08

I'm not on any social media with him and I'm pretty tight on home security, so rationally, I know he couldn't get in but I'm still crapping myself here.

OP posts:

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deepestdarkestperu · 03/10/2017 21:09

Jeez, ring the police! He's threatening you.

Keep all your doors and windows locked. Can you get a friend to come and stay with you tonight?

HateIsNotGood · 03/10/2017 21:09

Just call him up and say that you're not interested and he can forget about thinking he has anything to pursue. Hardly 'police' level yet - so he could be a murderous bastard but I think they are far and few in reality.

MadgeMidgerson · 03/10/2017 21:10

Police. Do not respond as any response is fuel to the fire

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