Advanced search

To be scared about this ex-colleagues message to me?

(313 Posts)
Fosterdog123 Tue 03-Oct-17 20:53:21

Ex-colleague. Both left company earlier this year. Worked with him for about 4 years on various projects. Always professional but I knew he was fond of me. Maintained contact outside work but totally platonically (he's married with children and I've been with someone for 12 years). Saw each other in a group a couple of times and went out for lunch once. He drove. In the car when he was dropping me off, he kind of lunged at me and gave me a big hug. I felt very awkward and he'd totally overstepped the mark and he knew he had. Since then, he's text a lot. I responded benignly at first, saying I was busy. More recently, I didn't text back or pick up his calls. I then blocked his number but a voicemail has just come through from him. It says, "if you don't pick up my calls, you know I'm going to come round don't you and you know what that means don't you. You can run but you can't hide". What would you do?

WipsGlitter Tue 03-Oct-17 20:54:52

Report it to the police.

EnidNextDoor Tue 03-Oct-17 20:54:58


mumofone234 Tue 03-Oct-17 20:56:08

Is this some sort of joke that's not funny or do you think he's actually serious?

ApproachingATunnel Tue 03-Oct-17 20:56:39

Next time he calls get your partner to pick up and tell him some truths. Failing that- police.

mirren3 Tue 03-Oct-17 20:57:35

Seriously, I'd log it with the Police, keep the voicemail. A friend's son left a similar sort of message on an ex's phone and he was charged with misuse of the telecommunications act or something similar. The police took it very seriously.

64PooLane Tue 03-Oct-17 20:58:12

Wtf. Do report this. Disturbing.

Fosterdog123 Tue 03-Oct-17 20:58:35

I'm not sure if he thinks it's funny or not. He's a very bright guy with emotional intelligence, so it's not that he's oblivious. He's not joking when he says he'll come round - I do think he'll just pitch up.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Tue 03-Oct-17 20:58:57

Report him OP

That's very wierd , make a statement as for all you know he Might have form for this ?

jellysock Tue 03-Oct-17 20:59:13

Very creepy. Police for sure.

Racmactac Tue 03-Oct-17 20:59:43

Wtf. Creepy.

Auspiciouspanda Tue 03-Oct-17 21:00:37

Police - that sounds like a threat to me.

Fosterdog123 Tue 03-Oct-17 21:00:57

Wtf indeed. I'm sat here scared to death. I don't live with my OH --and he's not here often enough to necessarily be here when he rings. Plus I've blocked his number anyway, so his calls don't come through but obviously, voicemails do.

Graceflorrick Tue 03-Oct-17 21:01:03

You need to be explicitly clear that you do not want contact with him, if he continues, then police involvement is justifiable. At this point, you haven't actually been honest with him.

alltheworld Tue 03-Oct-17 21:01:41


OlennasWimple Tue 03-Oct-17 21:01:43

Report to the police and ask their advice about whether you send him a message saying that that was completely inappropriate and he is to stop sending you messages, or whether you just block him.

bonfireheart Tue 03-Oct-17 21:02:02


Toomuchocolate Tue 03-Oct-17 21:03:53

I'd phone the police. He'd likely get a harassment warning.

Neverknowing Tue 03-Oct-17 21:04:57

Absolutely police then they'll know if he turns up and you need to call them !'

Fosterdog123 Tue 03-Oct-17 21:05:44

Grace - you could say that I haven't been honest but who just keeps on texting, calling and threatening to come round when the other person has said they're busy (code for leave me alone) and then doesn't respond at all? ESPECIALLY when it's a man to a woman. You'd get the message.

0ccamsRazor Tue 03-Oct-17 21:06:37

'Futher un wanted communication from you will be treated as harassment and I will contact the police.'

Then block him on all methods of communication, social media etc.

If he tries to contact you or goes to your home, keep the door and windows locked and phone the police.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Tue 03-Oct-17 21:08:08

Jesus. What scale of contact are we talking before you blocked him? Does ha have form for this?

Definitely report this to the police, and ask them to serve him with a harassment warning. He sounds batshit.

Fosterdog123 Tue 03-Oct-17 21:08:53

I'm not on any social media with him and I'm pretty tight on home security, so rationally, I know he couldn't get in but I'm still crapping myself here.

deepestdarkestperu Tue 03-Oct-17 21:09:04

Jeez, ring the police! He's threatening you.

Keep all your doors and windows locked. Can you get a friend to come and stay with you tonight?

HateIsNotGood Tue 03-Oct-17 21:09:19

Just call him up and say that you're not interested and he can forget about thinking he has anything to pursue. Hardly 'police' level yet - so he could be a murderous bastard but I think they are far and few in reality.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: