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To lie about my suicide attempt injuries

(92 Posts)
ThatHippyDippyShit Mon 02-Oct-17 21:56:16

Backstory:

Took a massive overdose back in January 2016, was unconscious for 30 hours before I was found. As a result a massive part of my left leg muscle completely died due to lack of oxygen flow to the area. I'm also left with a foot drop due to nerve damage, I have to wear a splint all the time to able me to walk safely now. I almost lost the leg completely due to an awful infection after my first operation but they managed to save it.

But I am now left with half of the side of my leg removed, as well as a huge scar on my thigh where they removed skin for a skin graft.

Obviously no-one can see when I'm wearing trousers but I would like to have the confidence to wear a skirt/dress one day despite what I look like now.

I haven't really left the house much since this happened due to anxiety, but I have a DD now and want to start going out and living my life. But what do I say when people ask about my leg? My splint is visible at all times and I have a slightly unsteady looking walk now so even when my wound is covered I'll still probably get asked about that. I really don't want to have to explain to people I have just met that it's due to a suicide attempt.

Would I be unreasonable to lie and say I was in a car accident? It feels wrong to lie about such a thing, but the idea of telling the truth makes me so uncomfortable.

Please go easy on me, I'm a sensitive soul.

PaperdollCartoon Mon 02-Oct-17 21:59:46

No, you wouldn't be unreasonable at all. It's totally up to you how you want to present yourself. I have extensive self harm scars which couldn't be mistaken for anything else, I don't cover them (except in client meetings) but I'm aware of how people might be perceive me because of them. If you are able to pass your scars off as accidental, why not take back that control of how you're perceived.

And flowers I hope you're feeling much better now .

Schmoozer Mon 02-Oct-17 21:59:56

Yes, say whatever u feel comfortable saying - it's your business and you shouldn't have to disclose the truth unless u want to,

shooeghMcFee Mon 02-Oct-17 22:00:44

I understand why you would not want to share such information about yourself, and I see no harm if someone ask you outright, for you to spin them a story. best wishes.

CakesRUs Mon 02-Oct-17 22:01:49

It would not be unreasonable. Say whatever you are comfortable with.

PerkingFaintly Mon 02-Oct-17 22:02:18

thanks for getting through all that.

Re the nosy parkers... How about "Oh I had an injury."

Followed by "I'd rather not talk about it, thanks, it wasn't very pleasant," if they persist.

Or feed them details like "I was so lucky not to lose the leg. The medics were wonderful," for the sort of nosy buggers who just revel in medical details.

LikeTheShoes Mon 02-Oct-17 22:02:46

You were ill. They are scars from when you used to be ill, no one needs to know anymore.

SquidgeyMidgey Mon 02-Oct-17 22:02:57

Infection and you'd rather not talk about it. Someone would have to be particularly nasty to push it further and you'd be within your rights to melt them with a deathstare. Well done you for picking yourself up and getting on.

uglyswan Mon 02-Oct-17 22:03:12

No, sweetheart, no, YANBU. At all. All you need to say is "I had an accident. I really don't want to talk about it". You're not hurting anyone by not telling them the truth. It's fine, it really really is. Go out and live your life. flowers

LivininaBox Mon 02-Oct-17 22:03:19

YANBU and it is none else's business, but perhaps a better story would be that you had a severe infection? As that is partly true. And a car accident might attract even more questions.

BatBelle Mon 02-Oct-17 22:04:06

Sorry to hear what you have been through flowers

If you don’t want to make up too much of a story you could just be vague and say you were in an accident. If people question you more, just tell them it was quite traumatic and you don’t really like to talk about it.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley Mon 02-Oct-17 22:04:57

Agree with PP- say what you're comfortable with saying. Like a Pp, I also have scars on my wrists. If people ask, I tell the truth. To me, they're a symbol of how far I've come...but I appreciate that not everyone thinks like me.

🌺

Ttbb Mon 02-Oct-17 22:05:18

Nope. You don't have to say anything you don't want. If you feel uncomfortable telling a (very white) lie then you can just say that you had an infection in your leg and a large part of it had to be removed as a result.

coffeecow Mon 02-Oct-17 22:05:23

You wouldn’t be unreasonable at all. I agree with PP who suggested saying you had a severe infection because that’s partly the truth and if someone quizzed you deeper you would be able to explain that part of it.

I hope you’re feeling much better now - go and live your life with your lovely daughter.

PerkingFaintly Mon 02-Oct-17 22:05:55

I get enquiries sometimes when I'm out in a wheelchair.

I just say "Oh, I just got sick. Nothing exciting I'm afraid."

No one's persevered past that, but if they do the next line will be, "I wish I could say I was skiing down the black run and abseiling through a window with a box of Milk Tray in my teeth, but alas, no, nothing exciting at all."

stealtheatingtunnocks Mon 02-Oct-17 22:06:13

See how outlandish you can go? Shark attack?

Elisheva Mon 02-Oct-17 22:06:21

The only problem with a car accident is that people are likely to ask more questions. Could you plan a story that is closer to the truth? You were very unwell (true) and had an episode which caused you to lose consciousness (also true), due to complications you got an infection which led to your injuries.
(true).
And well done for your amazing recovery so far flowers

youhavetobekidding Mon 02-Oct-17 22:07:51

Completely up to you to share as much or as little as you wish. Perhaps better to tell a half truth eg I fell and suffered nerve damage, rather than making up a story?

youhavetobekidding Mon 02-Oct-17 22:09:22

cross post with Elisheva

ShiftyMcGifty Mon 02-Oct-17 22:09:46

Agree... infection, you don't want to talk about it. There is something about car accidents that makes people ask for more info and details. I think it's the fear that it could randomly happen to anyone driving along minding their own business, etc.

DancingLedge Mon 02-Oct-17 22:11:09

I think that would be a good idea, if it helps you to get out.
Also, tbh, in a casual conversation, kinder to both parties.
I wonder if there's a form of words, which would fall between the stark truth, and a lie. Your intention was not to injure your leg, so in a sense this honestly was an accident. Something like, " I had major surgery after an accident, and will continue to have some problems. I prefer not to dwell on it" and promptly move on another topic. If pressed, " It's something I'm trying to put behind me, I never discuss it". So no actual lies about a car, no follow up about when, where, were you driving?

Not that I'm suggesting for a moment that you should feel you have to conceal this from close friends you choose to share with. Hold your head high, you've come through a dark time.
But, one, privacy of your own choosing is important too.

I wish you all the very best.

Voiceforreason Mon 02-Oct-17 22:15:01

Glad that you are feeling you want to venture out now. That is positive progress. I would say that I had had a very serious infection in my leg and had to have surgery. That is all people need to know and is all true anyway.

Arriettyborrower Mon 02-Oct-17 22:15:04

You don't need to tell anyone anything, I agree with previous posters you can just say you don't want to talk about it.
I presume you had rhabdo? If you wanted to say something which is the truth but without every detail you could say you had a collapsed episode that resulted in rhabdo and this is the result.
It really is no one else's business, but I appreciate people are curious.
It sounds like you are in a better place now, I hope that continues for you.

MehMehAndMeh Mon 02-Oct-17 22:15:07

That's perfectly understandable to say you had an accident and then refer to the procedures you had if you feel comfortable with that. If anyone asks for further info just say I'm sorry the details are fuzzy, I can't really remember much but it wasn't nice, so I am happy with things that way.

5rivers7hills Mon 02-Oct-17 22:16:25

“I had to have some operations. I do t really want to talk about it tho”<smile>

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