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'What I would tell myself in my 20's'

(93 Posts)
KissesAX Mon 02-Oct-17 19:46:21

I'm in my early 20s. It's not going great but all I hear is 'I wish I could tell my 20 year old self it's okay not to not know what you're doing in your life'.
AIBU to wish people could tell you actual advice and not just its okay to make mistakes.

I don't want my life to pass me by and waste my potential during my youth. Do any of you have advice how I can become successful and happy and avoid those big mistakes.

5rivers7hills Mon 02-Oct-17 19:49:41

You'll have the most energy you'll ever have - put all that into work and climbing the career ladder and also doing lots of fun things with friends. PLenty of time later to watch Netflix.

Choose a career that pays well. Your 35 year old self will thank you for it.

Pay into your pension. Your 70 year old Sep FC will than you.


Find exercise that needs enjoy and can keep doing the older you get.

Keep trim, its way harder after 25 and 30.

5rivers7hills Mon 02-Oct-17 19:50:01

Don't not pass up on opportunities to do 'stuff'

JoyceDivision Mon 02-Oct-17 19:52:44

Be brave, save, and buy the house that was £22k Doh!!

KissesAX Mon 02-Oct-17 19:53:01

Really good advice here, keep it coming please!

missyB1 Mon 02-Oct-17 19:53:34

Build your career, work hard and have a vision of where you want to get to.
Don't rush into relationships, being single is cool!
Start saving money even it's it's just a small amount.
Work hard at friendships, put the effort in.

Gizmo79 Mon 02-Oct-17 19:54:16

Travel and have fun.
Leave having kids until your in your 30's!!

MissConductUS Mon 02-Oct-17 19:54:43

Never date a salesman or a musician. smile

If you intend to get married and have a family don't kick the can down the road forever. I don't know if it's the same in the UK, but in the states it's much harder for women in their 30's to find suitable marriage partners than for women in their 20's. I'm not saying you should marry just anyone, but if you find a good man give it a go.

HainaultViaNewburyPark Mon 02-Oct-17 19:55:14

You're doing really well. Keep going with the studying - it'll pay off and you'll end up with a well-paid career. Dump the boyfriend though - he's bad news and you'll be much happier if you realise this now rather than in 5 years time. Don't worry too much about having only a handful of friends. You'll meet a great group of people whilst you are doing your PhD - these will be the friends that stick with you long term.

Lionroar Mon 02-Oct-17 19:59:41

Do not buy stuff from catalogues or in credit, debt can spiral quickly and take along time to get out of, ruining your credit for later.

Grab opportunities, trust yourself, take risks

DancesWithOtters Mon 02-Oct-17 20:03:30

To stay away from all of the men I am going to meet until I'm 27.

Whole trail of cunts.

Hairydilemma Mon 02-Oct-17 20:05:29

If you're lonely or bored, say 'yes' to everything you're invited to. Not everyone or everything will be your cup of tea but it's far better then sitting in on your own.

Work hard, as others have said. You have more time and more energy than you'll have later. Especially if you ever have children, the time you put in now will pay off later. The more respected you are, the easier it is to get things like flexible working.

You look brilliant! Don't forget it. You'll never look this young again.

RuggerHug Mon 02-Oct-17 20:06:19

Don't let people use you. Don't lend money. When you make a mistake (we all do) look at the 'this will be hilarious to look back on' side. Then move on.

VioletCharlotte Mon 02-Oct-17 20:07:29

Great thread! I'm always thinking I wish I could go back to my 20's knowing what I know now!

I made a lot of cock ups in my 20s so here goes...
Finish your degree
Don't take out credit cards/ store cards
Don't go overdrawn
Learn how to budget
Focus on your career
Stay fit and healthy
Don't over do the partying
Don't smoke
Travel as much as you can
Live on your own

SquidgeyMidgey Mon 02-Oct-17 20:08:15

Work hard, play hard, save for things and don't get in debt for anything other than a mortgage. Don't compare yourself to others. Establish your career so you have options and flexibility if/when you have children.

shockshockhorror Mon 02-Oct-17 20:08:48

Save your money!

Wispygypsy Mon 02-Oct-17 20:09:09

Travel, have fun, worry less, go out and do stuff- whatever you want to do! Live! smile

toffee1000 Mon 02-Oct-17 20:10:15

This may be just me, but the "having a vision of where you want to go" isn't particularly great advice if you genuinely have no clue what you want out of life like me. It just makes me worried about not having a clue. You can say things like "I want kids, I'd want to live in x place", but I genuinely have no clue with regards to career or other things like that. Unless you've got advice for people like me who have no clue...?

BeerBaby Mon 02-Oct-17 20:10:30

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Ditch the boyfriend he'll hold you back. Stop trying to please other people. Do things you want not the things you think I others want you to do. Live for yourself. Ignore your sister she's not all she thinks she is and your just as good as her but in different ways. Save at least £100/ month because you'll not be this well off in a while.

Travel, work hard, play hard and look out for you first. Move to America for a couple of years and do the job.

Listen to your friends. That man you really want is bad news. He only cares about himself. He'll chew you up, spit you out and keep coming back. He gets fat, bald, drinks too much and never moves on very far in life. The sex isn't as good as you think, you can (and will) have much better. Cut contact now 😖

Bodicea Mon 02-Oct-17 20:11:10

Travel lots. Once you have kids it centerparks and Mallorca for a quite while.
Say yes to every social invite going. Nearly bailed on the night I met my husband due to a hangover. The thought of missing him now gives me the chills.
Start paying into a pension.
Work as much as you are able to to get up the career ladder as the higher up you are the easier it is when you have kids.
Don’t settle for a dickhead that isn’t nice to you. Mutual respect is more important than anything.

LonginesPrime Mon 02-Oct-17 20:11:29

Cut people (friends, partners, etc) loose at the first signs of trouble - 'one last chance's can easily see you wasting a decade or more of your life with shitty people.

Tripilates Mon 02-Oct-17 20:12:03

Spend some time living alone. Be brave and believe in yourself as an independent, capable individual. Don't get married at 25.

jay55 Mon 02-Oct-17 20:12:33

Look after your teeth.

Altwoo Mon 02-Oct-17 20:17:26

Great question!

- don’t expect to have everything figured out in your 20s; it’s a transitional decade that should be fun
- don’t bail out boyfriends financially - you’ll pay the price for years
- and don’t take out credit cards. Ever.
- try as much as you can; what if windsurfing is your secret passion?!
- get into good exercise habits
- appreciate your body. You’re not fat, you’re really, really not.
- show up to things. Don’t be a flake.
- write down everyone’s birthdays and addresses. Send cards. Send random letters and emails. These things matter.
- read the important books and see the important films. It will help develop your taste.
- don’t have a TV. Waste of time.
- remember that if you want pets, you can have pets, and that it makes a house feel like a home!
- be clear on what you won’t compromise on. I had a flatmate to save money, and it made me stressed.
- but be aware that life isn’t black and white, and your views can change. Listen to other people and genuinely consider whether they have a point.

And listen to that Sunscreen song smile

FindTheLightSwitchDarren Mon 02-Oct-17 20:17:56

Maybe not relevant to you op, but I'd tell my 20yo self:

1) don't rely on your (humanities, bachelors) degree to get you a job. Or maybe don't even bother with the degree at all, unless you're planning on doing something which needs it; e.g. Teaching. Start working in something which interests you and work hard at it. I am a sahm now after a fairly mediocre career as a PA. I'll soon have to think about going back to work and a career change will be so much harder to facilitate with two young dcs.
2) that quiet, slightly nerdy looking guy you met in the first term at university who you didn't pay all that much attention to at the time, because you had a crush on his mate is awesome. (We got together when I was 21 and we have been together ever since, are married and have one dc with another on the way).
3) be nice to your parents; I lost my mum unexpectedly when I was 30.

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