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to think not everyone has "the girls", goes out for "girly chats" etc

(204 Posts)
CaptainWarbeck Sat 30-Sep-17 09:35:48

It does my head in and I don't know why. One of my friends is always referring to 'the girls' when she talks about her mates, and when we go for coffee together she gushes about us having such a good 'girly catch up'.

What makes it so 'girly' other than us just both being female?! I have just as good in-depth chats with male friends and I also just have a bunch of different pals who I see at different times, rather than a select group of female friends who go out on the town together as 'the girls' - usually while their boyfriends/husbands have a 'lads night out'.

Why does this annoy me so much!!

jeaux90 Sat 30-Sep-17 09:40:37

Yeah I'm with you a bit on this. I have really close friends both male and female but my best mate refers to girly nights out with "the girls"'which curls my toes grin

I think I'm being unreasonable and it's mainly because I have a very mixed set and work in a male dominated industry and have just as much fun with a group of blokes.

CaptainWarbeck Sat 30-Sep-17 09:43:58

Right so we're both probably being unreasonable, consensus of 2 grin

gymbummy Sat 30-Sep-17 09:46:53

When I got a new car, a friend said she hoped I'd been for 'lots of girly spins'. Why? Just why?

Tameagobairanois Sat 30-Sep-17 09:48:41

I think the terminology is a bit saccharine but I am looking forward to going out with a bunch of women I click with and can be myself with, to enjoy their humour and warmth and intelligence.

AuntieStella Sat 30-Sep-17 09:48:48

I dislike the phrases too.

One of the things I really like about MN is low tolerance for them

Aeroflotgirl Sat 30-Sep-17 09:48:52

Yabu its the same as men having a lads night out. Each to their own and all that. Also I am over a certain age, and its nice being referred to like that, not personally, but my mates asking me, 'lets have a girls night out', makes me feel young.

MrsMontgomerySmythe Sat 30-Sep-17 09:49:06

Can't think of anything worse than a "girly night out".

Give me mixed company or make company everytime please.

Still I have 4 brothers so maybe this is simply my comfort zone.

TheNaze73 Sat 30-Sep-17 09:50:02

I think it's just the emphasis on a single sex activity which is named badly.

CaptainWarbeck Sat 30-Sep-17 09:50:10

I think the girly catch up thing annoys me because it insinuates that chats have been had about emotions and relationships which couldn't possibly have been done with a man.

Which is a load of tosh.

Sayyouwill Sat 30-Sep-17 09:50:52

I enjoy nights out with my female friends and I call the girls nights out as it refers to the group of people I'm with. I also have couples night out or <place where I know them from> nights out.

retreatwhispering Sat 30-Sep-17 09:50:53

I'm with you OP! I don't get it either.

MrsJayy Sat 30-Sep-17 09:51:34

I do realise it is harmless it is just friends blah de blah but it does my head in and i don't know why it makes me cringe so much, my sister put up a photo montage of her "girls" on facebook and i urghed is it because girls for women sounds so frivilous or something?

BertrandRussell Sat 30-Sep-17 09:52:58

I love going out with my women friends.

Do you mean the activity or the ghastly wording?

CaptainWarbeck Sat 30-Sep-17 09:53:27

Yeah mrsjayy infantilisation?

Mxyzptlk Sat 30-Sep-17 09:54:45

Is it women who don't have close male friends or even male mates, who are likely to say this?
So for them, a 'girly' thing is more fun or close or whatever they like.

Or it could just be a way of trying to make something sound more special than it really is.

CaptainWarbeck Sat 30-Sep-17 09:55:06

No Bert 'women friends' doesn't annoy me. And I do get a lot from single sex discussions about female experiences like breastfeeding, birth etc and generally just being in female groups too so it's not that.

CaptainWarbeck Sat 30-Sep-17 09:57:01

Mxy maybe it's that.

zeebeedee Sat 30-Sep-17 09:57:12

I'm in my late 40's, as is my closest colleague, and this week, the female manager of another team we work closely with, who is in her late 50's came in to our office to tell us something and started with 'Oh girls, ....' it felt horrible, like she was putting us down.
Our direct boss would never say that, BUT I don't really see a problem with a group self referring that way - it's shorthand probably for a group that have known each other since they were girls. I might have a night out with 'work people' or 'school mums' or 'DSis and the girls' who have all known each other since we were 11/12.

MrsJayy Sat 30-Sep-17 09:57:36

I think it is the wording Bertrand not actually being with female friends that annoys me I do things with my friends and daughters that my dh wouldn't be interested in but i dont call it girly time

Lilifer Sat 30-Sep-17 09:58:16

I can't bear it either, it does seem a bit infantilising.

Also strange nowadays when gender identity is becoming less defined.

Still I suppose it will be a long time before folk start enthusing about their upcoming non-binary night out!

I'm sure we ABU about this but somehow I don't care grin

CaptainWarbeck Sat 30-Sep-17 09:59:23

Lilifer grin

MrsJayy Sat 30-Sep-17 10:00:46

Ha! going out with my non binary companions doesn't have the same ring to it grin

NightsOfCabiria Sat 30-Sep-17 10:01:38

Yes, this irritates me too.

I think it's largely cultural and goes hand in hand with spa days, 'hubs' and cupcake parties. All just a bit too twee for my liking. I prefer mixed company too.

SemolinaSilkpaws Sat 30-Sep-17 10:01:49

I use the term but very tongue in cheek as my friends and I are very far from being girls now.

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