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To think I don't belong on mumsnet

(246 Posts)
Jollygoodsnow Tue 26-Sep-17 13:42:01

Is mumsnet thoroughly middle class? Often I feel out of my depth on here. People talking about what to do with their £50k inheritance or where to buy to get the most out of their £1.5mil. And here I am with DH living in the south in a rented home trying so hard to get a foot on the ladder because you'd be lucky to get anything worthwhile round here for less that £250k

Then there's the people asking do you like this dress/top/bag and I open the link and it's an item of £80 £200 or more etc etc. Who is spending that sort of money on themselves? And how? I want in on it!

Then there's those on a good salary. I earn minimum wage. Going all over the world on holiday, we go to Butlins

Posts about problems with the nanny, the cleaner bla bla

Life is not a conparison game but how do others seem to just land on their feet so well or people on here just lying through their teeth? I work hard for my money and so does DH , we've not much debt and money in the bank but I just have this nagging feeling others are galloping through life whilst I'm sort of trotting catching up behind?

Feel free to enlighten me with your stories of 'normalness'

Either than or perhaps I should pop over to netmums grin

Trollspoopglitter Tue 26-Sep-17 13:45:09

Plenty of stories here about posters having less than £10 in their pocket until payday, in abusive relationships, trying and failing to conceive, out of their depths with issues concerning their children... it's you who appears to be focusing on certain posts here, OP.

Wolfiefan Tue 26-Sep-17 13:45:58

NOOOOO don't go over to the net side.
In wearing a lovely outfit from the designers at Sainsburys.
I don't have a cleaner (though the house would benefit!)
It's bloody expensive down there! Ouch.

Katedotness1963 Tue 26-Sep-17 13:46:34

Yes, the tales of £25,000 engagement rings, £5000 a month clothing allowance and spending £40,000 on holidays over a year are quite surprising, aren't they? Do be honest I take those stories with a pinch of salt.

fridgepants Tue 26-Sep-17 13:46:54

I feel like the poor relation a lot of the time (we're renting, aren't sure if we can afford to live in our city long-term, whilst people I work with are worrying about whether to have a £12k kitchen refurb) so I feel you. Trying to buy without having an inheritance is a bit like running to catch a train that's already leaving the station - and it pisses me off that people in my current role in the late 90s could easily buy their own places. I think the way the property market is now does feel like it's socially divisive.

On the other hand, I went to Japan two years ago thanks to being one of the people who actually had PPI, and am going again next year thanks to finding a flight that makes it almost as cheap as taking the train to Scotland for a week. Perhaps not doable on minimum wage, but we don't drive, have Sky etc. so it's a luxury DP and I can take. I'm too fat to spend £80 on an item of clothing right now though grin

AuntLydia Tue 26-Sep-17 13:46:56

Is it possible you're noting all those kinds of threads because it's something you feel resentful about? I think Mumsnet is pretty varied and not 'thoroughly' middle class. Yes, there have been plenty of times where I've read things and thought 'wow, it's a different world' but equally I've thought the opposite when people are posting about how they only have a tenner to last them til pay day or whatever.

KarateKitten Tue 26-Sep-17 13:47:25

A lot of people both on here and in real life are struggling. Some of us are lucky and got great starts and the right information in life. It isn't fair I know.

fridgepants Tue 26-Sep-17 13:47:29

Netmums is also full of tickers, they are not appropriate at any tax bracket.

NearLifeExperience Tue 26-Sep-17 13:47:37

I'm just back from Primark and Poundland, if that helps!

RedBlackberries Tue 26-Sep-17 13:48:22

I don't own a house. Me and dh don't have degrees. We have chicken dippers in the freezer grin

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere Tue 26-Sep-17 13:48:55

I've posted about having nothing, about ideas for free days out, bargain hunting at christmas, about my tax credits stopping with no notice at all and having £10 to feed me and 5 kids for a week, even got excited when I got a part time crappy minimum wage job and was congratulated....

Not all MNers are loaded.

I can't even afford Butlins if that makes you feel better.

Pickleypickles Tue 26-Sep-17 13:48:56

YANBU, I often feel like you when I'm on mn but there are often threads by people who are skint asking for tips and things i think you just notice those less when its more like the position you're in than the ones about the handbag you could only dream of buying on a whim.
Like you said though life isnt a competition and i can honestly say im happy in my life, its not expwnsove holidays and flash cars but its mine and i earnt it, plus I would much rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable grin

sunseptember Tue 26-Sep-17 13:49:35

it's you who appears to be focusing on certain posts here, OP YY

how do others seem to just land on their feet so well or people on here just lying through their teeth? I work hard for my money and so does DH , we've not much debt and money in the bank but I just have this nagging feeling others are galloping through life whilst I'm sort of trotting catching up behind?

Op have you ever lost a close relative? Do you feel inheriting money from your mother or father is falling on ones feet?

I am not sure how you would get perspective on that, but from where I am it looks extremely crass on your part.

BIWI Tue 26-Sep-17 13:49:36

Mumsnet is a huge site and there are wealthy people and poor people. Extremely wealthy and extremely poor people.

You definitely belong here, however much money you have!

LurkingHusband Tue 26-Sep-17 13:49:45

What makes you assume that everybody is posting the truth ?

Coffeeandcherrypie Tue 26-Sep-17 13:50:18

I think the split between 'just getting by' and 'well off' is about 50/50 on MN.

I'm on MN most days and I don't think there are many threads about £50k inheritances and £1.5m savings. Or questions about £200 bags/dresses.

Are you hanging out in the money and shopping topics alot?

pinkie1982 Tue 26-Sep-17 13:50:34

I work for the NHS, struggle to pay my childminder and rent from Social Housing blush ...Sshhh!

BovForBov Tue 26-Sep-17 13:50:46

We're in the south, renting a mouldy outdated flat stuck in here with 2 young dc as we can't afford anywhere better in the area. No garden. Living hand to mouth. It's It's barrel of laughs. But we make do and have some plans on trying to get out of this situation.

sunseptember Tue 26-Sep-17 13:51:01

and am going again next year thanks to finding a flight that makes it almost as cheap as taking the train to Scotland for a week.

^^ ooh what flight!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis Tue 26-Sep-17 13:51:04

Me too Wolfie!

Eolian Tue 26-Sep-17 13:52:01

You're just noticing the people who are wealthy more because they make you feel poor! MN may be more than averagely MC but that doesn't mean most MNers are wealthy.

Also, why assume that most of those people who do have a lot of money either 'landed on their feet' or are lying? Most of them probably worked very hard for it.

I consider myself pretty normal lifestyle-wise, but it depends what your basis for comparison is. We have a nice 4 bed detached house in a lovely village but can't really afford to do much that needs doing to it or buy nice stuff for it. We mostly go on camping holidays in the UK and I don't do expensive salons, designer handbags etc.

Jollygoodsnow Tue 26-Sep-17 13:52:11

I actually do think I am a bit resentful, and I don't like the fact that I am because I don't begrudge others succcess or happiness. In real life I seem to have picked a group of friends in life that have all had very fortunate starts so I aspire to be like them, maybe if I had a friendship group that had a similar background I'd not feel so unsettled and unsuccessful. I know I'm fortunate to have what I do, which is a darn sight more than most but truth is I do want more

sporadicrains Tue 26-Sep-17 13:52:44

I'm not middle class and I don't have two beans to rub together, I know what you mean though, and I tend to avoid that type of thread. There are thousands of others.

FannyWisdom Tue 26-Sep-17 13:52:58

I'm poor.
The difference isn't financial it's resilience.

Netmums indulge people and their feelings more.
Often at the expense of common sense.
Mumsnet is more blunt instrument.

LittleLights Tue 26-Sep-17 13:53:15

LurkingHusband

What makes you assume that everybody is posting the truth?

This, with bells on

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